Looking for the Light
by GleeLovex3
Summary: Santana, Quinn, and Rachel are the daughters of incredibly flawed parents Leroy and Shelby. Leroy is abusive despite the friendly persona he gives off to the world and Shelby has been reduced to an absentee parent. Follow the girls as they try to navigate their way through the cards they've been dealtbwithout drowning in the darkness. Warning: adult themes, violence, language.
1. Chapter 1

It was 9:00pm on a school night, well past Rachel's bed time and it made Santana nervous that her youngest sister still hadn't returned to their room. She and Quinn were used to their father's punishment "lectures", but all Rachel had done was spill the orange juice she was trying to pour. It was a complete accident that any eight year old could make and it did not at all constitute any form of punishment. Especially punishment by the hand of their father.

"Santana?"

Quinn's voice shook Santana from her thoughts. "You don't think he'll, you know, do anything to her right?"

Santana looked at her sister. Quinn was the product of a one night stand their mother had 14 years ago. Once Santana was old enough and curiosity got the best of her, Shelby explained to her that their father Leroy had just been "too much" one day, and that the director she was working with at the time offered to help her "relax". It was Shelby's only act of infidelity and she paid for it with the birth of a pale skinned, blonde haired, hazel eyed little girl. Leroy would tell friends and relatives that Quinn must have picked up all of the recessive genes he and Shelby carried. He, of course, knew better. That's when he first begin to hit Shelby. Her mother refused to go into anymore detail, but Santana didn't need to hear any more in that moment. At the time she was only twelve, Quinn just barely nine, and Rachel just three. He still beats Shelby almost daily, not caring if any of the girls are there to witness it. What makes Santana most angry is that their mother barely fights it anymore. She lets him hit her, and worse, she lets him hit their children. It made Santana loathe the mother she once loved so much. In almost every aspect, Shelby left her three daughters to fend for themselves. She loved them, but she seemed to love her bed and some alcohol slightly more.

Santana and Quinn made sure Leroy never laid a hand on Rachel. She was his favorite child and the least prone to be punished by him, but they would do anything in their power to allow the eight-year-old to keep her innocence for as long as possible. Deep down, Santana knew Leroy had been spiraling out of control for a long time. She knew he was bound to snap sooner or later if he hadn't already. She didn't think he would put a hand on Rachel, but truthfully, she had no idea. She wouldn't let Quinn know that.

"No. He won't. He's probably just talking to her," she said, hoping her face told a convincing story.

Whether or not she believed it, Santana didn't know, but Quinn seemed to accept the answer. She nodded her head and sat against the headboard of her bed, knees pulled up to her chest. Santana sighed. Ever since Quinn was a baby she was incredibly difficult to read. It was not easy to get inside of her head. Nonetheless, Santana was just as protective of Quinn as she was of Rachel, though she wouldn't make it obvious to her blonde sister. Rachel on the other hand was an open book. It was partly due to her young age and partly due to her natural personality. Santana thanked God for it. She could always sense Rachel's fear or anger or excitement.

At that moment, the door opened. Leroy held the door open, keeping one hand on the doorknob. He watched as Rachel climbed into her bed and gave a sweet "Night Daddy" to him.

"Goodnight my Princess," Leroy said. "Remember what we talked about."

Rachel nodded her head in understanding.

Santana watched as Leroy's head turned to face Quinn and Santana's direction. Their beds were side by side across from Rachel's in the tiny room the girls shared, made smaller by all three of the girls beds taking up a majority of the space.

"Santana," he said gruffly, "come with me."

Quinn's looked at him. "No! Please Dad it's a school night and it's already late enough..." she trailed off. Rachel looked on with wide eyes and tussled hair.

Santana looked at her sisters with a small smile and closed her eyes at the sound of her father's voice. "Santana, come with me," he repeated, completely ignoring that Quinn had said anything at all.

Santana knew better than to disobey her father. Refusing to cooperate with just about anything he wanted usually resulted in some form of physical abuse to either of the older girls or Shelby. There was no way in hell Santana was ever going to subject Quinn or even their mother to his abuse any more than they had to be. Santana squeezed Quinn's hand which was resting on her knee and got up to go with Leroy.

They walked down the small hallway of their New York City apartment and reached the door to Leroy and Shelby's room. Again, Leroy put his hand on the door but did not open it.

"Keep your mother company tonight, she doesn't feel well."

Santana glared at him. "Where are you going?"

"I have work," he stated simply. His face was cold. It had been cold for as long as Santana could remember, even in her childhood when things were slightly better.

"You work in real estate. There's no way in hell you're going to 'work'. Tell me where the fuck you're going."

Leroy grabbed her by the arm and pinned her against the wall. A photo of Leroy and Shelby's wedding photo shook on the wall from the force. "How dare you talk to me that way. I am your father," he spat. His voice was threateningly low. "Another word out of your mouth and your bastard sister gets more than a few solid punches. Got it?"

Santana looked him straight in the eye, her voice also low. "Don't touch her."

At her words, he grabbed fistful of her hair and pulled it down. She let out a grunt and attempted to fight him off.

"Santana?"

Shelby's voice was faintly heard coming from the other side of the door. Leroy roughly let go of Santana's hair and pinned her back against the wall. "Saved by the bell," he whispered into her ear. "Don't question me again. Keep your mother company."

With that he opened the door for Santana to enter. She did, and watched as he closed the door and listened as he headed for the front door and left the apartment. She let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding and turned to face her mother. She looked old. Much older than her years. Santana's heart broke in frustration. She loved her mother and had some wonderful memories with her, but for more than half of Santana's seventeen years she had been withdrawn and so far removed from what was happening in front of her eyes day in and day out.

"Come here, baby. Lay with me," Shelby said with half closed eyes, a smile, and outstretched arms.

Instead, Santana sat on the small chair in the corner of the room.

"Why don't we leave? Just take us and leave."

Shelby put her arms down and closed her eyes. Her smile still there but slowly disappearing.

"Oh, Santana. Don't be dramatic sweetheart. Your father can be strict but he loves you."

"Love? Is that what he tells you when he bangs your head into the wall five times in a row? When he punches you in the face in front of Quinn? Do you feel fucking loved when you have to pile on makeup just to go to the grocery store? That's not love Mom!"

"Santana-" Shelby began, but Santana's infamous rage was coming out strong.

"No! Shut up and listen to me! For once in your pathetic life, please just listen to me. He beats you. Every single day. In front of us! In front of Rachel! She's going to think it's fucking normal, Mom and it's not. It's not fucking normal! And you know what? Maybe you can live with him beating you. Maybe you get off on it. I don't know, but he hits us too Mom! Me and Quinn. I know you aren't as idiotic as you seem. He's hitting your children! Are you going to wait for him to start hitting Rachel before you finally fucking do something?! Please. I am literally begging you. You can make this right this time. Let's just go. He's not here, we can pack a few things and just go."

By this point she was out of breath and red in the face. She was so desperate to get through to her mother, for her to see that there could still be hope and that they didn't have to live this life in a too-small apartment with an abusive and evil man controlling their almost every move.

"Santana, enough of this. Sometimes parents resort to corporal punishment. I am not perfect and I deserve some of the things your father does to me. It's what grown couples do. Either way, that is none of your business. You girls can be a lot to handle sometimes, but he would never hurt you."

Santana gave a bitter laugh. "Whatever. Believe what you want. Believe that I'm a naive child if it's what lets you sleep at night. Why did he want me to stay with you?"

Shelby yawned, sleep overtaking her. Santana couldn't believe her body could actually be tired after what she just heard in the hallway and after listening to Santana scream at her. Then again, this was the infamous Shelby Corcoran-Lopez.

"Because he knows-" she yawned again, "he knows how happy my girls make me.."

And with that she was asleep. Santana rolled her eyes and made the conscious decision to go back to the room she shared with her sisters. She would go back to her parents room before Leroy came home, but she needed to clear her head for a minute.

When she got back to the room she found Rachel fast asleep and Quinn with earbuds in her ears listening to classical music, a habit she had gotten into when things whenever Leroy summoned Santana or their mother. Santana pulled the string of the ear closest to hear, making the earbud fall out of Quinn's ear. Her sister gasped in surprise.

"Santana!" she screamed.

"Shh," Santana said glancing at Rachel. "Sorry. You okay?"

Quinn took the other piece out of her ear and wrapped up the cord and put it in the drawer of her end table and nodded. "What did he want?"

"Not sure," Santana replied honestly.

"Well, why did you fight?"

"You heard?" Santana asked surprised. Quinn almost always put her music on immediately after Leroy exited with his current victim of violence. Quinn nodded again.

"I need to pay more attention," she said, her eyebrows furrowed in focus. "I tried to hear what he was saying but then I heard the thump against the wall and knew I must've missed something. I was going to come out but then he left and you didn't come back and I heard start yelling at Mom so I put music on to distract myself.." she trailed off embarrassed. "So are you gonna tell me?"

Santana sighed. Their lives were so fucked up. Her 14 year-old-sister listened at the door for any hint of why her so called 'father' would be beating on her sister this time.

"Quinn, you can't ever come out when that happens okay? You know it's never anything I can't handle. It's fine. If you ever interrupt it'll just make it worse."

Quinn's gaze faltered. "I make everything worse."

Santana sat on her own bed and faced Quinn.

"Would you stop with that crap? You make nothing worse. He's psychotic-" she was cut off by her sister.

"Let's just stop okay? We're gonna wake up the hobbit and I'm in no mood to lull her back to sleep. Go to bed, San. At least tomorrow is Monday," Quinn said and covered herself in blankets and turned over. In other words, Santana knew the conversation was over. Her blonde sister's stubbornness rivaled Santana's own and she knew it wasn't a battle worth fighting. She looked over at Rachel happy to see her still fast asleep. Monday, Quinn had said. Thank God. Monday meant school and the start of five days with at least eight consecutive hours away from the hell they called home. Their comfy little apartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, the envy of so many, so perfect on the outside, was the misery of the family that inhabited it.

Santana sighed, not for the first time that night, and turned off the lamp on her end table. It was just another typical Sunday in the Lopez household, but the older she got, the more impatient she grew. She closed her eyes and prayed for sleep to overtake her, bringing her dreams of a happiness she could never find at home. ' _Monday'_ she thought. _'School, Cheerios, Brittany's, and Leroy's late night at work_. The thought of the peaceful hours away from her father tomorrow brought her comfort, as it did every Sunday night. She only hated that it was always over far too quickly.

 **Hello! This story was an idea that's been floating around for awhile in my mind. I wanted to finally get it written so that the creative juices could start flowing. This is probably the shortest any of my chapters will be. If there's any interest, I'd ideally like to post semi-regular updates. If not, this story will forever live in my computer alone! Let me know what you think by reviewing if you have time. Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

****

**Hello all! Thanks for the reviews for the first chapter! This next chapter was originally the second half of chapter 1, but I wanted to break it in half and break it up a little bit. So without further ado, here's chapter 2!**

Santana awoke the next morning before her alarm. Her heart raced as she quickly sat up in bed. It was 4:17am and she never returned to her parents room where her father had told her to stay. She knew he would see it as blatant refusal of his orders and her heart beat even faster at the thought of what punishment eventually awaited her.

She quietly got out of bed with a natural glance to each of her sisters. It was instinct to make sure they were there and okay. Quinn tossed but remained asleep and Santana left the room to creep down the hallway to her parents bedroom. When she slowly opened the door, she was surprised to see that her father wasn't back. Her heart beat faster. Where was he and why wasn't he home? She gently got into the bed next to her mother and kept a safe distance between them. She laid there with her eyes open and mind racing, every trace of sleep gone from her body. She wasn't sure why she was nervous. She didn't mind that he wasn't home, but they had a very strict morning routine that Leroy instilled and supervised every morning. There is no way he would miss the morning, but he would if he wasn't back in the next hour and a half.

She wasn't sure how long she was laying there, but she must have fallen asleep because before she knew it, she heard shuffling coming from down the hall. She could hear the muffled voices of Quinn and Rachel and the sound of a running sink in the bathroom. Santana turned and looked past her still sleeping mother to see that the alarm clock read 6:35am. She practically leapt out of the bed at the thought of being late for the morning. All three girls were supposed to be awake and out of bed at 6:00.

Upon reaching the bathroom she saw, unsurprisingly, her younger sisters already fighting.

"Rachel, you've been brushing your teeth for ten minutes! I need to take a shower and you're using all the water!"

"I neef to get ma gums," Rachel explained through a mouthful of toothpaste.

"Would you just spit already? I have a lot more to do than you do."

Santana interjected and glared at Quinn. "You haven't even showered yet? Why not?"

"Oh, hi San! You're finally up" Rachel spit and smiled at her sister.

"Hey Rach. Quinn, you're supposed to shower at 6:15, he's going to be mad that everything's out of whack." she said trying to keep her voice down.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Good morning to you to, Santana. And I know but if you haven't noticed, he's not here. He never came back last night and I for one am not going to live by his dictatorship when he's not even here."

Santana shut the still running sink and gave Rachel a wash cloth for her face. "Wipe your mouth and go get dressed. I'll help you with your hair in a minute."

Rachel groaned. "Why? Mom said she would help do my hair today."

Quinn let out a chuckle and shook her head. "As if."

"Stop being mean to me!"

"Stop making it so easy. You think Mom's really going to get up before 1pm on a Monday?" chided Quinn.

"Yes! She told me yesterday that she would-"

"STOP!" Santana yelled. She leaned against the door frame and took the wash cloth from Rachel. "Rachel, please just go into the room and get dressed okay? I'll be there in a minute. Today is weird. I'll see if Mom can do your hair, just give me a second." Santana said, knowing there was no way their mother was going to do Rachel's hair and likely didn't even remember telling her she would.

Rachel rolled her eyes and dramatically stormed out of the bathroom toward their shared bedroom with a huff.

"What a drama queen," Quinn started as she turned on the shower. "You know, she really needs to-"

"No. Shut up, Quinn," Santana said. "I can't believe you're seriously running this far behind. This is bad."

Quinn sat on the toilet lid in her robe and looked her sister. The shower was still running. "Look San, I know you're freaking out because he's not here, and yeah it's totally weird but why question it? We should enjoy the freedom while we can. This could go down in history as the best Monday morning ever."

"I question it, Quinn, because who's to say he won't come through the front door at any minute and go apeshit on all of us? You know as well as I do how much more irritable and impatient he's been lately. Are you really this willing to risk it?"

"Maybe I am," Quinn said as she stood up. As she watched Quinn stand she caught sight of a nasty bruise on her sister's collar bone and stared. Quinn noticed the look and wrapped her robe tighter around herself to conceal the bruise. "Can you go now? You're prolonging the shower you so desperately want me to take."

Santana was mad. It wasn't even seven in the morning and the best day of the week was already proving difficult. If this was how Quinn wanted to act, Santana decided to just let her do it. Typical fourteen-year-old attitude. Santana could not recall the last time her father had ever missed the family's morning routine.

"Whatever. I don't have time for this right now. Just hurry up. I need to go in too."

She closed the door behind her and missed the face Quinn made at her while her back was turned. She headed back to the room where Shelby remained sleeping. Santana opened the door and didn't even try to be quiet as she went to her mother's dresser for a certain brush Rachel liked to use. The top of the dresser had four empty beer bottles from the previous evening.

"Mom?" she said loudly. Shelby continued to snore quietly. "Mom!"

Slowly she stirred. "Hmm?"

Santana had found the brush she wanted and turned around and leaned her back against the dresser. "Are you gonna do Rachel's hair?"

"Who?"

Santana slammed the brush down on the dresser for it to make a loud _SMACK!_ Some of the bottles jiggling.

"Rachel's hair! Are you gonna do it or not?"

Without responding Shelby turned over in bed and pulled the covers over her face. Santana sighed and slammed the door as she left the room. She knew she shouldn't have bothered asking, but she felt Rachel deserved it. One day, Santana hoped she would learn not to expect anything from her mother.

She walked into her room to find Rachel standing in front of her bed with two different shirts laid out on it. One was a pink sweater with sparkly sequins and the other a long sleeved green t-shirt with white stars.

"What's it gonna be, midget?"

"I really don't know. The future Broadway star in me says the green one, but the sequins speak for themselves don't you think?"

Santana laughed. "Can't argue with that logic. I'm gonna say pink sequins. Pink is a good color on you. Plus, I think it's going to snow some more later and you'll be warmer in a sweater."

New York winters were brutal. If it wasn't snowing, the temperature was always below freezing with wind chills making it feel like single digits.

Rachel smiled at her sister. "I was secretly hoping you'd' say the pink one." She gestured for Santana to turn around so she could slip the shirt on. "Okay, I'm good," she said as she finished. "Is Mom coming?" Her voice and her big brown eyes held so much hope. It hurt Santana to have to take that hope away.

"No, she's not. I don't think she's feeling that well again. She's just tired," Santana said. Rachel sat on her freshly made bed.

"But that's not fair. She's always sick. Does she have the flu or a migraine?"

"I know it's not fair Rach, but she just..." Santana struggled to find the right words. She wanted to be honest with Rachel but at the same time she didn't need to know the real extent of just how messed up their mother had become and why. "She just needs more mental health days than the average person."

Rachel shrugged in response and sat next to Santana on Santana's bed so her big sister could start on her hair. "A french braid," she said.

It was silent for a few moments as Santana started to braid before Rachel spoke up again. "Is that why she quit her job? Cause she needs more mental health days than everyone else?"

Shelby had been a professional Broadway actress for much of her early adult life. After Quinn came along and Leroy's temper became more heated, Shelby took more roles Off-Broadway with a less demanding schedule and fewer responsibilities, until eventually it became too much altogether. For the past ten years she served as a Musical Director and vocal coach at a theater downtown. Though recently, that had become too much for her as well.

"Yeah Rachel, that is why. She needs a lot of rest."

"Because of Dad? Because he punishes her bad and she has to sleep it off?"

Santana finished the braid and tied it with a pink ponytail. She swallowed the lump in her throat at the thought of her sister being just eight years old and exposed to things no child should even have knowledge of.

"That's part of it, yeah," Santana offered.

Rachel, curious by nature, pressed for more. "What's the other part?"

"There is no other part, you're right."

Rachel stood and turned to face her sister. "No. You said 'that's part of it'. That means there's another part."

Santana stood and went to the closet to grab her Cheerios uniform and a towel for the shower. "It's complicated, Rachel. I don't know how to explain it, but I promise you don't have to worry about it okay? It's way too early for this conversation. Let's find your shoes. Then, like we usually do, you and Quinn eat breakfast and I'll shower. Kay?"

"Okay," she said. "Sanny?"

"What?"

"Where is he?"

Santana looked Rachel straight in the eye. "I really don't know, Rach."

"Do you think he's somewhere bad?"

"I don't know. He said he was working."

"Oh," Rachel said. "Sanny?"

"What, Rachel?"

"Is he going to hurt me?"

Santana was taken aback by the question but answered immediately. "No."

"But how do you know?"

Santana sat back on the bed but kept Rachel standing. "Rachel, why do you think he's going to hurt you?"

"Well.. cause.. well he hurts you and Quinn," she answered staring at the floor.

Santana wanted to punch her arm through the nearest window. The rage that bubbling inside of her was overwhelming. "Rachel listen to me. He is never going to hurt you. Even if he tried, I would never let him. You know that right? Quinn and I would never let him."

Rachel nodded, but Santana could tell there was more she wanted to say. "What?"

Rachel looked at her. "It's just.. Quinn said.."

Santana's eyebrows raised. "What? Quinn said what?"

"Nothing."

"Rachel," Santana said, giving her the sternest look she'd probably ever given her sister. "What did she say?"

"That Daddy hit her when she was eight. And I just feel like maybe time is running out and he won't love me anymore soon and then he'll hurt me."

Santana took both of Rachel's hands in her own and kept her eye contact direct. "Listen to me. Nobody can predict what he does. There is no timeline or reason. You need to hold on to the fact that he _does_ love you and that if he even thinks about hurting you, he'd have to go through me. And you know how scary I am right?"

This brought a smile out of Rachel. "Yeah, I definitely do. Sanny?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I go kick Quinn out of the bathroom now?"

Santana allowed herself to let out a slight laugh and swatted Rachel on the butt with her towel playfully. "Yes! Please do."

Rachel was on her way out of the room when Santana called out to her. "Rachel, I meant what I said. I swear to you no one will ever touch you."

"I'm gonna hug you now, okay?" said the little brunette. Santana smiled and returned the hug and then watched as Rachel proceeded down the hall yelling "QUIIIIIIIINN!" to get their blonde sister out of the bathroom.

The three girls managed to get ready and make it out of the house by 7:45. Santana and Quinn walked with Rachel until they reached her elementary school and then continued on to the high school where they were a senior and freshman respectively.

The walk was fairly silent. The girls walked deep in their own thoughts. Santana wanted to enjoy her favorite day of the week and that was already impossible to due to the fact that her mind was swarming with ideas and theories as to where her father was and why he never came home. Was he dead? Is that what she wanted? Was he actually working? Did he fall asleep somewhere and actually lose track of time? She didn't know what was going on in Quinn's mind but she imagined her sister was having similar thoughts.

She forced herself to push all thoughts of Leroy to the back of her mind and instead focus on getting to spend the day with the other blonde her life.

"Santana! Quinn!"

Santana instantly relaxed and smiled at Brittany's voice. Her best friend/girlfriend-who-wasn't-offically-her-girlfriend-but-basically-was stood on the corner of the Manhattan block their school was on. As they met Brittany slyly leaned in and sneakily gave Santana a peck on cheek when she made sure the coast was clear of anyone other than Quinn.

"Okay, gross. I'm out of here. Enjoy your day guys. See you, Britt," Quinn said and scurried off to her first class.

"What's up her butt?" asked Brittany.

Santana smiled and walked shoulder to shoulder with Brittany as they made their way into the building. "The better question is what _isn't_ up her ass. There's always something, but I guess it makes sense."

"What do you mean?" asked Brittany.

"Nah, nothing," said Santana. Brittany knew nothing about her family life other than the fact that their mother was ailing and their father was a bit more strict than the average parent. Santana never wanted her to find out. Leroy had threatened the girls on numerous occasions about what would happen to them and their mother if they made so much as a suggestion to someone else about the physical and verbal abuse that went on in their home. "She's just fourteen and a bitch by nature. It's a lose-lose. How was your Sunday?"

"It was good, boring, but good," said the tall blonde. They stopped by each of their lockers and Santana listened as Brittany went on about how her sister and her family stopped by the house for Sunday dinner and how mashed potatoes had exploded when her nephew tried to heat them up in the microwave. Santana laughed at the story and tried to imagine the situation happening in her house. She didn't like the way it looked in her mind.

They made their way to the first period class they shared and passed notes back and forth since Mrs. Dusenbury was oblivious to anything going on in her classroom. She so enjoyed the freedom she felt at school and wished it could last forever. Brittany often told her that if she felt this free in high school, she'd feel like Queen of the world in college. College was something she tried not to think about. She wanted so badly to go to school far away and never return home. She wanted to stretch her wings and fly as far as they would carry her. The only problem was that she could never leave Quinn and Rachel alone in that apartment.

She shook her head and looked at the note Brittany had just past to her.

 _Sweet lady kisses in the locker room after Cheerios practice?_

Santana blushed and looked at Brittany who was already looking at her. Santana winked. Maybe this Monday would turn around after all.

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I always find the beginning of stories the most challenging to write. There is a lot to set up and I hope that you'll be patient with me as this story unfolds chapter by chapter. Things will not happen overnight in this story. There are relationships and personalities and depth that I want to develop as fully as possible. I hope you'll stick around for the ride! Please don't forget to REVIEW if you have a minute. They really keep me inspired and encouraged. Thank you! xox**


	3. Chapter 3

Quinn spent her final period of the day daydreaming about everything from bacon, to her father, to the time she burnt bacon for her father, to Cheerios practice. That's what her mind was currently focused on. Three nights ago Quinn had accidentally gotten in Leroy's way in the kitchen. In Quinn's mind, it wasn't that big of a deal. They lived in an average sized apartment in New York City, the kitchens were small. It didn't make a difference to Leroy. He grabbed Quinn by the back of the neck and shoved her. Hard. She tripped and fell right into the corner of the countertop, her collar bone taking much of the force. She dared not cry in front of Leroy, so she took a deep breath and stood upright. Leroy had continued his business in the kitchen and without turning around told Quinn, "Whatever mark that leaves isn't even my fault. Clumsy."

Quinn sat in class and absentmindedly rubbed her hand over her collar bone. The bruise really started to show yesterday and after her shower this morning she felt like a purple spotted dinosaur when she took into account some of the smaller, healing bruises on her shins and elbow from other Leroy encounters. Cheerios was going to be an issue today if she couldn't lift her arms above her head without it hurting. And if she couldn't lift her arms up, forget any gymnastics she would have to do. Then again, this wasn't Quinn's first rodeo. She'd been injured and sore plenty of times this year and still managed to make it through practices. Plus, Santana always gave her advice on what to say if she wasn't performing up to Sue's standards. Coach Sylvester thought Quinn was the best Cheerio since Santana and had the potential to be even better. Quinn put her all into the team. She liked doing it, she was good at it, and she could channel all of her aggression into the stunts and routines. She prayed her shoulder wouldn't bother her too badly.

She was jolted from her thoughts by the sound of the bell and headed to the gym where they practiced in the winter months. She joined the group, front and center, and stretched out to Coach Sylvester's barking orders. Practice went fairly quickly and normally and her bruised collar bone wasn't too much of a nuisance, though Sue did call her out for not having sharp enough arms. Quinn silently berated herself and pushed through the pain to make her arms the tightest and sharpest they could be.

She was up in the air holding a pose when a flash of something caught her eye outside the gymnasium door. She could have sworn it was her father that just walked past the gym. Quinn suddenly lost balance.

"Whoa!"

She landed in the arms of her stunt group.

"You're supposed to fly UP in the air Q, not DOWN! Sloppy. On that sour note, hit the showers," yelled Sue from the top row of the bleachers.

"You okay, Quinn?" asked Kitty, the only other freshman on the squad.

Quinn nodded and tightened her pony. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine, thanks. Just lost my balance."

The other girl gave her a pat on the arm and jogged off towards the locker room. Santana and Brittany made their way over to Quinn.

"Hey Q, you may have fallen but you did it with a ton of grace, and that's something Sue is going to love for sure," said Brittany with one of her famous encouraging smiles.

Quinn kept her eye on the door of the gym. "Thanks Britt. Um, Santana can I talk to you for a sec?"

Santana exchanged a look with Brittany and just like that Brittany understood and headed toward the locker room to give the sisters their privacy. She waited for them to be finished before going inside to change.

"What's up?" asked Santana. She had never quite seen Quinn so distracted. Her sister remained focused on the doors to the gym. "Quinn?"

"He's here," she said. Santana's brow furrowed.

"Who's here?"

For the first time, Quinn's eyes connected with Santana's. "Dad."

"What? Where?"

Quinn watched as Santana's eyes swiftly darted around the room. "I-I don't know.."

"What are you talking about? Why would say you saw-"

"I did! I did see him. I- I'm almost positive it was him. He- he walked right past the door.."

Quinn's body was starting to heat up. She didn't do well with surprise appearances from her father.

 _Nine-year-old Quinn sat in her third grade class. It was Halloween and her teacher, like many others, held a Halloween pizza party for the class. Everyone's parent helped them cook or bake a treat to bring in for everyone to enjoy. There were eyeball decorated Munchkins, pumpkin shaped cookies, and all different sorts of candy. Shelby had told Quinn for days she would help her bake something, but just never got around to it. When Quinn had asked her the night before her mother snapped._

 _"Mom? If it's okay, do you think we can make something for class tomorrow now?"_

 _"Quinn! You're really being a pest about this! Rachel needs my attention. I can't let her roam over all over the house unsupervised just so you can have something for school tomorrow! You have two parents. Ask your father."_

 _When Quinn had asked her father he was in a drunken stupor half asleep on the recliner. He reached into his pocket and gave her a dollar. Quinn, knowing she would need more than just a dollar, took the ten dollar bill that was peeking out of his pocket. He must've meant to give her that, right?_

 _Santana accompanied Quinn to the bodega on the corner and Quinn laid eyes on the most fantastic witch shaped sugar cookies. They came in a pack of 24 and she couldn't have more excited. Her class had 21 students and she bet no one would have anything as good to eat as these witches looked._

 _She sat in class at her party, slightly upset that her mother couldn't attend the party because she didn't feel well, but nonetheless thrilled about the cookies she had brought in. The classroom was abuzz with parents and children talking, eating, and sharing treats when she heard her teacher, Ms. Miller greet a visitor at the door._

 _"Can I help you?" she asked kindly._

 _"Hello, yes, I'm Quinn's father. How are you?"_

 _"Mr. Lopez! What a lovely surprise! Quinn told me both of her parents were working today and couldn't make it!" Quinn turned bright red and froze. Why was her dad here? School was only ever a place where Mom came. She was happy here. The last person she ever wanted to see in her sanctuary was her father, and her teacher just unknowingly relayed to him a flat out lie._

 _"Oh, really?" said Leroy not missing a beat. A charming smile displayed on his face as he stepped into the classroom and over to Quinn. "Quinn, baby, did you really think I'd miss this?" He ruffled her blonde hair, and Quinn adjusted her headband. Ms. Miller smiled and went to mingle with some other students and parents._

 _Quinn didn't miss the fake smile Leroy kept on his face as her teacher walked away. She also didn't miss the way his eyes roamed up and down Ms. Miller's backside._

 _"Quinn," Leroy said. "Daddy has to use the bathroom. Can you show me where it is?"_

 _She slowly got up. Leroy grabbed her hand and squeezed it a bit too tightly. Once they were out of the classroom the real Leroy came out. His voice hushed yet violent._

 _"You little cunt. How dare you steal money from the man who provides for you."_

 _"What? No! Daddy I asked you and you gave me money and I-"_

 _"I gave you a dollar. Who knew I was raising a thief. You took more than I gave you."_

 _"But one dollar isn't enough for anything!"_

 _He squeezed her ear tight. Quinn bent her head to the side in pain._

 _"You could've gotten a piece of candy like a normal kid and split it with the class."_

 _Despite how rough Leroy was being in the empty hallway of school where anyone could come out and see the assault, Quinn fought back._

 _"Normal kids parents help them make something! Not give them money to buy something else!"_

 _He smacked her across the face and the sound echoed. Quinn began to cry, unable to keep her tears at bay any longer._

 _"We're going home," he said with finality. Quinn felt glued to the floor._

 _Leroy left Quinn in the hallway and went back to her classroom to alert Ms. Miller that all the junk food had given Quinn a stomachache and that he was going to take her home. The teacher put together a bag of treats to send home with Quinn anyway and Leroy thanked her for her kindness. Upon exiting the classroom he tossed the treats into the nearest trashcan, tossed Quinn her jacket, and forcefully grabbed her hand to walk home. The beating she received that day when no one else was home was one of the worst Quinn had ever received. She was absent from school the next two days._

"Are you okay? Quinn, are you sure it was him?"

Quinn blinked back into reality.

"I- yeah. It had to be," she said sounding more unsure of herself. "Why would he be at school, Santana? He wouldn't come unless he had something to say or unless one of us really fucked up. Did you do anything? Did I? Do you think he knows about this morning?"

She felt her sister's arms on her shoulders keeping her calm. It was rare for Quinn to get worked up like this. "Hey, stop. No. I highly doubt he knows about this morning and I know neither of us have done anything he would deem punishable. Maybe it wasn't him. Go with Britt to change and I'll quick check the halls and outside. I'm sure it's nothing. Probably just someone else's dad," Santana said. "Go wash up, you smell."

With a quick 'okay' to her sister, Quinn jogged over to where Brittany stood outside the locker room. The older blonde looked at her with some concern.

"You okay? That looked a little intense. Are you hurt?"

Quinn put on that infamous Quinn mask. "No, no not at all. Just wanted to get San's opinion of what I did wrong in the stunt. She's always brutally honest."

Brittany looked skeptically at the younger girl. "Are you sure? Where'd Santana go?"

"Yes! I'm sure. I just said I was fine," she snapped, then retreated. "Sorry. Today's just been a really weird day. She went to..ummm.. grab a different shirt from her locker," she said. She wanted to change the topic. "Are you guys coming with me to get Rachel from Drama Club or are you.. doing.. other things?" she asked with a knowing smile. She wanted to act natural and play it cool and not have her outsides appear as paranoid as her insides currently were.

Brittany laughed. "It's okay. But actually, yeah. I think me and San had other plans for the next hour or so."

Quinn nodded. "Yeah, I figured."

"So let me ask you this," Brittany started. "Are you like.. okay with me and Santana?"

"What do you mean?"

Brittany shuffled her feet. Quinn may only be fourteen but Brittany knew her long enough to know that the younger girl could be quite intimidating. She also knew how close she and Santana were and wanted to know where Quinn's thoughts were regarding her sister being into girls, namely her.

"Well, I mean you obviously know we like to, you know, have a little fun. It's pretty serious and I guess I just want to know if you're okay with that. She's your big sister after all."

Quinn really wished this conversation could be happening at some other time. Truth be told, Quinn couldn't care less if Santana was into guys, girls, or seven legged frogs. At this point she only cared about whether or not her father was currently in the building.

"It's fine, Brittany. It feels like I've known you forever and honestly you make Santana the happiest I've ever seen her. Just try not tongue her in front of me, okay?"

Quinn could practically see the relief in Brittany's face. "Deal," Brittany said. "Don't be so hard on yourself Quinn. You're really something special. You have a lot of talent so don't worry so much about perfection."

Quinn laughed internally. Her life literally depended on her being as perfect as possible, and she was always automatically ten steps behind Santana and Rachel because she wasn't even Leroy's kid.

"Yeah," Quinn said awkwardly. They stood in a semi-comfortable silence for another minute or so when Santana came back into the gym.

"Hey you," Brittany said. "Find your shirt?"

"Huh?" Santana asked, clearly confused. "What shirt?"

"Oh, Quinn said you ran to your locker to grab a shirt to change into."

Quinn made eye contact with her sister and Santana seemed to understand. "Oh! No, I was going to see if Sue had my Cheerios t-shirt that I left here on Friday. I don't know why you thought I was going to my locker," she said looking at Quinn. "Anyway, Sue wasn't in her office and I didn't see her in any of the hallways either," she said with a pointed look at her little sister. "So let's go change. I'll see if I can catch Sue tomorrow."

"Are you- are you sure you didn't see her?" asked Quinn. Brittany watched the sister's exchanged with curiosity. They were acting very weird over a simple discussion about Sue Sylvester and a t-shirt.

"Yeah, Q. I'm like, totally positive. It's all good, promise. Relax," she said.

Quinn still felt uneasy. She knew she had seen him. Brown, oversized leather-jacket-wearing piece of scum. She knew her eyes hadn't played a trick on her. Had they? Maybe all the nerves she didn't feel this morning were catching up with her.

She finished changing and left her sister and Brittany to do whatever it is they were planning on doing in the locker room. She bundled up in her jacket with her hat and scarf and went out to brave the nasty New York cold. It had begun snowing and the winds had to be at least 30 miles per hour. She was freezing. After what felt like forever, she trudged up to Rachel's elementary school and welcomed the warmth that greeted her on the inside.

She entered the auditorium and Rachel's play director got the little brunette's attention and told her she could go now that Quinn was here.

"Hey Rach, how was it?"

Rachel beamed as she put on her own jacket, hat-with a pom pom of course-, and scarf. "Great! I don't want to toot my own horn or anything but I think I'm going to be the best butterfly in the history of second grade performances."

"Of course you think that," said Quinn. "Not too sound too much like Santana, but make sure your scarf is on tight and your hat covers your ears. It's freezing out. I think I might hail us a cab."

"Kay," said the little girl. "Where is Santana?"

"She's staying at school to hang out with Brittany," Quinn said as they exited the building. Quinn stuck out her hand and hoped for an empty cab to stop soon.

"Why?"

"Why what?" Quinn asked.

"Why is she hanging out with Brittany?" Rachel asked. She made shapes in the snow with her feet.

"Cause she can," Quinn asked. She was getting irritated by the cold.

"But why is she?"

"Oh my God, Rachel. Why do you ask so many questions? They're friends! You have friends that you play with, right? Is this a new concept to you? They're just hanging out!" Finally a cab pulled up to the curb and Quinn opened the door. "Get in," she said to Rachel. "68th and Columbus," she told the driver. They were only a few blocks and an avenue away from home, but Quinn was relieved to be out of the cold.

Rachel piped up once they were settled in the back of the cab. "I'm sorry I ask a lot questions," she said sadly.

Quinn hated that she felt guilty. Rachel was flat out annoying, Quinn shouldn't feel bad for snapping at her. Big sisters always snap at little sisters. That was an unwritten rule of life. Still, Santana and Rachel were all she had and she didn't want Rachel to hate her.

"No, I'm sorry. You're fine. I was mean," Quinn said.

"Are you on your period?" Rachel asked with a whisper so the driver couldn't hear them.

"Rachel!" Quinn laughed. Rachel laughed too. When Quinn got her period last year Rachel had discovered bloody pad in the trash and almost called 911 to report an injury. Once Santana explained to her what it was, she had been fascinated and couldn't get enough of the concept of menstruation. She thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

Rachel was still laughing when the cab pulled up in front of their building. Quinn paid him with the cash she always made sure she had on her and the two made their way inside and to the third floor. For most people, coming home was the best feeling, for Quinn, her chest got tight and body always felt so much heavier. The air always felt thick. Rachel didn't mind it as much. She wasn't aware of just how bad things were. She, of course, never liked the sound of her father yelling or hitting her sisters or mother, but she never knew life without it. Her mother said he did it out of love. Maybe it was just a messed up way of keeping his kids safe. Still, she always made sure to be as perfect as possible for him.

Quinn took at her keys and went to open the door. Mondays were her favorite because they had an extra hour before Leroy came home from work. She was surprised to find the door unlocked. She peered inside and the entire living was destroyed. There was broken glass all over from what Quinn recognized to be two vases they had on display, couch cushions were overturned, there was paper scattered about and the TV was left on.

She quickly but quietly closed the door. And turned to Rachel. "Let's go downstairs," she said. It was more of a demand than anything else.

"Huh?" asked Rachel. Quinn grabbed her arm and pulled her to the elevator. "Ow! You're hurting me!"

At those words Quinn immediately let go of her sister's arm and apologized. "Sorry Rach. We just need to go call Santana."

"Why? What's happened? Why can't we go inside and call her?"

The elevator dinged and both girls got inside, both still bundled in their winter gear.

"Because something is wrong. I saw Dad at school today and I think there was a fight at home. We're just going to stay in the lobby."

Rachel was silent and scared the rest of the way down. When they made it to the lobby Quinn asked the doorman if he'd seen either of her parents. He responded that he'd seen their father in and out a few times that day but hadn't seen him again in well over two hours.

Quinn knew this was bad. Her father was out all night and didn't return home until the next day, clearly didn't go to work, the house was a mess, and she had no idea if her mother had slept through it all or was part of what was happening.

She quickly dialed Santana's cell praying she would pick up. She answered on the fourth ring with a slight giggle to her voice and breathless. "Q, you have the worst timing. What's up?"

Quinn motioned for Rachel to wait inside their building and Quinn went outside on the steps of the apartment.

"San, you need to come home right now."

She could hear Santana's voice change to one of full focus and concern. "What happened?"

"I don't know. I got home and the house is a mess and I'm downstairs and I'm scared. I don't know where he is Santana. I don't know where Mom is. I just looked inside and everything's a disaster. P-please come home. I don't know what to do. I-I need you.." she said frantic. Her face becoming red again.

"Okay, I'm coming right now," Santana answered. Quinn could hear her fumbling around, presumably grabbing her jacket. "Do you have Rachel?"

"Yeah, she's inside the lobby. I just-please- just please get here now. Take a cab," Quinn had been pacing so much that there was now a slab of visible concrete through the snow.

"I'm coming right now, Quinn. I'm gonna be there as fast as I can. Listen to me," she said firmly. "Stay in the lobby. Don't go upstairs and don't let Rachel out of your sight, okay? Stay together and I'm coming. It's gonna be fine. I'm sure he just freaked again," Santana said. Quinn could tell she was trying to play it down so Quinn herself wouldn't have a panic attack but she was hardly convincing herself.

"Okay. Please text me the whole time home, okay? Please come," Quinn cried into the phone.

"I promise. Stay downstairs," and with that Santana hung up on the conversation.

Quinn took a few deep breaths so that Rachel wouldn't see her totally lose it. She went back inside and saw Rachel sitting on the loveseat kicking her feet back and forth and staring at Quinn.

"Quinn, what's going on?"

"I don't know Rachel. Santana's coming and she'll tell us what to do. We just have to wait. It's gonna be alright."

"Is someone hurt?"

"I DON'T KNOW! I don't know Rachel! Please! Just.. just please. Please." Quinn didn't know what she asking for, but it's all that came out of her mouth. Her heart was racing. She prided herself on trying to be as independent and as self reliable as possible, but right now all she wanted was Santana's guidance. Quinn didn't know how to be the protector or how to make everything alright like she could. She wanted to give Rachel comfort and put her before herself like Santana always did for both of them. Instead, she was often jealous of Rachel and easily annoyed. She had even pulled Rachel forcefully by the arm just a few minutes ago. She knew children of abusive parents often turned out to be abusers themselves and she was seeing just how like Leroy she was becoming. She needed Santana to make it stop.

"Please, San..."

 **Hello again! Thanks for the reviews, yet again. They really do make a difference. I know these first few chapters have come quickly, but that won't always be the case. I've had the beginning outlined for awhile, so now that I've actually taken the plunge and posted, the first few chapters are coming pretty quickly. However, eventually I am aiming for an update once per week or once every two weeks. I work full time and life, I'm sure will get in the way, but I plan on sticking to weekly or every other weekly updates.**

 **Please don't forget to REVIEW!**

 **I also wanted to take a second to respond to reviewers from chapter two! I really appreciate you all so much. I know fellow authors know how big a difference reviews make.**

**\- Thank you for reading! I hope you'll continue to love it!**

 **bicuriosego** **\- Thanks! There will definitely be Rachel-Brittany interactions in the future, so stick around!**

 **Guest** **\- First, I'm glad you think I'm a good writer! I'm far out of school and have never really written anything other than what was required for classes. I'm just a big reader! I understand what you mean about Rachel being the youngest in a lot of fics. I've read several where she is the youngest and am often turned off by them as well. For this story, however, Rachel had the only personality to fit what was needed of the character. If I'm being frank, Rachel Berry was one of my least favorite characters on Glee altogether. But, she's important and special to me nonetheless. I hope you'll continue to read!**

 **beaner008** **\- Wow! Thank you! I have to say, your Open Wounds is one of my all time favorite fanfictions EVER! To see you review this little story is a big deal! Santana is definitely the glue and Quinn is certainly feeling victimized. You may be on to something with Rachel but you'll have to read to find out. I hope you'll do me two favors: one, keep reading and two, treat us with an update to your story! I've missed it so.**

 **WritingForMySoul12** **\- Thank you so much! I appreciate it!**

 **Thank you again for reading this story! I'd love to hear what you're thinking in a review :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Not for the first time in her life, Santana cursed New York City traffic. She half considered getting out of the cab and running through the snow because it might get her home quicker. Her phone began to vibrate and she looked down at the screen expecting to see Quinn's name. Instead, it read _Dad_ and her blood ran cold. She answered immediately.

"Where are you? What's going on?" she hissed.

"You will stay quiet. And you will make sure the other two stay quiet. Do you understand?"

Santana wanted to say so much, ask so many questions. Before she could give her father any type of answer, he continued.

"Don't try any tricks Santana, you all need to stay quiet. First one to break loses,"

 _"First one to break loses," said Leroy._

 _Leroy had fastened both seven-year-old Santana and four-year-old Quinn to kitchen chairs using two of his strongest belts. Shelby coincidentally had to stay late at her new job that night and years later when she was older, Santana would wonder if she was really just saving herself._

 _She was only seven, but she knew everyone had to be home by 6:00 sharp, otherwise her Daddy would be extremely angry. Her mother came home from work at 6:07 once and Santana listened as Leroy filled the bathtub with water and held her mother's head under the water, bringing her up to breathe just in time. She could never forget that sound. She made sure to grab her little sister and sit in their closet. She covered Quinn's small ears so she wouldn't have to listen, her big hazel eyes staring up in confusion._

 _They were being punished now because they had gone to the grocery store with their mother yesterday and came home a few minutes past 6:00. Santana was relieved when Leroy didn't punish anyone yesterday. She thought maybe he just scolded their mother and now she knew her lesson, but she was wrong._

 _Her dad had told them that they were old enough to read a clock and therefore there was no excuse for their mother to bring them home late. He said they were just as much at fault as their mother was. He decided that since the girls liked to play games so much, he would play one now. He would smack each girl back and forth with a wooden ruler, and the first one to cry or scream or "break" would be the loser and suffer a greater punishment._

 _Santana held out her left hand as far as she could and hoped Quinn would be able to reach it. If she could hold her sister's hand Santana was sure it would make both of them feel stronger. Leroy saw Santana's semi-outstretched hand and swatted it hard with the ruler._

 _"Anxious to get started already, are we Santana?"_

 _The hard swat to her hand had stung but she vowed not to give her father the satisfaction of crying._

 _"Quinn," he asked the blonde tauntingly, "do you know how to tell time?"_

 _Santana watched as Quinn kept her eyes downcast. Even at four she had learned to control her breathing in a tense situation._

 _"I-I'm learning.. how..," she said in a small voice. The sound that echoed around the apartment made Santana jump out of her seat, only to be held in it by the tight black belt. He had hit her sister across the face with the ruler._

 _"You are four years old!" he spat in her face. "Do you know your numbers?"_

 _Quinn didn't answer. Santana could see her holding in a sob. SMACK. "DO. YOU. KNOW. YOUR. NUMBERS?!"_

 _Each word was punctuated with a hit to each of her thighs, both of her upper arms, and the top of her head._

 _"Yes"_

 _Quinn whispered the answer and Santana could see the first few tears threaten to fall. What Santana did next was pure reflex._

 _"Dad, stop! PLEASE! She's just a baby! She doesn't know time yet! Please! It's not her fault!" she tried with all of her power to cry as hard as she could. It wasn't difficult. She wouldn't subject her sister to this. If this was really a game, and she cried, he would punish her instead._

 _"Look! I'm crying Dad. I'm crying, my hand is burning. You hurt it so bad!"_

 _She watched as he locked eyes with her. Tears were pouring down her face. She knew she could have held off longer, but she wasn't going to let him hit Quinn like that. She hadn't even started Kindergarten yet._

 _"You're pathetic Santana. After all these years and you still can't control yourself? You're a disgrace," he said approaching Quinn's chair. He roughly undid the belt constricting her. "Don't expect your sister to fight your battles. Get out of my face."_

 _She watched, still belted to the chair, as Quinn's tiny body got off the chair, ran into their shared bedroom, and shut the door._

 _He undid the belt restricting Santana and grabbed her by a fistful of hair. He all but dragged her to the bathroom and turned on the tub, never letting go of her hair. Santana's heart pounded. She knew what a full tub meant. He was going to drown her. He was going to repeat the exact same thing she had heard him do to her mother except this time he'd probably kill her._

 _She watched as steam filled the room from the temperature of the water. He got a better grip on her hair and without any notice, thrust her head into the water. Santana couldn't breathe. The water was overwhelmingly hot. Her body was so small and thin giving him complete control of her movements. She tried to push against the hand that held her but it was no use. After what felt like a lifetime, he brought her head up out of the water. She gasped for air and braced herself for another deep plunge. It came before she was ready and she coughed while under the water. She had no one. She wanted to cry and scream for help. She prayed for Quinn to stay in their room just as much as she prayed for her mother to walk in the door and save her. It had to have only been a few seconds before she was brought to the surface again. She sobbed. She didn't care if that's what got her here in the first place, she couldn't control it. She full on sobbed._

 _"Stand up," he commanded. The seven-year-old shakily got to her feet and faced him. He forcefully took off her clothes and spanked her bare bottom with a hairbrush. "Maybe now you'll think twice about coming home late. And if you tell anyone, Santana, they'll take everything away from you. They'll take your mother and her bastard baby and take them away. You'll be alone forever. I know you don't want that. So just listen to Daddy, and everything will be alright. Okay, sweetheart?"_

 _Santana eyed him curiously. It was as if he suddenly felt remorse for what he had just done to his daughter._

 _"I'm sorry sweetheart. You know Daddy loves you more than anything right? You're my little princess. Hmm?" She nodded her head slowly in understanding. He handed her a towel that hung on the nearby rack. "Now go get ready for bed. I'll say goodnight in a few minutes," he said._

 _She was still breathing deeply and catching her breath as she opened the door and walked into her room. She heard music coming from the closet. She peered through the crack and saw her sister continuously pressing the paw of a puppy stuffed animal that played songs. It played the same few notes over and over again each time Quinn pressed his paw._

 _She let her sister be and changed into warm pajamas. She didn't regret choosing to break. She would do it every time._

By the time Santana snapped back into the present, her father had long since hung up and she was rounding the corner to her family's building. " _First one to break loses"_ had become a phrase whose consequences over the years became more and more intense. Santana made sure it was her every time. She had gotten used to it. She wasn't sure if her father had caught on to the fact that she did it to prevent Shelby or her sisters from suffering whatever it meant. She had done for ten years, if it hand't killed her yet, she wasn't going to stop now.

She paid the cab driver and didn't leave a tip. She was only semi-aware of his grumbled, disappointed voice as she got out of the car and headed up the entry steps to the lobby where she saw Rachel sitting on the loveseat and Quinn hovering close by.

"Santana!" Rachel exclaimed and got up to give her sister a hug. She spoke a mile a minute into Santana's jacket. Her voice muffled. "Louise came in and she saw me and Quinn and she asked if everything was okay and we said yes and she said are we sure cause she saw Daddy and he looked messy and she thought we were moving furniture around upstairs and he said everything was okay but normally he will ask her how her day is and he didn't ask her so she was concerned and wanted to know why we were down here and Quinn said we were just waiting for you cause we had a surprise but really there isn't a surprise and we just had to lie to her and Louise is so nice and I felt bad lying because I don't even know the truth! What's going on?"

Santana pulled Rachel away so she wasn't clinging to her coat and wiped her hair out of her face. "I don't know Rachel. I only know what Quinn told me which was that the house is a mess and looked scary. Don't worry about Louise, she's just nosy and you didn't do anything wrong. I don't know where Dad is or what happened, but just stay calm, I'm sure everything is going to be fine." She turned to Quinn. "Please stay down here with her, I'm going to go upstairs and -"

"No way!" Quinn protested. "I'm going with you. I'm not staying down here."

"Quinn!" Santana said quickly. She spoke quietly so that Rachel was out of earshot. "Did she see the house?" Quinn shook her head no. "Then you brought her down here for a reason right? She can't see whatever it looks like up there. It'll mess with her and she'll freak out and if both of us go you know she's going to follow us. Just stay. I'll come back in five minutes," she said seriously. She didn't bother telling them their father had called her and threatened them. It wasn't a factor right now. She needed to go see the damage upstairs and see if she could put any of it back in order before Leroy returned home. She had a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach, though, as she remembered her father's demand to 'stay quiet'. "I'm serious. Do not follow me. Please."

She knew Quinn didn't want to, but she silently agreed to let Santana go. Santana was grateful because as much as she needed to keep Rachel downstairs, she wanted to keep Quinn down there too. She watched as Quinn grabbed Rachel and led her back to the sofa and attempted to distract her with conversation about her performance as the second grade's best butterfly.

Even though she knew the stairs would be quicker, Santana decided to take the elevator. It gave her more time to process and prepare herself to see whatever mess her father had made. When she exited on the third floor and made her way to 3H, she opened the unlocked door and didn't blame Quinn for immediately heading back downstairs.

The couch cushions were strewn about the apartment, the coffee table was knocked over, glass was all over the floor, and the door to her parents room was off one of its hinges. Her mind went into overdrive about what happened, why, and how she was supposed to explain the noise that surely occurred to their neighbors.

She walked further into the apartment to look for any serious damage. So far, she was grateful it wasn't anything that couldn't swept up or put back together. She walked gingerly into her parents room and stopped in the doorway. The bed was unmade and the mirror that hung above the dresser was smashed. She heart sank as her eyes fell to the dresser top. Every frame of any photo of the three girls was broken and the photo inside was ripped to pieces which now littered the floor. Then on the floor she noticed tiny red droplets of what had to be blood. She felt her palms begin to get clammier than they already were and begin to sweat.

She turned around and quickly made her way to her own bedroom which she was surprised to find untouched. She needed to know whose blood was in the bedroom. ' _Stay quiet'_ her father had said. Santana prayed she knew what he wanted her to stay quiet about. Destroying the house? Potentially fleeing the country for being found out he beat his wife and kids? Did he he kill his wife? _No,_ Santana thought. He couldn't have done that. Could he? But fuck, where was her mother? Her heart quickened as her feet involuntarily led her to the bathroom door which was ajar. She slowly opened the door not sure of what she would greet her on the inside.

She let out an immediate sob and dropped to her knees by the tub. Shelby lay in the tub fully clothed in a t-shirt and shorts, odd for a winter day. It appeared that she was once laying in water but it had since drained. There was blood oozing from an obvious head wound and Santana could see what looked like restraint marks on her hands and wrists. There were scratches to her mother's arms, legs, and face. In that moment, Santana could have sworn she looked whiter than the snow that was falling outside. The sharp contrast of the red blood that continued to drip down her mother's face made Santana's stomach churn. She had no idea if her mother was even still alive.

Suddenly, she heard the front door creak open and before Santana could make her way out of the bathroom to stop the intruder, the intruder met her at the bathroom door and let out a gut-wrenching scream. It went right through Santana.

"Quinn! Stop! Stop! Shh, it's okay."

"NO! MOM! San-she-Mom-" Quinn's own stomach churned and she managed to get her over the sink just in time to empty the contents of her stomach.

Santana had no idea what she was feeling. She should be angry, scared, confused, clueless, and she was all of those things. Somewhere in her mind she was all of those things but in the moment she felt numb. Reflexes took over.

"Why the FUCK did you come up here?" She knelt over the sink where Quinn was and was nose to nose with her sister. "WHY?"

Quinn's eyes were focused past Santana and on the potentially lifeless body of their mother.

"I TOLD YOU QUINN, I TOLD YOU TO STAY THE FUCK DOWNSTAIRS! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? FOR ONCE IN YOUR GODFORSAKEN ACCIDENTAL LIFE, LISTEN TO SOMEONE WHO HAS YOUR BEST INTERESTS IN MIND, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"

Quinn never met Santana's eyes and Santana wondered if she had heard her at all. Maybe she was too much in shock. Either way, Santana decided she didn't have time to put up with Quinn.

"Either stay or go, but make yourself fucking useful," Santana spat as she felt for a pulse in her battered mother. As soon as she felt it she gathered strength she didn't know she had and did her best to pull her mother out of the damp tub. As she turned to Quinn for help she realized her sister was no longer there. Santana wasn't sure if she was surprised, disappointed, happy or all three.

All Cheerios went through extensive first aid training, including CPR. Once she got her mother situated on the floor of the bathroom she tried her hardest to bring her back to consciousness. _Is CPR even what she needs?_ After a few more failed attempts and an unknown amount of time, Santana heard sirens in the background. In her heart and gut she knew the sirens were for her mother and she knew Quinn had the made the call. Santana kicked the bathroom cabinets at the realization that it didn't once cross her mind to do so.

She held her mother's cold hand in her own clammy one, hoping the contact would do something, and wept. Santana cried all of the pent up emotions she held from what seemed like over ten years. She was alone in her own personal hell with her half dead mother, a father who had hung multiple threats over her head and had now disappeared, and two younger sisters downstairs who she had no idea how to deal with. She cried and cried and punched the floor as the sound of the sirens grew closer.

Sirens meant help. Sirens meant questions. Sirens meant answers she had to give but didn't know how. Sirens meant attention. Sirens meant professionals and legal teams and phone calls. Sirens meant saving her mother. Sirens meant saving her mother who may not even want to be saved. Sirens were all Santana heard and all she could think about as she curled up next to her mother on floor. She wanted to freeze time. She didn't want to move forward. She wanted to lay on the floor and freeze time so she could go back and undo anything that caused her life to turn out to be what it currently was. She was drowning in the sea of life and the riptide was taking her down quicker than she could control. It felt like every time someone through her a life vest she could never hold onto it long enough to put it on and float to safety. She continued to drown, consistently unable to save her family or herself.

The sirens stopped and lights flashed outside. The help she had both dreaded and needed had finally arrived.

 **Hello! I hope you're all doing well. Thanks, as always, for reading LFTL! Please don't forget to take a second and REVIEW! I'd love to hear from you. From this point, things will start picking up and we will propelled into what this story is really about and will entail. Again, things will pick up, but this is a slow story where things, people, characters, etc. will develop over time. Each character is complex and has depth that will be explored. Nobody is as simple as they may seem. So please stay tuned!**

 **Guest- I'm sorry this did seem to take about a week to update! Hopefully this chapter reached your expectations!**

 **Marleyharper- I'd love to see a change in Shelby too, her daughters deserve it. But is it too late? We'll see!**

 **HateKurtHummel4Ever- Glad you love young!Rachel. She's a key player in this story! I hope you liked this chapter as well!**

 **Sarah11650- Thanks for the review! Santana has definitely bared a huge portion of Leroy's anger. As the chapters progress there will be more memories and flashbacks and even present day moments where we will see what Santana went/goes through. But don't worry, she's an amazing big sister but she isn't made of steel!**

 **beaner008- Thank you for the review! Neighbors were touched upon in this chapter. Fights and arguments have definitely gone unheard. It will come into play! Rachel too. Stay tuned!**

 **bproofmgmt- Thank you so much!**

 **Guest- So happy you like the story. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!**

 **sol- Thank you! I love the girls as a sibling unit as well. Fun to write!**

 **liljunghwang- Hi! Thank you so much. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **Thanks again everyone for the kind words and reviews! Keep them coming! And Happy Easter to all who celebrate!**


	5. Chapter 5

Rachel sat impatiently on the yellow loveseat in the lobby, her legs swinging underneath her unable to touch the floor. She had yelled at Quinn when she took off upstairs after Santana specifically told her not to go, but Quinn refused to listen. Rachel knew better than to go against what Santana told them. Her oldest sister always knew how to handle a situation and Rachel trusted her, no matter how much the curiosity was killing her.

Louise had said her father looked messy when she saw him, but that didn't make sense. Her father was always put together. She looked around the lobby and no one seemed concerned or out of place. The doorman, Joe, looked like it was just another day on the job, other residents of the building came and went, and if something was wrong people would be panicky or rushing.

Fast, thundering footsteps coming down the stairwell interrupted Rachel's perusal of the lobby. Quinn dashed by Rachel and out the front door to the street, the hat she still had on her head flying off in the process and laying forgotten on the floor. Rachel immediately stood up and ran to the door. "Quinn?!" Rachel heard the panic in her own voice and couldn't fight the anxiety of the situation anymore.

"Hang on kiddo," Joe said holding a hand out to prevent Rachel from heading outside. They both kept their eyes trained on Quinn who Rachel only now noticed was on the phone. She was once again pacing through the fresh snow that had fallen on the sidewalk. Quinn's erratic behavior was not something Rachel was used to seeing. Rachel was used to either an angry Quinn who would pick fights with her or a mellow, calm Quinn who always seemed to have control, even after an encounter with Leroy. This nervous, anxious Quinn crying on the phone was very new to Rachel. Quinn didn't do emotions like this and her nervous energy seemed to be seeping into Rachel's every pour.

"Joe, who is she on the phone with? Why is she crying?" she asked, eyes still trained on her sister.

The older Italian man looked back and forth between the young teen outside on the phone and the little girl next to him. He had seen Leroy today, but nothing felt out of the ordinary. All five members of the Lopez family were some of his favorites to work for. They were always friendly and polite. Leroy was a hard working man with pride for his three daughters, he hoped the man was alright. Taking in the state of the blonde outside, he was beginning think things were more than likely not alright. "I don't know, Sweetie. You stay inside alright? I'm going to see if she needs help."

Rachel could only nod. She watched Joe step outside and put a hand on Quinn's shoulder which immediately she shrugged off. She hung up the phone, barely registering Joe's presence and pushed the door back inside the building.

"Quinn, what happened? Please tell me what happened. I'm scared!" Rachel cried. Tears began to fall from her large brown eyes. The confusion and anxiety taking over. Rachel was taken aback when Quinn pulled her in for a hug and held it. Rachel returned the hug and began to sob into Quinn's coat at the show of emotion. She didn't know what was happening but now knew it had to be bad. She felt Quinn kiss the top of her head and grab her hand. Her sister led her back over to the loveseat and sat them both down.

"I don't..." Quinn began. She saw Joe listening from across the lobby wearing a look on his face and concern and uncertainty. She lowered her voice. "I don't know what happened, but I know that its bad. And-and you have to be strong okay?"

Rachel noticed the far away look in Quinn's eyes. The gears in the blonde's head were turning fast, a million different thoughts raced through her mind.

"I want Mom. W-Where's Mommy?"

At this question, Quinn's breath caught in her throat and she let out a small sob, but refused to let tears fall in front of Rachel. "She's upstairs.. um.. San is with her, okay? She's hurt but she's gonna be fine," Quinn said softly. Her voice was so low Rachel had to focus to hear her.

"She's hurt?" Rachel said out loud. It was more of a confirmation to herself than it was a question.

They sat in a few seconds of solemn silence before the sound of ambulance sirens could be heard in the distance. "Girls?" asked Joe hesitantly. He needed and wanted to help the young girls, but he didn't know what else to do since Quinn had already called 911. "Did you find your dad? Did you call him? Does he know what's going on or that you need help?"

Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but Quinn ever the quick thinker- cut her off before she could start. "I called him upstairs. He finally answered and told me to call 911 and that he'd meet us at the hospital. He's probably already there," she told Joe, the lie falling from her lips with ease. It was the first time she'd made eye contact with anyone since discovering her mother upstairs.

Joe nodded and gave a sad smile and Rachel made a questioning face at Quinn. Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand hoping she'd understand that Quinn didn't want her to say anything.

"We need Santana," Quinn said softly walking towards the front door. Her palms sweaty and heart still racing.

"But she's upstairs," Rachel offered clinging to Quinn's forest green coat. It was soft and it soothed her.

"I know, Rachel!" The older girl snapped. "But I don't know what I'm supposed to tell the paramedic people.."

Rachel looked confused. "What about the truth? That's what they say to do at school. We always tell the truth to a grownup who can help,"

Quinn wanted to break down. The ambulance was rounding the corner, Santana was upstairs, Rachel didn't understand the threats that their father hung over their heads or what would happen to them if she told someone what really went on in that apartment, and she had no control over any of it. For as long as she could remember she swallowed her emotions and learned to put on a mask, with one deep breath Quinn's mask was back on and she went into survival mode.

"Listen to me Rachel. They're going to ask questions about what happened and we don't know what happened, so you can tell them the truth: you don't know. But.. but if they ask about Dad you can't tell them what he does okay?" Hazel pleaded with brown ones.

"Why?" Rachel shuffled her feet.

The ambulance arrived outside and paramedics started heading for the door. Just before the barrier between outside and inside was broken, Quinn hissed a "promise me!" to Rachel, and the younger girl ferociously nodded her head.

"We were notified about a middle aged woman needing immediate attention on the third floor?" A man no older than thirty chose his words carefully as he asked the doorman for help, as to not upset the two young girls nearby.

Joe scurried into action. "Yes, yes. 3H. Please hurry. I believe her oldest daughter is with her," he said, directing the men with the stretcher to the elevator. The group of paramedics hustled over and were out of sight as quickly as they had arrived. One remained behind to speak with Quinn and Rachel.

"Hi guys," she spoke gently. "Did one of you guys make the emergency call?" She too was young, and her brunette hair fell in a pin straight ponytail.

"I did," answered Quinn as she put an arm around her younger sister who remained clinging to her.

"Can you tell me a little bit of what happened? Do you know how your mother hurt herself?"

Quinn looked at the ground. She really wanted Santana here to answer these questions. She prayed everything upstairs would be taken care of quickly. "No."

The young paramedic looked from Quinn to Rachel and spoke to both girls. "Alright, that's okay. We're going to do everything we can to help her okay?"

Quinn nodded and Rachel looked up at the woman. "If you're here it means my Mom's hurt really bad right?" Rachel could feel her eyes filling with tears but tried with all her might not to let them fall. Santana and Quinn never cried anymore, so neither would she.

"I don't know for sure, honey. But I promise you that no matter what your Mom is in the best hands, okay?"

"Kay.." Rachel said.

Quinn shifted uncomfortably. This paramedic couldn't possibly be that much older and her cheery personality in the heavy situation was doing nothing to slow Quinn's thoughts.

The elevator dinged and the sound of voices talking over each other filled the lobby as Quinn saw the pale body of her unconscious mother being wheeled out on a stretcher from the elevator. She instinctively covered Rachel's eyes despite the younger girl trying to pull away from Quinn to see her mother.

Santana was the last of the group to emerge from the elevator. Her clothes were soaked and the ends of her hair were also wet. Quinn could also spot small traces of blood that left its mark on her sister's shirt and jeans. She swallowed the bile that rose in her throat at the sight of her pale and bloodied mother passing in front of her followed by her big sister looking small and defeated, covered in blood that was not her own.

"Santana, we'd like for you to come with us in the ambulance please. We're going to have to ask a few basic questions about your Mom that will help us in treating her," said the young man who first greeted them when the paramedics arrived.

Santana nodded. "But.. my sisters.." she began. Santana couldn't leave them here in the lobby and she couldn't send them upstairs either. She also knew neither would take kindly to the idea of going to a friend or neighbor's place and pretending like everything was fine either. "They have to come.. My mom.. she'll.. want to see them," Santana pushed out.

Quinn stepped forward, Rachel still clung to her side. "It's okay, we'll get a cab right behind you."

"That sounds like the best plan Sanny," said Joe gently. "Quinn said your dad was already on his way there. He can meet you guys. Everything will be alright," he finished with a smile and a rub to Santana's shoulder. "See if they can get you a change of clothes, eh? Now go girls. No time to waste. Your mother needs you!"

If looks could kill Quinn would be dead from the look Santana shot her way. She knew very well Quinn hadn't spoken to the father and knew even better that he would certainly not be meeting them at the hospital, and now Joe had mentioned this in front of the ever-so-cheerful paramedic that bothered Santana simply by the way she stood with a smile plastered on her face.

"Yeah," Santana said still looking at Quinn. "We're going. Get a cab to take you to the ER entrance, Quinn. I'll see you both there." She began to run out the door but a sniffle from Rachel made her turn her head. She had completely ignored Rachel throughout this entire ordeal. She ran over to her youngest sister and pulled her in for a hug. "Everything's gonna be fine," she said with a quick wink. She turned back and got into the rear of the ambulance and sat in the seat that had been allotted to her from the male paramedic.

"Will they be okay in a taxi by themselves?" he asked.

Santana looked out the window of the ambulance back door as her sisters crawled into a cab in front of their building. "Yeah, they take cabs alone all the time."

The paramedic gave her a look and a small chuckle. "They're a little young for that, no?"

"Are you gonna help my mother or not! Stop talking to me and help them," she pointed to the others onboard, "help her," she finished with a point to her mother.

Santana sat back and let out a long breath. She was vaguely aware that she was answering questions about her mother's name, age, general health, eating and drinking habits, and any allergies or sickness.

Santana felt sick herself. This was all too much. Her favorite day had done a total 180 in a matter of 30 minutes and now her mother lay unconscious in the back of an ambulance by the hand of her own husband. There was no doubt in Santana's mind that her father had everything to do with the mess at the apartment, and she hated that she couldn't be a normal person and just tell the professionals what kind of roof they all really lived under. She knew the threats her father made were serious, and if Santana was selfish, she would beg for help, for a way out, but she wasn't. She had two sisters to provide for and a mother that, despite everything she had become, Santana would still fight tooth and nail to save.

She turned her head to look at the rear window once more as they approached Lenox Hill Hospital. The yellow cab that carried her sisters had done a good job keeping up with the ambulance and she was thankful for that. She was not, however, thankful for Quinn's lie about their father being at the hospital. How was she supposed to explain his absence to these people? Surely, they would become suspicious that Leroy never turned up to see his injured wife or take care of his three underage children. She kicked at the door from her seat inside the vehicle. She didn't understand why Quinn thought she was an adult. He would make her pay in a split second.

The ambulance pulled to a stop and in a rush, Shelby was pulled out of the ambulance as the paramedics shouted and yelled as they rolled her inside. She saw Quinn and Rachel quickly get out of the cab and rush to the door to meet Santana. The three girls walked in and went as far as they could before doctors told them they couldn't come any further. The cheery paramedic, whose name Santana had learned at some point in the journey was Megan, volunteered to stay with them until they could meet up with their father.

"Would you guys like me to call your Dad for you? Maybe we can find out where he is.. " she offered kindly.

As if on cue, before any girl could answer, a desperate "Girls!" was heard at the entrance to the ER.

Leroy stood, looking slightly disheveled but still the loving 21st century dad, in the center of the doorway.

He ran over to the group and wrapped his arms around all three girls, giving each of them a kiss to their head.

Santana felt herself grow cold and shivered. _He deserves an Academy Award for Best Actor,_ she thought bitterly. She listened in a daze as he introduced himself to Megan as the girls father and thanked her for bringing Shelby and the girls here safely. She heard him say he had no idea what could have happened and it took all of Santana's willpower not to kill him right there once for all. Her hands twitched. She needed to punch something. To scream. To let the infamous rage that was boiling up inside of her, out.

Suddenly, gasps were heard around the Emergency Room and Santana watched, as if in slow motion, as Rachel collapsed to the floor and fainted.

 ***** Hello All! I sincerely apologize for the wait for this chapter. A lot has (unexpectedly) happened! I got promoted at work, went on a last minute vacation, got engaged (!) and everything has been a little nuts! However, I'm committed to telling this story as it means a lot to me and I want to share it with you all. As I mentioned in the first chapter, if you haven't noticed, this is a slow moving story. I want the characters to feel real and the details to develop properly. Things will pick up, fear not. Loose ends will all (eventually) come into play. Thank you all for reading and please don't forget to review!**

 **beaner008- Thanks so much for reviewing! As always, stay tuned! Things will start moving and we'll get answers soon enough I promise!**

 **bproofmgmt- I hope the wait wasn't so horrible for you and I hope this update lives up to your expectations!**

 **Jess- Thank you so much! I'm glad the story has you excited!**

 **KurtHummelIsGarbage- Little Quinn is definitely heartbreaking and it has affected older Quinn for sure. And yes, it is totally not fair that Santana has spent her life taking care of everyone else. She is not perfect and I'm really excited to share the inside of Santana's head in time.**

 **Guest- Thank you for reviewing! Stay tuned!**


	6. Chapter 6

When Rachel came to, her back hurt and her head felt dizzy. When she slowly opened her eyes she realized her back hurt because she was on a small, uncomfortable, cot-like bed with a small curtain pulled around her. She felt a hand in hers and locked eyes with Santana who was wearing a face full of concern. "Hey you. You alright? How are you feeling?"

It took the young girl a minute to collect her thoughts. They were in the Emergency Room because something happened at home. Her mother was hurt, she and Quinn followed the ambulance to the hospital, their father turned up, and then... what happened? How did she get to this cot? Where were her father and Quinn and more importantly where was her mother? She felt her chest get heavy and her eyes begin to well up with tears she was afraid to shed.

"San," she cried. "Santana?"

"Shh, you're okay."

Rachel looked at her with wide, scared eyes. "I-I feel okay. I don't know what happened. Why did I faint? Where is everybody? I want Mom.."

"Calm down, it's okay. The doctors are with Mom now, they say she's going to be alright, okay?"

Rachel couldn't tell if Santana's answer was truthful or if she was just saying what she thought her youngest sister needed to hear. Rachel thought Santana looked tense, like there was more to the story, but she was too afraid to ask.

"Can I see her? Where's Daddy and Quinn?"

Santana ignored the question and focused on her sister's health. "You really scared us, Rach. Me especially. The doctor said the stress of the situation was probably too much. Do you think he was right? Or do you feel sick or anything?"

"I don't know why I did," she all but whispered. "I just.. I didn't expect to see Daddy and I got scared cause Quinn said not to tell anyone what Daddy does to you guys and I'm scared I'm gonna get everyone hurt and I won't see Mommy ever again.."

Santana saw Rachel was working herself up and that was the last thing she wanted. She needed to have control of something today and Rachel was her safest bet. "Hey, hey. Calm down it's okay. Dad's not mad at you, and Mom is going to be okay. The only question they've asked is if we know what happened to Mom. Do you?"

"No," said Rachel with a shake of her head.

"Exactly," Santana told her. "So you have nothing to worry about. Kay?"

Rachel didn't feel convinced, but Santana always knew best and would never lie. She nodded her head in agreement. "Where's Daddy and Quinn?"

"Dad went to see Mom and Quinn went to the bathroom," Santana answered. Her phone buzzed and she looked at the text she received and put the phone back in her bag.

"Who was it?" Rachel asked.

Santana shifted in her seat to get more comfortable. "Just Brittany. Do you want water or anything? Ice chips?"

"What did she want?"

"She just wanted to see if I was okay. I was with her when Quinn called. Do you want water or no?"

Rachel shook her head no. "Are you going to tell her what happened?"

"No," said Santana firmly. Rachel opened her mouth to speak again but Santana cut her off. "And before you ask why, it's because I don't want to worry her about something she has no control over, okay?"

Just then the curtain was pulled aside and Leroy and Quinn shuffled into Rachel's little area.

Immediately Rachel could feel the air thicken. Why did her Dad make her so nervous all of a sudden? She looked at Quinn but her blonde sister kept her eyes downcast. Wasn't she happy Rachel was awake?

"Oh, look whose up! How are you feeling princess?" Leroy asked his daughter. Rachel thought her father looked red in the face, as if he was angry or sad or just ran a mile. He moved in front of Santana and kissed the younger girl's forehead. "You gave us all a scare. When did she wake up Santana?"

"Just a few minutes ago. How's mom?"

"You should have came and found me when she woke up," Leroy chided.

"I'm okay Daddy. I think I just got scared about everything and my body didn't know what to do..." Rachel said looking at her father.

Santana didn't like the atmosphere in the room. It was as if all four of them held a bombshell secret and if it ever got out, their lives would be over. That's how it felt and, Santana thought, it was reality. There was something else though. Quinn was too quiet. She hadn't even acknowledged Rachel at all. Her sister was not an overly emotional person and earlier, her emotions had been out on display for all to see. Santana thought perhaps this was a classic case of Quinn closing herself off. She decided to let Quinn sulk. The less people spoke, the better for now.

Doctors and nurses began shuffling around them. Checking on patients and moving in others who needed places to rest.

"Well," Leroy began, "I certainly hope your body holds up better in the future, princess. Can't have you fainting anytime you get nervous. That would just be odd behavior now wouldn't it?"

Rachel exchanged a glance with Santana and nodded. "Can I see Mommy?"

Leroy sat on the edge of Rachel's bed. "No. She's in no state to see you just yet. You need to get your strength back first."

While Rachel quietly conversed with Leroy, Santana turned to face Quinn. The blonde was still leaning against the wall picking at her cuticles. Santana tried to catch Quinn's eye but the blonde avoided her gaze. Just then, an older Asian man entered through the curtain.

"Hello Rachel," he said with a friendly smile. "How are you feeling? I'm glad to see you're up and chatty. I'm Dr. Wong. I already explained to your father and sisters that it seems perhaps you were a bit overwhelmed what with everything going on with your mother tonight. However, I received word that in time she's expected to make a full recovery. We also did a blood test and it seems your blood sugar was a bit low. Mr. Lopez," he said turning to Leroy who was standing now, uncomfortable on his feet. "I suggest getting Rachel a cookie or sweet treat from the cafeteria or gift shop. That and a good night's rest should do the trick," he said with that ever friendly smile. "You're good to go whenever you're feeling up to it. I know you all probably want to go check on your mother, so I'll let you be. Mr. Lopez, I would follow up with Rachel's pediatrician in the next week or so just to make sure her levels are good."

And with that, the friendly Asian doctor was off to another slew of patients.

"We will go visit your ridiculous mother together, as a family," Leroy spat. His true colors were beginning to come through. "First, Quinn, go get Rachel something to eat. Something with sugar but not too fattening. Understand?"

Quinn finally looked up and locked eyes with her father. Santana watched the exchange and felt a sense of unease begin to brew in her stomach. Quinn nodded and began to leave the area. Santana watched her sister go and turned to her father.

"Mind if I go with her? She has a tendency to wander and I'm sure Rachel's probably hungry, right Rach?"

Rachel smiled. Leroy looked at Santana and considered her question. "Sure, go after her. Just remember Santana, no tricks. First one to break loses," he whispered out of Rachel's earshot. Santana's blood ran cold. With a squeeze to Rachel's leg, she left and began following after Quinn.

She saw the girl, still in her Cheerios uniform, further down the hall and picked up her pace. Something was off and Santana was going to figure out what.

"Hey!" Santana yelled as she caught up with her sister. "What's going on?"

Quinn shrugged and kept walking. "I'm getting something for Rachel. You were there. You know where I'm going." Her sister's voice was harsher than usual. Cold.

"You didn't ask how Rachel was," Santana said picking up her speed to keep up with Quinn who was now walking faster, as if to get away from Santana.

"She's clearly fine," Quinn said still walking.

Santana reached out and grabbed Quinn's arm. "Quinn, stop."

"Let go of me, Santana!" The girl tried to squirm out of Santana's hold. "What are you doing? Stop!"

She didn't want to draw and audience so quietly whispered, "No you stop. You came back to Rachel's together with Dad. He obviously said something to you. What did he say?"

Quinn stopped but ripped her arm out of Santana's grasp. "He didn't say anything."

"Bullshit, he didn't say anything."

"He didn't!" Quinn said louder. "I hate him, he hates me, it's no secret. It's nothing. I just want to see Mom and he's going to keep us from her as long as he can. I'm sure he's trying to come up with some sick excuse as to what happened. We just bumped into each other going back to Rachel's bed. That's all."

The two sisters stared at each other. Quinn broke the gaze first, quickly. "If you're going to interrogate me, just go back and be with Rachel. She needs you the most. If you're not, then shut up and come get this damn cupcake or whatever with me."

Quinn began to walk again while Santana remained standing. Quinn sometimes needed to be alone, but Santana decided she wasn't going to let it happen right now.

Silence accompanied both girls into the cafeteria. They purchased a bag of cookies as well as a cupcake and a Hershey bar.

They returned to the ER to find Rachel's bed empty and neither their father or sister in sight. Everything rushed into Santana's mind at once. Had he taken her sister and fled the country? Did their own father kidnap Rachel? Was Rachel all he really wanted and now with Shelby sick and she and Quinn gone he decided to take advantage?

"Thank you," she heard Quinn say to someone. "San, when the voices in your head are done screaming at you, we can go to Mom's room. The nurse just said that's where they went.

Santana felt dumbfounded and a little embarrassed. Quinn knew her well, but had she been that noticeably panicked? What was her father thinking? Santana was sure he wouldn't even show up to the hospital at the risk of incriminating himself, but here he was playing the role of doting husband and father. He was sticking around to see everything play out. Everything was a game to him. The problem was, when her father made the rules, he never lost.

The girls made it to their mother's room to see Leroy standing at the foot of the bed and Rachel curled up next to her sleeping mother. Santana immediately entered the room wanting to see for herself that her mother was okay. She was so certain her mother had been drowned to death at the hands of her father and being physically close to her gave the girl some kind of peace. If she was in the way, Leroy wouldn't touch Shelby again.

Quinn hung back in the doorway. She felt empty. She loved her mother, but she hated her. Her entire life all Quinn wanted was for Shelby to pluck up the courage and leave. Leave this city and leave the deranged man responsible for raising she and her sisters. Today was a new low. She was no longer sure she held any hope of escaping her father. She held too many secrets.

She felt a tear begin to make it's way down her face.

She could always share her secrets with Santana. They often shared the same burdens. As Quinn wiped her eyes and headed into the room, she silently vowed she wouldn't tell Santana her newest secret. Her older sister had so much stress that Quinn was surprised she hadn't gone grey early. She wouldn't add her own problems to Santana's already full plate. She just wouldn't.

 **Hi all! Sorry it's been awhile. This chapter was a bit shorter than I anticipated, but at the same time I don't want the story to run away from me either. I hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget to review! Thanks!**

 **beaner008- Thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

 **bproofmgmt \- Thank you for reading!**

 **rainbowbright108 \- I hope you're still reading! The pace will quicken as the story moves along, but right now there are a lot of bases to cover so it's still a tad slow. I hope you enjoyed it!**

 **purplerose3799 \- Here's more!**


	7. Chapter 7

Santana stood glued to the floor at the foot of her mother's hospital bed. She couldn't seem to take her eyes off of her. The color was slowly returning to her mother's face, but Santana couldn't shake the image of her ghostlike skin and the bloodstained clothes and bathtub. Was it only three hours ago that she had returned home to that horrific sight? So much had happened since and Santana could apparently only focus on her mother's face and trying to ignore the weight of her father standing just behind her.

Their mother was still pale, but her eyes were open and she was alert and aware of her surroundings. Rachel was cuddled up into her side, half laying on the bed herself, while Quinn sat in a chair near the foot of bed seemingly very interested in the specks in the tile floor. Despite her current situation, their mother still wore that dazed smile, as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Oh, my girls," she said. "You three are the best medicine there is." She patted Rachel's hair and gently closed her eyes though still awake, much like she had to Santana just the night before.

Santana wanted to scoff. The woman nearly died and yet she was hardly phased. Santana was desperate to find out what happened in their now destroyed home. No matter what drugs she was currently on to ease pain, there had to be some memory of how she ended up covered in blood in an overflowing bathtub. The tub that Santana had found her in. That Quinn had seen her laying next to.

"What happened, Mom?" she asked seriously. She felt a twinge of guilt for not asking how she felt or if she was okay, but this is what her life was. It was survival of the fittest and if Shelby wouldn't own up to the horrors she knew her own husband was guilty of, then Santana was damn well going to find out what she could do to protect herself and her sisters.

Shelby briefly glanced up at Leroy and shifted in her bed. Rachel cuddled closer. "Sh, Santana. I'm okay, and that's the important thing, right?" she asked rhetorically. "Quinn, baby, you're quiet." Santana felt it was very Quinn-like of her mother to change the subject so quickly. She made a mental note.

"I'm fine. Just glad you're okay," said the blonde with a quick glance to the woman in the bed. Santana felt her father shift behind her.

"Girls, I think your mother has had enough. She needs her rest, let's go." His voice was low and emotionless. Not for the first time in her life, Santana felt chills down her spine.

"No!" Shelby cried with little strength. For the first time in recent memory, Santana heard the energy, desire, and fear in her mother's voice, however weak. She met her husband's eyes to plead with him. "Let them stay just a bit longer, Leroy. I want to hear about school. Rachel, weren't you auditioning for a play, sweetheart?"

Santana watched as disappointment fell on Rachel's face. "Yeah, I got the butterfly, remember?" Rachel lifted her head from her mother's shoulder to look her more directly in the face. " I get to sing a solo and everything. I told you the other day and we talked all about it."

Shelby wore her dazed smile and closed her eyes while muttering something like 'yes, yes that's right,' but Leroy had enough. He barked at the girls to leave the room and within minutes, they were gone and Shelby was asleep.

The ride home was uncomfortable to say the least. Leroy sat in the front passenger seat of the cab with Rachel sandwiched between Quinn and Santana in the backseat. It was completely silent.

Santana had so many questions invading her head. Could this whole thing really just blow over? Would Leroy get away with an assault that he was surely to blame for? Where had he been all day? How was today still the same day as this morning when Quinn and Rachel were fighting in the bathroom? She needed sleep, but knew it wouldn't come for awhile.

The cab pulled up to their apartment building and the three girls got out. Quinn grabbed Rachel's hand and both girls hurried inside without so much as a glance back. Santana turned around to notice her father was still sitting in the taxi. He carefully eyed his eldest daughter. Santana knew the glare she was receiving was yet another warning. She felt her blood boil as it always did when Leroy was around, and then was shocked when the cab began to drive away, her father still inside.

She felt glued to the snowy ground. She wanted to chase the cab and scream at her father. She wanted to demand to know where he was going and why he'd done what he did. Instead, she stood staring blankly at the end of her street where the car had just rounded the corner out of sight. Her father was gone, yet again, to who knows where and Santana was left to pick up the pieces.

She trudged inside, relieved to feel the warmth emanating from the building. Quinn and Rachel stood waiting by the elevator, dodging questions from Joe. The friendly doorman was asking something about where their father was when Santana approached.

"He stayed with her at the hospital, Joe," she interrupted. "Hi. But yeah, he hung back with Mom. Once we saw that everything was alright and Mom was talking, they both thought we'd been through enough and should head home. We didn't want to but.. " Santana trailed off with a fake smile and an innocent shrug of the shoulder.

"Parents will be parents," Joe chuckled finishing her sentence. "Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em, right?" Santana forced a giggle and felt Quinn do the same next to her. Rachel eyed the conversation with her usual intense curiosity. Santana thought she could most certainly live without her parents, she'd been doing it practically her whole life. "Well, I'm so relieved everything is going to be okay, girls. You know if you need anything at all you just give a holler, okay?"

Santana thanked the kind man they'd grown up with and ushered her sisters into the elevator when it finally arrived. She let out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding.

"San, where'd Daddy go? He's not really at the hospital with Mom.." asked Rachel. Her hat was nearly covering her large brown eyes. Santana pulled the hat off her sister's head and was honest.

"I have no idea. I just have a feeling he might not be back for awhile," she said. They got off the elevator and each of them paused before opening the door to 3H.

Rachel's next question died on her tongue upon seeing the inside of her home. Leroy always made sure the home was immaculate, to see it in such disarray was alarming. "What happened?!"

Quinn, who hadn't uttered a word since the hospital, finally spoke. "Your Dad is a psychopath, that's what happened." She shook her head and walked toward her bedroom, carefully stepping over pieces of broken glass as she did so.

"San-" Rachel started but was cut off by Santana. "Rachel, if you're going to say something mean about Quinn, this is the one time I'm going to tell you to drop it. Just let her be, okay? We're all scared and confused and we deal with it differently. Quinn likes to be mean."

Rachel took off her coat as Santana did the same. "You're scared, too?" she asked.

"Obviously. It's gonna take time to figure out what the hell happened here, but I promise that we will and I promise it'll be okay," Santana told her. She sometimes cursed the fact that she sugar-coated things for Rachel. True, Rachel was young, but she and Quinn often acted like she was a toddler because of the horrors they tried to keep from her. They wanted to keep Rachel's childhood as innocent as possible. On the other hand, Santana often treated Quinn as her equal. She acted much older than 14 and had been dealing with the abuse just as long as Santana had. As much as she tried to protect Quinn, her blonde sister was also her confidant. She couldn't hide things from Quinn like she could from Rachel. She desperately wished she could.

"Okay," Rachel said. Santana silently thanked whatever God there was for the resilience of young children. "I'm going to use the bathroom and go to bed."

Santana's heart stopped and the mention of the bathroom. She knew it was likely still covered in blood and Rachel would be scarred enough just from seeing the house in it's current state, she didn't need to see that too. "Wait! Let me uh... just clean up a little bit and make sure there's no glass okay? Just hold it for a few minutes."

Rachel didn't put up a fight. She carefully tiptoed around the glass, lifting up the coffee table to it's proper position on her way to the bedroom. Santana gave it five minutes max before some type of argument broke out between her two sisters, but she was determined to use it to clean the bathroom as best she could.

She walked in and her palms got sweaty, just as they did when she discovered their mother. The adrenaline that coursed through her body mere hours ago had prevented her from properly taking in the sight of the bathroom. There was blood in the tub and smeared marks on the wall. The shampoo bottles were askew and on the floor, while the toilet had one of Leroy's t-shirts floating in it. Santana took a breath before catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She had noticed the blood- _my mother's blood_ \- on the side of her neck. She could only imagine what the front of her winter coat must actually look like. She took off her Cheerio's top and skirt as to not get them filth, and did her best to wipe clean the bathroom in just her sports bra and booty shorts.

She turned on the shower and watched as the blood swirled around the drain. She took the small rub, also stained with blood and threw it in the tub to rinse. She'd properly wash it or throw it out later. After about a solid 15 minutes Santana was satisfied enough with the state of the bathroom for Rachel to use.

She went across the hall to the room she shared with her sisters and was surprised to find the two of them co-existing in silence. Rachel had changed into her pajamas and was solemnly sitting on her bed, clearly in her head. Quinn was also changed out of her Cheerios uniform and it looked to Santana like she was instead dressed in their red Cheerios hoodie, but it was hard to see. Quinn was completely covered up to her neck in the blankets from her bed. A quick glance at the clock told Santana it was nearly 11:00pm. _What a fucking day._

 _"_ Can I use the bathroom now?" Rachel's voice was small and she looked exhausted. Santana couldn't blame her. "Yeah, go ahead. Grab something to eat too, Rach. Your system needs it."

Rachel turned around dramatically. "It's almost 11! I can't eat that late!"

Quinn sighed loudly. Santana rolled her eyes. "Rachel, it's fine. You need a little sugar, you literally passed out today. Grab a cookie or a banana or something."

Rachel left the room leaving Santana alone with Quinn's quiet figure.

"You okay?" Santana asked.

Quinn didn't move from her position on her side, facing the wall. "Sure."

Santana knew not to push Quinn. She knew her sister would open up in her own time, otherwise she'd snap, but at the same time, she couldn't let her bottle a day like this up. "Quinn..." she started.

"Santana, I'm fine."

"No, you aren't."

"STOP!"

Santana remained calm despite Quinn's sudden outburst. "Stop what?"

"Doing this! Talking! You've done it all day. Just leave me alone."

Santana moved from where she was standing by her own bed and sat on the edge of Quinn's. "I'm not going to leave you alone. It's going to be okay."

Finally, Quinn sat up and looked Santana in the eye. "How can you say that? How can you keep telling Rachel that? You have no idea what's going on! You just cam back here and cleaned up the house that was destroyed by a fight our parents had. You have Mom's blood on your face and you aren't even phased. So maybe you think it'll be okay, but I'll never get that image of Mom lying there out of my head! I'll see Rachel collapsing forever, and I'll feel him... just.. breathing down our backs all the time! I'm tired of it. And I swear to God, Santana, I might go to school tomorrow and never come back."

Rachel chose that moment to come back into the room, a sleeve of Ritz crackers in her hand. "Should I put my music on?" She had gotten into Quinn's habit whenever a fight broke out and was unsure what the current mood between her big sisters was.

Quinn muttered a 'no' and turned to face the wall again. She closed her eyes and prayed for sleep.

Santana helped Rachel into bed and said she'd come back in a minute. She went back into the living room and righted the couch cushions that had been strewn about. She felt a sob rise up in her throat at the truth in Quinn's words and fought to swallow it down.

She hated feeling so weak and being unable to find a lie or inaccuracy in Quinn's statement. What normal person comes home and cleans up her mother's blood like it's no big deal? Like it's just a mess they didn't get to cleaning before they left the house? She had held her mother's limp body a few hours ago and spent the rest of the time worrying about Quinn, Rachel, and Leroy.

Santana pulled her knees to her chest on the couch and pulled out her phone to dial a number she had memorized. She listened to the ring and the happy, yet concerned greeting at the other end of the late night call.

"I need you, Britt. I need you so bad."

 **As always, thank you so much for reading and I am SO sorry for the delay!**

 **BSincerely- Sorry for the wait! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

 **beaner008- I'm back again! Hoping you enjoyed this chapter and will stick around for more!**

 **Guest- Thank you!**

 **rainbowbright108- I hope you're still reading! We'll be getting into Quinn and what's going on with her soon.**

 **Addy- Thank you! I hope this chapter keeps you reading too!**

 **.143- Thank you so much!**

 **.it.13- I updated! Here ya go!**

 **Guest- We'll be getting to that!**

 **Guest- Here's an update!**

 **clj7- My Spanish isn't great but I'm glad you like the story. We'll find out what's going on with Quinn soon. I love the relationship between Santana and Quinn soon. We'll have more of it coming!**

 **Dark Nerdy Weirdo- I'm so sorry for the long wait! Please stay tuned for more!**

 **Guest- Here's an update!**


	8. Chapter 8

Santana changed into cozy pajamas and stayed curled up on the couch until she heard the gentle knock on the door notifying her of Brittany's presence fifteen minutes later. Brittany immediately hugged Santana who looked like she may fall over from exhaustion at any moment. The blonde had snuck out of her family's home to comfort her girlfriend who she had never heard in such distress before. Santana often said that Quinn hid her emotions, but Brittany thought the younger girl must have learned how to do it from watching Santana.

The two were currently seated on the family's sofa in a silent embrace. Brittany had let Santana cry all of her tears into her shoulder until there weren't any left. Santana had explained through her tears that her parents had a huge fight and that's why so many things in the home were broken and a mess. She told her girlfriend that the fight had landed their mother in the hospital and that their father hadn't been around in hours. She made Brittany swear not to tell her own parents about the mess or the fight and begged her to just be there for her tonight. Brittany agreed and Santana thanked God for the girl's patient nature. Her girlfriend didn't press or tell her what to do. She just did what she knew Santana needed her to do.

"What are you thinking?" Santana asked after the prolonged yet comfortable silence.

Brittany nuzzled Santana's head under chin. "I'm just wishing I could make you less sad. I wish you could tell me the full story, but I know you can't."

Santana was torn. More than anything she wanted to tell Brittany what was going on. She wanted to tell her about the abuse and how her mother didn't get out of bed anymore and how she was so scared of the future. At the same time, she wanted to protect her and she wouldn't test Leroy's threats.

"It's okay. I just get upset when I think about Rachel and Quinn seeing all this," she said gesturing to the room. It wasn't a total lie. She was upset that her sisters had to feel the wrath of their parents day in and day out, but she didn't want Brittany to see that it was a much bigger deal than a nasty fight.

Brittany nodded. "I know, San, but you're gonna wear yourself out. Q and Rachel are strong, you don't have to worry about every little thing for them," she said quietly.

"No," Santana said with a shake of her head. "You don't understand. They shouldn't have to be strong. Rachel's a kid. And so is Quinn except -"

She was cut off by Brittany. "And so are you Santana. So am I. Look, I'm not going to push you to tell me the real story, but I know there's more to what you're saying. I really hope you'll tell me when you're ready. In the meantime, use me," she said earnestly. Her bright blue eyes bore into Santana. "You're there for your sisters all the time, but you never let anyone be there for you. I've always been here to help you, but you insist on being Iron Woman," she said with a slight laugh.

This caused Santana to smile. "I know. I'm sorry. I just..." she trailed off.

"You just what?" asked Brittany gently.

"I just always had to be Iron Woman. My childhood wasn't... warm." Santana felt her heart start to be faster. She and Brittany didn't talk about her family like this. She didn't want to have this conversation. Not yet. "Just forget it. I think maybe just sleeping will help calm my nerves a little bit."

Brittany sighed, but gave her girlfriend a supportive smile. "I think that's a good idea. Mind if I crash?"

Santana most certainly didn't mind an impromptu sleepover with her girlfriend. "Not at all," she said with a quick kiss to Brittany's lips. "What about your parents?"

Brittany put her arm around Santana and cuddled even closer. "I'll set an alarm and take a cab home around five. My parents alarm doesn't go off until 5:30, so I'll get home before they wake up. Not a problem," she said.

"Okay," said Santana, finally content for the first time in hours. The two got comfortable on the couch with Brittany spooning Santana and a soft fleece blanket covering them both. Santana hadn't realized she had even fallen asleep until she heard shuffling from down the hall. She kept her eyes closed hoping she would easily drift back to sleep feeling the gentle rise and fall of Brittany's breathing behind her. When the sound of running water was added to the sound of movement, Santana's eyes jolted open; images of her mother in the bathtub instantly rushing to her mind. Her eyes flashed to the time on the TV set top box: 2:27am.

As quietly and quickly as she could, she untangled herself from Brittany's embrace and made sure the blonde was still sleeping. She noticed the light in the bathroom was on and prayed Quinn or Rachel needed a late night toilet run and it wasn't Leroy sneaking back into the apartment to somehow finish what he had started. Her prayer was halfway answered when she saw Quinn through the ajar door. Only she wasn't using the toilet. Her sister was sat on the edge of the tub and appeared to be washing something.

"Quinn?" Santana whispered loudly. Quinn let out a loud gasp and spun around to face Santana so quickly, it was a miracle she didn't fall backwards into the tub.

"Jesus, Santana you almost gave me a heart attack!"

"What are you doing? It's like 2:30 in the morning. Are you okay?" Santana asked, using her hands to shield herself from the seemingly blinding light of the bathroom compared to the dark rest of the apartment.

Quinn pulled over the shower curtain as if it would hide what she was doing, and stood facing Santana with her arms crossed. Santana noticed she was in a different pair of pajamas bottoms. "Stop asking me if I'm okay. I'm fine. And shouldn't I be the one asking you what you're doing?" Santana looked at her confused. "I saw you sleeping with Brittany in the living room," Quinn explained.

"I wasn't sleeping with Brittany. I was just _sleeping_ with Brittany," Santana said. She was sure she'd be blushing if she were more awake.

"Gross. I didn't mean that. I meant what is she doing here? She's going to tell someone about everything," said Quinn still glued to her spot in front of the tub.

Santana ignored her and pressed on in a heavy whisper. "You going to tell me what your washing in the middle of the night?"

Santana knew that Quinn knew she couldn't lie and say she was just using the bathroom or taking a very early morning shower. "It's just my sheets." said the blonde so quietly that if Santana hadn't seen her lips moving, she wouldn't be sure she spoke at all.

Santana's brow furrowed. Quinn could definitely be a neat freak but deciding to wash her sheets in the bathtub at 2:30 on a Tuesday morning was a bit extreme. "You're washing your bedsheets? Now? What the hell for?"

"I didn't mean to wake you. I thought I could just wash them and then they'd dry by morning," Quinn said even more quietly than before. Santana finally saw the 14-year-old in her sister. It doesn't come out too often, but in moments it does, Santana knows to handle with care.

Santana slowly walked over to Quinn and went to pull the shower curtain aside, but Quinn stopped her. "Please just let me wash them," she whispered close to tears. "It's no big deal. It was just an accident."

Then it dawned on Santana. As a child, Quinn was a chronic bed-wetter. The problem had gone away by the time she was five or six, but at the time it was her body's reaction to the abuse from Leroy. She could never help the nerves that overtook her little body when she tried to sleep. As the abuse became more regular, she grew out of it and it hadn't been a problem since.

Santana didn't want to embarrass her sister, but had to ask. She shut the door completely as to not wake Rachel just across the hall, or Brittany out in the living room. "Quinn... did you wet the bed? It's okay if you did."

Quinn nodded her head and silently began to cry. "I was dreaming and then I just woke up and..."

"Oh, Quinn," Santana said. She took her little sister in her arms and hugged her. Her heart simultaneously swelled and broke a little when she felt Quinn hug her back tightly. The two older girls didn't normally exchange such emotions. Everything was words with them. "Don't cry, it's okay. We have extra sheets. We'll just put them on your bed and throw the dirty ones out."

Quinn nodded, her head buried in Santana's neck unwillingly to lift it up just yet. At that moment, there was a gentle knock on the door. "Santana?"

Quinn quickly pulled away, wiped her tears, and put her game face on. Santana gave her a smile and opened the door to Brittany's concerned face. "Are you okay? Oh, hi Quinn. Sorry, I just woke up and you were gone, San. I heard voices and just wanted to check if everything was alright."

Santana met Brittany's eyes and smiled. "Thanks, Britt. It's all good. I heard something to and came to check it out. Just Quinn," she said hoping it was enough to end the conversation and save Quinn any awkward explanation. "Let's go back to the couch. You good?" she asked Quinn. Quinn nodded her head. "Yeah, I'm good. Thanks, San," she said genuinely. "Sorry for waking you," she said to Brittany.

"No worries, Q. See you tomorrow," said the kind older girl. Santana led Brittany back out to the living room leaving Quinn to throw out her soiled sheets and sleep on clean ones from the linen closet. She'd make sure to have a proper conversation tomorrow if Quinn would let her.

It wasn't long before they heard Quinn retreat back into the bedroom and Santana and Brittany could rest in silence once more. Right as Santana was about to doze off, Brittany spoke. "You're amazing, you know that?"

Santana shifted so she was face-to-face with her girlfriend. "What makes you say that?"

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I overheard the end of what you were saying to Quinn. You're gonna be the most amazing mom one day," Brittany said giving Santana a firm kiss on the lips. Santana wouldn't say 'motherly' was one of her characteristics, but maybe Brittany was right. Maybe she could be a great mom one day since she practically had to be one already to her sisters. While that thought was depressing in and of itself, she couldn't help but smile at the thought of raising a future family with Brittany. The idea of a happy future that could one day be possible sent her off into dreamland with a smile on her face and the memories of a God-awful day behind her for a few hours.

The next morning went off without a hitch. Brittany successfully woke up and made it back to her own home on time, Quinn and Rachel woke up and got ready for school without throwing attitude at each other, and Santana was currently dressed and sweeping up the broken glass that remained on the floor waiting for her sisters to head out to school. She was lost in thought about when to visit their mother later that day. Earlier, Rachel mentioned wanting to skip to school altogether to see Shelby, but Santana told her school was too important and that their mother would be waiting to see them afterwards. Rachel joined her in the living room and started to help pick up the tiny shards of glass.

"Here, San, I can help," she said getting down on her hands and knees.

"No!" Santana said quickly. "Those tiny ones can prick your fingers worse than bigger pieces. Don't worry, Rachel. We'll run the vacuum to get the rest."

"Oh, okay," said Rachel. After a beat she continued. "Will you tell me what happened?"

Santana looked at her and sighed. Rachel was already bundled up in her winter coat and hat, ready to brave the bitter New York air. Her eyes were big and curious and her Frozen backpack was falling off one arm. Santana dumped the glass from the dustpan into the garbage bin and sat down on the arm of the sofa. She decided to be as frank with Rachel as possible. "Mom and Dad had a big fight, and it looks like they tore the house apart in the process. I don't.." she chose her words carefully. "I don't know how Mom got hurt, but that's why I didn't want you or Quinn to come up here yesterday. I didn't want you to see her the way she was," she finished.

"Oh," said the young girl. She almost sounded disappointed. "That's not a big deal then," she said.

"What do you mean it's not a big deal?"

"Well," Rachel started, "they fight all the time. Daddy hits Mommy and you and Quinn a lot. Our family always fights," she said with a shrug. "Do you know what it was about?"

Santana looked at her sister. "Rachel, you understand that this isn't normal right? Our family isn't... conventional. Dad shouldn't hit anybody and Mom.. frankly Rachel, Mom needs help," she said.

"But why? She's just sick, right?" said Rachel.

"Yeah, sick in the head," said a new voice. It was Quinn. "Come on let's go. I don't want to miss the first bell."

With that, Quinn threw open the front door and headed downstairs. Santana put on her own jacket, grabbed her bag, and ushered Rachel out the door with her. She knew she was going to have to stop treating Rachel like a baby sooner or later. She deserved to understand the severity of their situation, but there was a lot at risk. Rachel was young and if she innocently said the wrong thing to their father, Santana didn't know how he would react. If and when, that is. She knew Joe downstairs would start to take notice eventually that their father hadn't returned last night or this morning. She could only convince the doorman that Leroy was at the hospital for so long.

The school day passed uneventfully and Santana sat in Glee club half listening to Mr. Schuester go on about how ahead-of-their time some of the rock bands of the 80s were. Brittany was absent-mindedly twirling Santana's hair and the feeling helped keep Santana focused. Aside from Cheerios after school, Glee was the only time Santana and Quinn were ever in the same vicinity. Quinn's freshman classes were usually on the opposite side of the building than Santana's senior ones. She knew her sister had the same tendency to totally tune out Schuester and turned her head to look at her sister when she realized Quinn wasn't there. Her heart started pounding.

"Where's Quinn?" she asked suddenly. Apparently Mr. Schue had been in the middle of assigning this week's work and she had loudly interrupted. The entire club turned to look at her. She stood up. "What? No one noticed she wasn't here?!"

"Well, frankly neither did you until right now and she's your sister," said Artie diverting his eyes away.

"Can it Wheels," she spat. "What the fuck Mr. Schue? What happened to taking attendance?"

"San..." Brittany warned.

"Santana, you cannot speak to me like that. Or Artie for that matter," he said sternly. He softened when he saw the helpless look on Santana's face. Something was off. "Alright guys, carry on by yourselves for a minute. Santana, could you come here for a minute?" He walked toward his office adjacent to the choir room. She quickly followed expecting a lecture for her language, but she didn't have time to listen to another adult berate her.

"I'm sorry Mr. Schue but-"

The man held up a hand to silence her. "You don't have to apologize, but thank you anyway," he said with a kind smile. "Tell me what's up. You were in la la land during Spanish earlier and now you're freaking out about Quinn. Glee only started ten minutes ago, maybe she got held up in another class."

Santana shook her head. "No. She has a free period before this. She wouldn't wander off, especially not right now."

Mr. Schuester's brow furrowed. "What does that mean, 'right now'? Is everything okay at home Santana?"

The dreaded question Santana had miraculously somehow been able to avoid her entire life just smacked her in the face. She knew Mr. Schuester didn't like their father. He made sure to come to every parent-teacher conference to ensure the girls were well-behaved and excelling in school. He gave off an arrogant and entitled vibe that other teachers took as merely an intimidating parent, but Santana knew Mr. Schue could read people on a deeper level. Mr. Schue knew that Shelby Lopez was ill and that their father was the head of the household, and while he didn't know how their house was run, he had a gut feeling he wouldn't like it.

"I- yes," Santana stammered. "Home is fine, I just..we were up late last night and she was in a bad mood this morning and I don't know. I just know she'd be here," she finished lamely. Mr. Schue narrowed his eyes, unsure if he should believe her or not. He nodded his head in understanding and was about to speak again when a sophomore, Noah Puckerman came to stand in the doorway.

"Uh, hey," he said holding up his cell phone. "I just wanted to let you know I texted Quinn and she messaged me back. She said she's bailing on glee and was fine but didn't say where she was."

"What the hell," said Santana as she grabbed the boy's phone. She immediately dialed Quinn hoping she'd answer if she knew it wasn't Santana. She was in luck. The voice on the other line picked up. "I said I'm fine, Puckerman. Tell my sister she can-"

"What the hell Quinn. Where are you?" yelled Santana into the phone.

She heard her sister mutter something under her breath about murdering Puck before speaking again. "I just needed air Santana. I'm going for a walk."

Santana walked out of Mr. Schue's office so she could continue the conversation without interested ears. "Quinn, you can't just up and leave school! How the hell did you even get out anyway? No one can leave without a parent coming to get them." Santana froze. "Oh my God, are you with Dad?"

"Santana, no! I really just went for a walk. I need air and space and to be alone. I promise you I'm fine."

Santana sighed. Why couldn't life just be happy-go-lucky for one day. "Fine. I'll meet Rachel after school and then we're going to visit Mom. Do what you want."

Quinn promised she'd meet them there and the call was ended. Santana trudged back into Mr. Schue's office, gave Puck his phone back, and looked at Mr. Schue. "She's fine. She's just being a bitch today and bailing." Mr. Schue was clearly disappointed in her response but she was thankful he let the subject go and didn't press for more. As she headed back out to the choir room, she turned to Puck. "Lose my sister's number."

"Say what?" he said.

"You heard me, Puckerman. Lose Quinn's number. She doesn't need a guy like you trying to get in her pants. She's 14."

Puck followed her and sat next to her. Sure, Santana was older than him, but she was smoking hot and no chick intimidated him. Even his crush's older sister. "Cool it, Lopez. I'm not trying to get into anyone's pants. Plus, if I didn't have her number, you'd be having a conniption on the floor right about now."

Santana made to hit him, but the boy managed to dodge himself out of the way. "Not today, Satan!" He moved his seat away from Santana while the rest of the club pretended the almost-altercation didn't just happen.

Mr. Schue took his place at the front of room once more and continued explaining the assignment from earlier. Santana checked out again and willed the day to be over.

Quinn sat quietly at her mother's bedside. She didn't mean to come here, her feet just took her here. She hated how helpless her mother looked. Once upon time Shelby would try and defend Quinn or Santana from Leroy's abuse, but the attempts were few and far between. Quinn clung to those few memories though. Sometimes, she wasn't even sure they were real, but she knew that version of her mother still existed somewhere deep inside the woman lying on the hospital bed. She prayed every night that her mother would find the strength to stand up to her husband again.

A silent tear rolled down Quinn's cheek. She felt cheated. She didn't get to have a loving dad, or even a biological one. And her mother wasn't the kind of mother that teenage girls need. She wanted a confidant that wasn't Santana and could understand in a way that Rachel couldn't. Sure, she had friends, but despite how close she was with any of them, she could never share her family's secrets.

A nurse came in to draw blood from her mother and check on her vitals. She started a small, meaningless conversation with Quinn about school and what she liked to do outside of it. She then noticed the nasty mark on the young girl's collar bone.

"How'd you get that mark honey?" she asked gesturing to the area.

Quinn instantly tried to cover it up. She thought she had done a good enough job with make up this morning, but obviously not. Luckily, she was a quick thinker. "Oh, I'm on cheerleading. I'm a flyer and sometimes the landing can be rough."

The nurse made a "Hmmm" sound and went about her business, leaving the room before the conversation could continue.

"You're smart, Quinn. It's a shame you don't have my blood in you. But then again, we couldn't have had all the fun we had if you did."

She froze in her chair, but didn't need to turn around. She swallowed the lump in her throat and prayed that God would somehow answer her prayers and have her mother magically jump out of bed and defend her. It never happened. She slowly turned and met her father's eyes.

 **THANK YOU** **for reading! Please review if you can. I think about and plan this story constantly, it's just getting it on paper that's hard. I will do my best to update more regularly!**

 **clj7- I hope you enjoy the update!**

 **beaner008- Thanks for sticking with the story. We move ever closer to secrets spilling out, which will then get this story moving much faster than it has been and the girls will be taken on a crazy roller coaster. But I've already said too much. Thanks for reading!**

 **Sarah11650- Santana angst is the best kind of angst. Trust me, there's much more to come! Thank you for reading. I love these three as sisters also.**

 **sharpshxxters- Thank you so much for the kind words! Sorry for the long wait between updates, but I hope you still enjoy it!**

 **rainbowbright108 - Quinn is VERY secretive. It'll take more than some prying to get answers out of her. I can't wait for Leroy to get what's coming to him either.**

 **Guest - I'll certainly try to update more frequently. Thank you for reading!**

 **Guest- We're getting closer with what's going on with Quinn. But she in particular is a hard shell to crack!**


	9. Chapter 9

Rachel sat waiting in the main office of her school for Quinn to come pick her up. Mrs. Pickens, the director of the school play, had asked Rachel if she was feeling alright earlier. She told the girl she seemed distracted. Truth is, she was incredibly distracted. The school didn't know her mother was in the hospital or that her father had run off. She was practically being raised by her older sisters and both of them were telling her to keep secrets. She understood that her family wasn't like other families, but she knew she was loved and that made it okay. School always taught her that if something felt wrong, to tell a teacher or adult. Rachel wanted to tell Mrs. Pickens that something in her family seemed wrong, but between not knowing what was really going on, and Santana and Quinn telling her that she shouldn't talk about the way their father would hit her sisters, she kept her mouth shut and told Mrs. Pickens she wasn't distracted, just focused on perfecting her part in the show.

Rachel's confusion grew even more as she saw Santana come through the double doors of the office. "Santana?" she asked surprised. "Where's Quinn? You're not the one who gets me from school," she said zipping up her coat.

"I know, Rachel. Quinn didn't feel well today." Santana stated. She turned to the kind school secretary who she had known for years. "Hi Mrs. Pierce. I'm picking up Rachel today. Sorry there wasn't more advanced notice. My sister went home sick from school," she said with a smile to Brittany's mom.

The older blonde woman smiled. "Not a problem, Santana. You tell Quinn to feel better, alright? And please, tell your parents I'd be happy to take Rachel home if either of you girls ever can't get here."

Rachel watched as Santana smiled her thanks. The young girl thought it was odd that Santana and Brittany had been friends for years, were not-so-secretly dating, Mrs. Pierce knew her and both of her sisters, and yet had never once met her parents.

She bundled up to face the blustery New York cold and wind. Santana quickly hailed a cab and told him to bring them to St. Luke's Hospital.

"How come Mrs. Pierce would offer to bring me home even though she never met Mom and Dad?" Rachel asked. She was absentmindedly playing with the ripped leather on her seat.

Santana continued to look out the window. "Because she's a nice person," she answered shortly.

Rachel could tell her sister was in a bad mood and that rage was probably not far away, but she had a right to know things.

"But why? She wants to meet them!"

This got Santana's attention. "How do you know that?"

"Because she knows about you and Brittany and she always says what nice big sisters I have that take care of me and she'd love to finally meet our parents. That's how," she said matter-of-factly. She loved being able to have information her sisters didn't. It gave her a small amount of power. If she proved she could keep secrets of her own, maybe they'd trust her with the more adult ones.

She stared into Santana's eyes as her older sister looked at her. When Santana muttered something incoherent under her breath, she took a stab at another question. "Where is Quinn? I bet she didn't go home sick because you wouldn't be so mad if she did."

She may only be eight, but she knew she was currently owning the conversation. She could see it in Santana's face that the older girl hadn't expected her to be so perceptive.

To her surprise, Santana's mood seemed to lighten and she smiled at Rachel. "I really need to stop underestimating you, midget."

Her sisters had called her midget lovingly since she was three. While she used to think they said it to be mean, and Quinn sometimes still did, she knew from Santana, it was a pet name.

"You do," she said honestly. "I'm not a baby. I see what Daddy does to you and Quinn and I know it isn't okay, but why is it a secret? Can't we just get him to stop? Maybe if we tell someone, he'll learn his lesson!"

She saw Santana's face fall. "He won't, Rachel. He's not wired right. Dads aren't supposed to hit their children. They don't talk to their kids the way Dad talks to us."

She saw the desperation in Santana's eyes, as if she was begging and willing her to understand.

"He loves me," she said simply. And she knew he did. He'd tell her every night before bed. He said she was his favorite girl, always. His princess.

The cab was silent for a few blocks and Rachel had assumed the conversation was over. She had wanted to prove herself to Santana, but wasn't entirely sure she had. She still didn't know where Quinn was.

"Can you at least tell me where Quinn is?" She asked.

Santana reached into her purse and pulled out a bag of pretzels. "Here," she said handing them over. "We need to make sure you don't pass out on again right?" Rachel nodded and took the bag. She opened it and began eating while waiting for Santana to continue.

"You're right. Quinn didn't go home sick. She decided to leave school."

Rachel stopped chewing and her brown eyes widened in astonishment. "What?! Forever?" Santana shook her head. "No, of course not. She got mad today and just left. You see Rach," she turned towards Rachel so they were face to face. "Quinn thinks she's a lot older than she is. You both have that same quality. You want to make all these adult decisions for yourself and you want to know the details of everything, but sometimes you have to accept that that's not how it works. Quinn is fourteen, Rachel. I know that seems old to you, but it isn't. She can get in a lot of trouble and mess up her future if she keeps ditching school. You're eight, Rachel. Eight!" Rachel watched as Santana's rage came slowly bubbling back to the surface. "You're freaking eight. And I wish more than anything I could explain to you the seriousness of the situation, okay? I do. But the truth is, you shouldn't even know as much as you do. I'll try and do better, but you need to trust me okay?"

She finished as they pulled up to the visitors entrance of the hospital. "I told Quinn we'd be here, so maybe she'll meet us here and you can help me give her a piece of my mind. Come on, let's go."

Rachel took her time getting out of the cab. She was hung up on what Santana had said about trusting her. "That's what Daddy said," she murmured quietly. She heard more than saw Santana stop moving. Her voice was equally quiet and Rachel had to strain to hear her. "What did Dad say?"

"The other night. He told me to trust him."

She gave a small "ow" as Santana grabbed her arm and pulled her inside the automatic doors of the hospital. "When?" Santana demanded.

Her big sisters eyes were boring into her own and for the first time she could remember, Rachel felt intimidated by her sister's presence. "Th-The other n-night," she stammered. "I spilled my drink and he helped me clean my shirt. And pants. He.. he.." she didn't want to go on. The more she spoke, the more she was beginning to understand that the situation actually was bigger than she thought.

"He what, Rachel? Please tell, midge..."

Rachel swallowed. "Well he touched me on my pants. Like, down there. But it was an accident!" She said quickly. "He didn't mean to! And I saw his face get all confused and I was scared he was going to hit me because Quinn said he was hitting her when she was eight, but-but-but he didn't! He didn't hit me and he moved his hands away and he told me to trust him. He said that you and Quinn didn't trust him and that's why he punished you all the time! He said that you would never learn and Quinn was a disappointment and-and" she was now choking on her sobs. "He said if I just kept being s-sweet and kind, then it would be fine!"

She knew she was speaking too fast and wasn't even sure it was coherent because she was now sobbing, but Rachel felt officially lost. She trusted both of her sisters and her Dad and even her Mom. Why couldn't they all trust each other? Why was trusting her Dad something so terrible when the two of them had a perfectly fine relationship?

Santana's silence was so loud it scared the younger brunette. Surely, this was the calm before her sister's storm. The older girl took a deep breath and Rachel could tell she was trying not to let the tears fall.

"Did he ever touch you before?"

"I.."

"Rachel just tell me. Yes or no?"

Rachel shook her head. "No."

Santana nodded and Rachel let her sister lead to the bathroom down the hall. She stared off into space, but was aware as Santana stuck a paper towel under some lukewarm water and wiped the tears from Rachel's face and began to speak. "Let's get you cleaned up, huh? For the record Rach.. I'm not mad. At all. Not at you, anyway. I'm so, so glad you were honest with me. You know that's one of my favorite things about you? You always let me in."

Rachel broke her trance and looked up at her sister with a smile. "You're just saying that because Quinn never lets you in."

Santana remained serious. "You might be right about Quinn, but that's not why it makes me love you. You're so special, Rachel. But Dad... I'm afraid he'll take advantage of you because of it. Will you tell me if he ever does something like that again?"

Rachel felt closer to her sister in that moment than she had in her entire life, which was odd because she always felt close to Santana. The older brunette always put Rachel's needs before her own. She nodded to Santana. "I promise. Can we please go see Mom now?"

Santana grabbed a hold of the pom-pom on Rachel's hat and took it off, flattening the girls static fly-away hairs. "Definitely. Let's go."

...

Santana did her best to keep her emotions in check and her demeanor steady in front of Rachel as they took the elevator up to their mother's floor.

Rachel was smart, she knew that. Her sister was young, but perceptive, smart, and intuitive. However, none of that changed the fact that she was still eight years old and it ripped at Santana's heart. She shouldn't be having such confusing interactions with the members of her immediate family, but after hearing that her father had potentially tried to touch Rachel, she knew it was the final straw. She had no idea of any immediate action she could take, but she definitely couldn't go away to college and leave her sisters to fend for themselves should their father return.

How did her life get so fucked up? It was fucked up for years, but her father had straight up attempted to murder his wife, and there was no one to tell. He'd get his revenge, Leroy Lopez always did. He had friends in high and low places and was guilty of so much yet there wasn't even a parking ticket on his record. And even if authorities did find out, she, Quinn, and Rachel would be living in humiliation. Santana could practically imagine the pity in the eyes of the people they called friends. It made her skin crawl.

She was snapped out of her reverie when Rachel spoke. "San! You passed it, it's this room!"

Santana was so far in her head she hadn't realized she completely passed her mother's private room.

"Mom?" Rachel's voice was a mixture of confusion and concern. When Santana joined her in the room she saw why.

"Girls..." Shelby whispered. She attempting to sit up in bed, but the pain was too much. She pointed to the call button, but the wire had been snipped.

"What's wrong, Mom? What do you need?" Santana asked. She grabbed the water bottle from the end table and offered it out to her mother.

"Your father is here," she whispered even more quietly than before, with a point. Santana's heart sank. Her eyes followed the direction of her mother's point to the room's bathroom. "I woke up to his voice. He-he was talking to someone. A nurse. I- oh God, I think he's hurting her or threatening.. I can't get up. The call button doesn't work.."

Santana hadn't heard that much genuine emotion from her mother in years. It was almost as if she was admitting that she knew what her husband was capable of. It was alarming, but she chose to instead focus on what her mother was saying. He was here? What was he playing at? Then, Santana heard a small moan of pain from the woman in the bathroom.

"Rachel," she commanded in a whisper. "Go to the nurses station, and tell them we need help right now." Her sister ran out the door, bubble coat still on, and ran to get help. Santana, again, cursed herself for letting Rachel's life spiral into what it was becoming.

She heard her fathers unmistakable deep breathing coming from the other side of the bathroom door. The sound instantly made her hands begin to sweat. Santana had been beaten by him enough to know he got off on it. It was taking every ounce of self control in her body for her not to open the door, rescue the nurse, and return the favor to her father by beating the shit out of him.

"Santana.." her mother began, but her voice died on her lips.

"How long have they been in there Mom? Does he know you're awake? Did you talk to him?"

She felt absolutely absurd whispering when someone was potentially being threatened by her father. Why was she so afraid to open the door? Why doesn't she just barge in and get the woman to safety? Why was she scared stiff? She ignored the voice in her head that told her it was because Leroy would make her pay regardless. Possibly with her life.

"No. I woke up to his voice. I-I don't know what he was saying," Shelby said. She faced Santana and brushes some hair out of her own face. "Baby... it was never supposed to be like—"

She was cut off by the return of Rachel who had brought with her a nurse and the floor's security guard.

"What's the problem here?" The burly security guard almost reminded Santana of Coach Bieste. A somewhat friendly face and a no-bullshit attitude.

"We think someone is being threatened in the bathroom.." the words came out of her mouth but they didn't seem connected to her thoughts. She grabbed Rachel by the shoulders and backed away to stand near her mother.

The guard knocked on the door alerting whoever was inside of his presence. There was a feminine cry heard from inside, and beside her Santana heard a guttural "No" come from her mother. Santana's own breathing picked up and it finally dawned on her why her subconscious had refused to let her open the door.

As the guard swung open the door, it revealed Leroy on the toilet seat, jacket discarded on the floor and pants around his ankles, with Quinn in his lap, his fingers disappearing underneath her Cheerios skirt and spandex. It was obvious his manhood was still inside her sister. Quinn's hair had been let out of its ponytail and there were tear stains on her porcelain cheeks. At the opening of the door she feebly tried to cover herself up.

Everything seemed to happen so fast. Santana's legs gave out underneath her and she managed to land in a spare chair. Her mother, seemingly voiceless before, was now screaming incoherently. She was struggling to get out of her bed, screaming a combination of Leroy and Quinn's names, before being restrained by the nurse and uttering "not my baby" over and over.

Rachel had immediately broken into sobs at the situation. Santana knew she didn't understand what she was looking at, and the way her eyes kept turning to look at her mother told Santana this situation was entirely too much for the eight-year-old to be experiencing.

"S-Santana," Rachel sobbed.

Santana found herself frozen once more. The image of the sister she so desperately tried to protect for most of her life, forced over her father's lap with his fingers inside of her, crying silently as to not be heard, was an image she wouldn't soon forget. In the past two days she had found her mother bleeding out in the bathroom and her sister being sexually violated in a public hospital by her own father. God was surely a sick fuck. She was now positive.

She blinked and suddenly the scene before her had changed. Minutes had clearly passed as someone was sedating her mother, a nurse was guiding a crying Rachel out of the room, and her father was being led out in handcuffs.

Quinn. She had to find Quinn. Santana's head was spinning. Someone was talking to her but her thoughts were drowning the person out. She saw a female security guard talking to her. Santana could see her lips moving, but couldn't hear a word.

"My sister," she managed to croak out.

Her eyes scanned the room. They finally landed on a small group of people in the bathroom doorway. Quinn was still inside and they were attempting to coax her out.

"Sweetheart, look at me." The female security guard was talking to her again. "Everything's going to be okay. Can you come and talk with me?"

But Santana couldn't look at her, and if she could she would laugh in her face. Things were nowhere near okay.

"No, actually it isn't," she spat. "Quinn?" She called. "Rachel? I need.. please just let me sit with them."

She found her feet and stormed passed the officer. She pushed through the crowd of four nurses crowding the bathroom.

"Quinn?"

Santana felt tears well up in her eyes and her throat begin to close, but she was determined to remain the rock. Quinn was sitting in the corner of the bathroom humming to herself. She couldn't make out the tune, but she was almost certain it was whatever classical song she listened to on her iPhone these days.

She had pulled her spandex up, but her hair was still down and she refusing to make eye contact with any of the adults trying to get through to her.

"We may need a child psychologist," one woman said to her colleague.

Santana turned to them and spoke firmly. "No," she said. She turned back to her sister and attempted to push a piece of hair behind her ear. Quinn shook her head to force Santana's hand away.

"Quinn, it's me," Santana urged. "I'm here and he's gone. Come with me, kay? Rachel's right outside and the three of us can just go home, okay?"

Truth was, there was no way they'd be able to go home immediately, but she needed to get Quinn out of the bathroom. Santana wanted to herself out of there.

Quinn didn't meet Santana's eyes, but allowed her older sister gently grab her hands and pull her up. Once Quinn was standing, Santana bent down to pick up her sister's Cheerios jacket, placed it over Quinn's shoulders and gently guided her to the hall. They found a nurse with Rachel and Santana wasn't sure if they were having a conversation or if the kind woman was just distracting the eight-year-old, but Santana was happy to see that Rachel was no longer hysterical. Tears still fell from her brown eyes, but she was in control. Upon seeing Quinn, the tears fell faster once more.

"Quinn..." the young girl started.

"Rach.." Santana made eye contact and shook her head telling the girl not to say anything at the moment.

Santana put the arm that wasn't around Quinn around her youngest sister and together the three girls made their way down the hospital hallway. Santana knew they couldn't go far- she knew there were countless questions that would need to be answered and that their mother would awaken from sedation shortly. Until then, Santana took solace in the fact she had both of her sisters safe in her arms, and prayed the worst was over. She knew though, from the tears in Rachel's eyes, the tremble in Quinn's lithe body, and the overwhelming emotion bubbling in her own gut, that the worst was still on the horizon.

...

 **AN: And there we have it! For those of you thinking that perhaps this was too easy.. stay tuned. I feel the gears of this story are only just starting to spin...**

 **Please, please review if you can! They mean the world to me and I love hearing what you think. Thank you!**

 **clj7- Glad you liked the update! Here's another for you!**

 **beaner008- So happy you're still reading! Thank you!**

 **rainbowbright108- I love your speculation! This chapter sort of deals with everything you commented on. But don't worry.. more twists to come...**

 **nelly- Thank you SO much for your incredibly detailed review. I absolutely loved reading it. I'm glad you love the girls as much as I do. Their lives haven't been easy and will not be for quite some time I'm afraid!**

 **Guest- Here's another update!**

 **KStoryteller- Thank you so much for reviewing. This chapter was a bit of a biggie, but they aren't out of the woods yet.**

 **MaudeLebowski - Thank you so much for reviewing!**


	10. Chapter 10

Santana led her sisters to a small cluster of chairs at the end of the hospital hallway. In the background she heard various machines coming from nearby rooms, families visiting loved ones, and nurses busy attending to patients. She knew it was only a matter of time before someone followed them down the hall for questioning and in Quinn's case, medical care. She took a glance at her blonde sister. Her Cheerios jacket was still slung over her shoulders where Santana had placed it. Her hair remained down and unruly, she hadn't even attempted to tame it. There were beads of sweat shining on her forehead. She couldn't see her sister's eyes, but Santana knew they were glazed over. The sight made her want to vomit. Quinn took such pride in her appearance, to see her so destroyed at the hand of their own father made her stomach churn. She could still hear his grunts mixed with Quinn's quiet yelps of pain. Santana swallowed the bile that had risen into her throat, determined to stay strong.

She changed her glance over to Rachel, needing relief from looking at Quinn. The youngest girl sat in the chair directly next to Quinn with her gaze averted. Santana could still see the tear stains on her face and her quiet sniffles told Santana she had not quite processed what just happened either.

"Rach?" she started in a quiet voice. The eight-year-old fidgeted at the sound of her name but did not raise her gaze from the floor. Quinn didn't move. "Rachel, I'm going to call Brittany to come get you, okay?"

Rachel immediately met her older sister's eyes and slid to the edge of her chair. "No! I want to stay here. Please, Santana!"

Santana sighed. She knew Rachel would fight her, and she didn't blame her sister for wanting to stay, but she knew the sooner she could get Rachel away from the madness, the better. She vowed to herself to have a serious talk with Rachel in the near future. About everything.

"Rachel-"

"No! I don't care that you're the oldest and in charge. I want to stay! I want to see Mom and I want..." she trailed off and looked over at Quinn, who seemed unaware of anything happening around her. "I want.. I want to be with Quinn. She needs me. Right Quinn?" The blonde still showed no sign of hearing her sister at all. "Right Quinn?" she asked again desperately, tears falling once more at the lack of answer.

Santana wanted to cry too. For both of her sisters and for herself. She couldn't help the way her eyes welled up. "I know," she told Rachel in a tear-filled whisper. She got up from her seat, carefully skirted around Quinn and knelt down in front of Rachel. "I know you want to stay and I know you want to help. And yes, Quinn does need you. She needs you so much, but right now it's going to be a lot of questions and tests that neither of us can really help with, okay? I'll stay with her here, and once we go home there's no one that will be able to help more than you. She'll need your famous pre-cut cookies and cuddles and I bet she'll even need a good viewing of Funny Girl." She was happy to see the latter statement bring a slight smile to Rachel's face underneath her tears. "I know it sucks, Rach, and I know there's so much that doesn't make sense right now. I know you want to see mom too, and I promise you will. I just.. I need you to let me have Brittany pick you up." She watched as Rachel's brown eyes searched her own looking for some type of lie. She couldn't find one.

"Okay..." she said finally. "Why Brittany? Can't we call Kurt's mom? Brittany's your friend."

Santana wasn't in a place where she was ready to explain their situation to outside people. Brittany had already witnessed the aftermath of what Santana told her was a fight and Santana knew her girlfriend was slowly starting to put two and two together. She and her family would ask the least questions.

"Because Brittany loves Quinn just as much as we do," she said with a glance to her blonde sister. From her angle squatting in front of Rachel she could see her assumption from earlier was correct. Quinn's eyes were not present in the slightest. It freaked her out, but she needed Rachel to agree before she delved into Quinn's head. She took a breath before speaking again. "I'll tell Brittany what's going on, you just focus on you, okay?"

Rachel nodded, but her gaze had shifted to Quinn. She reached out to hold Quinn's hand and it was just enough to send the older girl spinning. Quinn immediately smacked Rachel's hand away and began yelling. "NO! Stop! I'm sorry!" Santana watched as Quinn's quick reflex and sudden bellow made Rachel flinch away in fear. She saw Quinn bring her feet to her chest in an attempt to make herself as small as possible. Santana jumped into action. She took the seat next to Quinn that Rachel had just vacated and was careful not to touch her unexpectedly.

"Quinn? It's okay, look at me," she said softly. "It's just me and Rachel. Just Santana and Rachel." Every ounce of her wanted to reach out and hug her sister but she was terrified of setting her off again. She heard Quinn quietly begin to hum a song to calm herself down and Santana was grateful she was trying to steady herself. "That's it. It's okay..."

She had been so in the zone focused on Rachel and Quinn that she had almost forgotten they were in the hospital until Rachel pointed out a nurse headed their way. Santana cursed internally. She knew she could bring Quinn back from this place in her head faster and better than any nurse could. If anything, they'd just upset her more.

"Miss Lopez?" a nurse asked. Santana recognized her as one of the nurses trying to coax Quinn out of the bathroom not 20 minutes earlier.

"What?" Santana snapped. Quinn flinched at her voice and Santana cursed herself internally again. She looked up at the nurse with a kind face and instantly regretted snapping at her. "Sorry," she said.

"That's alright honey. We'd really like to examine your sister. I know the police will be here soon to get some information, but if you two," the nurse looked between her and Rachel, "would like to follow me, we can get your sister into a private area for an examination."

Santana nodded and felt Rachel nod beside her through her shock.

"Sweetie?" the nurse said approaching Quinn.

"Um, sorry," Santana began. "I think it'll be better if I do this part." She sat back down on the chair next to Quinn unsure of when she even stood up. She dipped her own head to try and make eye contact with the blonde. "Quinn? You want to come and-"

"I need to take a shower."

Santana was surprised by Quinn's sudden statement, but was happy she was starting to communicate. "Yeah, yeah that's fine. Let's get up and we'll go somewhere you can shower, okay?"

She could feel Rachel and the nurse staring at the scene before them. She wondered if Quinn could too. The blonde nodded her head and slowly lowered her feet to the floor. Slowly she began to stand and Santana once again felt the overwhelming need to physically touch her sister.

"I'm gonna help you, okay? It's just me, I'm just going to put my arm on your back."

She waited for some type of response from Quinn, but when nothing came, she gently put her hand on her sister's back, the other hand gently grazing her arm to help guide her. At a painstakingly slow pace, they followed the nurse, whose name Santana learned was Deb, into a room a new room on the floor. Rachel pushed herself into the room first and pulled back the covers on the bed so Quinn could climb in. Santana watched as, for the first time, Quinn raised her eyes to meet someone else's. She saw withdrawn hazel eyes meet a pair of hopeful brown. The exchange was brief, but Santana knew that despite their fiercely hot and cold relationship, Quinn was hugely protective of Rachel and the two were closer than either of them would let on. The brief eye contact confirmed to Santana that her sister was still inside the catatonic body in front of her and she was doing her best to be strong for Rachel's sake.

Quinn averted her eyes just as quickly as they had met Rachel's and seemed to have found interest in her shoes. "Shower.." she whispered.

Santana softly rubbed Quinn's back. "Yeah, you can shower. Do you want me to help?"

The nurse cut in before Quinn could respond. "Actually, sweetheart, it's best you hold off on showering until we've given you a proper exam."

Immediately, Quinn began to cry. "No... please.. I need to get it off.. I need.. please." Her voice was quiet and desperate and it tore at Santana's heart. Rachel was crying again.

"Just let her shower!" the small brunette cried.

"Rachel don't yell, it's okay," Santana shushed her. She brought Rachel into a hug as the girl continued to cry.

Santana noticed Quinn had yet to sit down on the bed. She was instead shifting her weight between her feet and humming again. Deb took this as her chance to explain to Quinn, as well as Santana and Rachel, what to expect next. She explained how they'd like to perform a rape kit, which allowed the hospital to collect evidence against their father to use in a trial if need be, and test Quinn for any diseases and treat her for any other injuries as well as provide emergency contraception. Santana hung on every word. Sure, she had seen a million episodes of Law and Order: SVU and Grey's Anatomy, but this was real life and she needed to understand what the plan was.

"Normally, notifying the police is up to the victim, but since it occurred here on hospital grounds with witnesses, we are forced to report the crime. I know talking about this won't be easy for any of you, but they will be coming and speaking to you," Deb finished kindly. "Her name is Quinn, right?" Deb asked Santana. She nodded. Deb approached the blonde girl and sat on the bed so she could look up and make eye contact with Quinn.

"Quinn, sweetheart, I know you're scared, but I promise you it's going to be okay. The sooner we can do this exam, the sooner you can shower and change, alright? Your sister can stay with you if that's what you'd like," she said.

Santana hadn't even thought of not being in the room every step of the way with Quinn, but Deb's words forced her to actually think about it. She wasn't sure she'd be strong enough not to breakdown watching her sister go through it.

Quinn hadn't responded, but Deb told Santana and Rachel to try and convince their sister that doing the exam first and quickly would only be beneficial. She left the room to give the girls some privacy, stating she'd be back to check in on them in a few minutes. Quinn had managed to sit on the very edge of the bed and had put her Cheerios jacket fully on and zipped up.

"I'm gonna call Brittany," Santana told Rachel. "And please don't argue, Rachel. You've been so amazing today, I can't even tell you how proud I am of you. I just need you to help me, and you'll help me if you go with Britt, alright?" She was relieved when her sister silently nodded her head.

Santana stood just outside the doorway of the room and dialed Brittany. Her mind was a blur of thoughts and emotions as she explained that Quinn had ditched Glee to visit their mom and had instead wound up getting attacked. Though she wanted to tell Brittany it was a sexual attack at the hands of their father, some things were better left said in person. Santana needed to buy herself a few extra minutes before unloading her deepest life secrets on her girlfriend. Brittany, ever the saint too good for this world, agreed to head straight to the hospital and bring Rachel back to her house, alerting her parents of the situation while on the phone with Santana. After the exchange of 'I love you's, Santana strolled back into Quinn's room. Quinn was still sitting on the bed humming, with Rachel next to her.

"She's going to be okay, right, San?"

Santana took a deep breath and offered her sister a closed mouth smile. "I think she will, yeah."

After a beat of silence Rachel spoke again. "What was happening? What did Daddy do to her?"

Though Santana had vowed earlier to have this conversation with Rachel, she was too much on overload to do it now.

"Listen, I will explain everything to you. Everything. Just not right now... there's so much happening Rachel, it wouldn't even be fair to you to hear it right now," Santana said.

"Nothing is ever the right time with me. I'm not a baby anymore," said Rachel with frustration. The was doing her best to keep her voice quiet despite her annoyance.

Santana was on the brink of exploding. Her emotions were all over the place, Brittany was going to find out her worst secrets within the hour, the cops were coming, Quinn needed to have a rape kit performed, and she simply couldn't bare having the sex talk with her eight-year-old sister.

"We are not having this conversation, Rachel. We will. Soon. But not right now, there's too much going on. You want to be treated like an adult? Act like one, and let this go," she said. Her conscience was screaming at her, but she couldn't deal with Rachel right now when Quinn was still spaced out and humming to herself. She refused to make eye contact with Rachel, whose silence she took as acceptance. Santana moved forward and sat next to Quinn on the bed.

"Q? You have to let the doctors check you out," Santana spoke gently. "Brittany's going to come pick up Rachel and then we can do the exam. I'll be right there every step of the way, okay?"

Quinn stopped humming and looked at Santana for the first time. Santana felt herself choke up meeting Quinn's broken eyes. "I don't want Brittany to know," the blonde said in a small voice.

Santana nodded. "I know. Don't worry, she doesn't know what happened. Just that there was an incident." She paused briefly giving Quinn space before starting again. "You need to have the exam. It's going to help keep Dad far away from all of us. He will not touch you again, understand?" Santana was trying to convince Quinn, but she also needed to convince herself. They couldn't keep fighting him anymore.

She was relieved when Quinn nodded in agreement and surprised when she spoke up again. "Rachel?" she asked without looking at her little sister. "Can I talk to Santana for a second? Alone?" Her voice broke on the last word trying to hold in the tears. Without a word, Rachel sighed and made to leave the room.

"Wait right outside the door, Rachel. Don't wander anywhere," Santana told her. Rachel again silently nodded and slowly left the room. Santana felt guilty and she knew Rachel was going to give her the silent treatment until things were made clearer to her, but she was too afraid to have her go too far. She turned back to Quinn and asked a question she already knew the answer to. "You okay?"

The question hung awkwardly in the air. She knew Quinn wasn't okay. Santana herself wasn't okay, but it felt odd not asking her. The older girl was taken aback when the floodgates opened and Quinn threw herself into Santana's lap sobbing. The blonde buried her face into Santana's thigh and clung onto her sister for dear life. The older girl gently tried to shush her sister and rubbed her back comfortingly. "Shh, it's okay," was the only thing Santana could manage to say. She was so used to being able to fix problems by throwing herself into the fire instead of Quinn or Rachel. There was always something she could say or do or lie about to make things better, but this was different. She felt supremely useless. Had it been anyone else in the situation, Santana would tell them that simply being there for their sister was enough, but she didn't feel that way at all.

There was also the fact that Quinn was not an overly emotional person. When she was angry you knew it, but sadness was an emotion Quinn did her best to suppress. Santana knew she and Quinn both often shielded their sadness with anger, but to see such raw emotion from her sister was enough to make Santana breakdown too. She could feel Quinn's tears soaking through her own Cheerios skirt.

"I'm so sorry, Quinn. I'm so fucking sorry," she cried as her own tears began to fall. "Tell me what to do... I.. he's gone. They cuffed him and he can't hurt you anymore. Just.. what can I do to make it better?"

She heard Quinn attempt to speak through her sobs, but the sound was muffled since the blonde didn't lift her head from her sister's lap. Santana pulled some of Quinn's hair out of the way. "Hmmm?"

"I just.. want to shower.." she trailed off with a hiccup.

"I know. You will, so soon. Just a little while longer."

"No!" Quinn yelled angrily as she began to sit up. Her face was red and tear-stained, her breathing labored. "I can feel him, Santana! There's stuff between my ... I can feel.. and.. I-I'm gonna-"

Santana knew a puke face when she saw one. With unnaturally quick reflexes, she snatched the trash pail from the corner and held it in front of Quinn just in the nick of time. The blonde vomited into the pail and the sound was enough to bring Rachel back in.

"Quinn?"

"Not now, Rachel," snapped Santana.

"It's fine," Quinn said, calling off Santana's attack. "I'm okay."

"You are?"

Quinn vomited again, unable to answer Rachel, but providing her with an answer all the same. Santana handed Quinn a few tissues to help clean her face.

"Can I hold your hand?" Rachel asked Quinn innocently as she sat next to her sister.

Quinn turned her hand so the palm was up, allowing Rachel to place hers on top. Santana took the blonde's other hand and held it in her own. They stayed that way, Quinn sandwiched between her sisters on the bed, for an undetermined amount of time. They listened to each other's breathing, each lost in their own thoughts, not caring about the wretched smell coming from the trashcan nearby. That's how Deb found them, Brittany in tow.

"Hi girls, I seem to have found a friend of yours."

Santana knew Quinn didn't want to see Brittany. She quickly jumped up and met her girlfriend at the doorway before she could fully enter the room. "Hey," she said breathlessly.

"Hi.." Brittany's voice was hesitant. Santana had told her Quinn was attacked but wasn't sure of any of the other circumstances.

Santana hurried around the room making sure Rachel had her backpack, coat, and hat before quickly ushering her over to Brittany. She adored Brittany, but the other girl's presence was suddenly making her act abnormal. She was so used to jumping into defense mode that she was trying to make this situation normal. She wasn't ready for Brittany to learn the reality of her family's situation. Brittany had tried getting her stop hustling around the room, but Santana kept shrugging her off. Especially when she asked if she could see Quinn.

"Sorry, Britt, she's fine just a little shaken up. It's getting late and I'm sure Rachel has homework if you can just let her do it at your house. I'll stop by and bring her home tonight," she was speaking a mile a minute and her voice sounded foreign on her own ears.

"Are you sure? I mean.. she can just stay over San, it's no big deal. I- I had to tell my parents your mom was in the hospital. I just said she was sick and now they know Quinn's here too... my mom really wanted to come but I convinced her she didn't need to. She wasn't happy, but I know you need this."

Santana reached out and kissed Brittany full on the mouth. "I love you for that. I love you for so many things, but especially that. Please don't tell her anything."

It took a lot to get Brittany frustrated, but Santana could tell she was doing a good job of getting her girlfriend angry. "I'll try, Santana, but it's hard. She's my mom," she said with a sigh. "Look," she said quietly so Rachel and Quinn couldn't hear. "I don't know what's going on, but I think we're getting to the point where you have to tell me." Santana opened her mouth to speak, but Brittany continued. "I won't ask. I'll bring Rachel home and do my best. I know you'll come to me when you're ready. Tell Quinn I love her and if there's anything I can do, I'm a text away. Come on, Rachel," she finished.

Santana was at a loss for words. Normally, she was the one who took control of conversations. Or maybe it was just because her life was such a clusterfuck that she was always the one needing to have the serious conversations. Rachel, Santana noticed, hadn't gotten up or even let go of Quinn's hand during the entire exchange with Brittany. Reluctantly, the little girl stood, squeezing Quinn's hand in support. The blonde didn't look up or give her sister any acknowledgement. Santana gave her sister a bear hug and kissed her on the head. "I promise I will tell you everything," she said.

Rachel nodded and looked back at Quinn one more time. "I love you, Quinn."

At this, Quinn looked up and whispered the words back. It seemed to be all Rachel needed to go with Brittany without argument. Santana watched them go and was ready to have some time with Quinn before realizing that Deb was still standing in the room. The kind nurse must have seen the surprise on Santana's face. "You're a wonderful sister. I didn't mean to intrude, but it's time we get this exam over with for Quinn's sake."

The next hour was a blur. Santana did her best to remain calm and managed to help Quinn slip into a hospital gown. She couldn't help but notice the wetness and what she knew was semen, on her sister's thighs. She tried not to look, she knew it wasn't fair to Quinn, but she couldn't help but notice the redness of the skin on Quinn's thighs and backside. She forced herself to look away and tie the string on the gown. She helped a shaky Quinn lay down in her bed and then pressed the call button to alert the nurse's station they were ready.

A pair of nurses came in wheeling a small table of tools and supplies with them. She felt Quinn immediately tense up next her. Santana squeezed her hand and reminded her it would be okay. Thankfully, Deb had placed a paper barrier at Quinn's waist separating the sister's from viewing what was happening on the other side. Time had never moved slower in Santana's mind. With her own tears threatening to spill over, she continued to hold Quinn's hand as her feet were placed in stirrups and the nurses began collecting samples and evidence. Quinn was silently crying, letting out small yelps of pain any time a nurse warned her of pressure. The hushed voices of the nurses collecting evidence, and calling for a speculum and wipes were irritating Santana to no end. One particularly loud, painful cry from Quinn brought out the bear in her.

"Be gentle! God!" Santana yelled. She couldn't help it. Her face was burning and it felt like the room was on fire. She wanted to leave and get fresh air so she could breathe, but she couldn't leave Quinn alone. She looked down at her sister and choked back a sob. She was fourteen and her father had raped her. How did this become her reality? Where had she gone so wrong that she couldn't protect her anymore? Why hadn't Quinn just gone to Glee? No, she thought. This wasn't Quinn's fault. It was Leroy's. The image of his face in her mind made her face burn hotter. The room was beginning to spin and her grip on Quinn's hand was slackening.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" she heard a nurse in pink scrubs ask.

"Umm.. yeah. I just think I need water," Santana answered. Her eyes were darting around the room looking anywhere but at her sister's scrunched up face. Her mouth was dry.

"There's a filter just outside the room to your right, honey. It's okay if you need a break. We'll be right here."

She was hot and lightheaded. The news of water so close assured Santana that if she could just get a sip, she could make it through the rest of Quinn's exam strong. She made a step towards the door and was immediately met with opposition.

"NO!" Quinn yelled. "Santana, please!" Santana could see Quinn's legs thrashing around as much as the stirrups would let them. The nurses attempted to calm the younger girl, but she continued to scream. It reminded Santana of earlier in the day when her mother was screaming just the same way. It made everything worse. The noises in the room were fading in and out and if she didn't get water, she knew she'd pass out. The nurse in pink scrubs seemed to sense this. She got up from her place a Quinn's feet and forced Santana down into a bedside chair. The sisters hands never parting. The nurse quickly got a plastic cup of water and gave it to Santana. She was instantly able to breathe easier and felt her temperature cooling.

"Santana..." Quinn's eyes were closed, but tears fell from the corners. Santana found the strength to stand up and gently wiped blonde hair out of Quinn's face.

"I'm here, it's okay. I'm sorry. You're okay.."

The exam was finished and Santana and Deb helped Quinn to the showers to wash herself. Though she was offered help, Quinn insisted on doing it herself with Santana waiting just outside. It was going on 30 minutes of waiting for Quinn when she got a text from Brittany.

"Everything ok?"

Santana sighed and put her phone in the pocket of her Cheerios jacket without answering. She just wanted to focus on the present moment. She felt like she hadn't slept in days and while she was grateful for the potential distraction, she wasn't up for texting about anything yet. At the same time, she felt her other pocket vibrate and remembered Deb had given it to when she escorted them to Quinn's room earlier. Curious, she took out the phone and saw Puck's name flash across the screen notifying her of a text. She rolled her eyes at the thought of the mohawked boy and put Quinn's phone back in her pocket as well.

She was about to knock on the door to the shower to check on Quinn when Deb approached pushing her mother in a wheelchair. For the hundredth time that day, she took a deep breath. Earlier, she had seen glimpses of the mother she knew still existed inside the woman Shelby had become. She prayed the sedation didn't scare that part of her away.

"Mom," Santana said. She felt an overwhelming need to hug her. She was so used to comforting Quinn or Rachel or Brittany that she was often starved of maternal comfort herself. "Are you.. How do you feel?"

Shelby's face was pale and drawn, but her eyes were wild and electrifying. "Where is Quinn?" She demanded.

The fact that her mother had asked about Quinn and not brushed off what had happened or continued to talk about herself gave Santana so much hope. She felt lighter than she had all day. It was pathetic, the thought that Shelby would possibly not ask about Quinn, but it had always been their reality.

"She's taking a shower. She was itching to.. you know, wash up."

Shelby's eyes seemed to grow wider with each word. "No. No, they should've tested her first." She turned to Deb. "Why didn't you test her? You have to! Don't you know how to treat a rape victim?"

Santana was about to scold and correct her mother, but Deb beat her to it. "Mrs. Lopez, please calm down," she said in a soft voice. "You were sedated and out of it for a bit. We performed a rape kit on Quinn. She was so strong. You should be very proud."

Instead of relief, Santana saw her mother grow even more agitated. "You did a rape kit on my daughter and didn't think to come get me? I'm her mother! I should have been there!"

"Mrs. Lopez, you were sedated. The sooner we do exams of this nature, the more beneficial it is to everyone involved. Your other daughter was with Quinn every step of the way."

A few stray visitors were beginning to stare. Shelby was shaking her head back and forth quickly in disbelief. "You let a child watch another child get a rape kit? What the hell is wrong with you?" She shifted her attention to Santana. "Where's Rachel?"

"She's at Brittany's house. I didn't want her to be around for everything."

"Damnit, Santana! I'm her mother, not you! I could have made arrangements for her."

Not for the first time that day, Santana snapped. "You could have, Mom? When? When you were unconscious in a hospital bed? Chugging down liquor in the house? While your husband beat your kids? Raped Quinn?" The heat was rising back into her face. "If you wanted to be a mother, you would have been one each and every time I begged you to do something to help, but you refused! Blinded by whatever godforsaken love you have for h-"

Her mother opened her mouth wide to object when the door to the shower room opened. Quinn emerged wearing a sweatsuit and gripped sicks loaned to her from the hospital. The rest of her belongings were in a plastic bag Deb had given to her before she entered. Quinn looked between her mother, Santana, and Deb before leaning into her sister. She was quiet and seemingly unphased by her mother's presence.

Another nurse approached Deb to inform her that police had arrived. Like zombies, the three Lopez women were led to Quinn's room, the previous fight forgotten. Quinn refused to leave Santana's side and the two sat side by side on her bed. Shelby remained in her wheelchair. Mere moments passed and two police officers entered the room. In that moment, Santana knew life as she knew was about to come crashing down.

 **Well there we have it! As I've said before, this story is a slow mover, but it's for a reason. It's important to me to establish relationships and personalities in as realistic a way as possible. PLEASE REVIEW if you can. They truly inspire me and always encourage me to write.**

 **bproofmgmt- Thank YOU for reading!**

 **MaudeLebowski- It's totally gut-wrenching. Everything gets worse before it gets better. Hope you like this update!**

 **playitcool- If only it were easy, right? Lots to come..**

 **beaner008- As one of my favorite authors, you know more than anyone there's always more on the horizon!**

 **Andi- Thank you so much for reviewing! Hope you enjoy this update!**

 **Nelly- I adore detailed reviews like yours. Thank you so much for taking the time! It was a super intense chapter, and the girls definitely deserve a hug from you!**

 **clj7- It was a very intense chapter, thank you for reading!**

 **rainbowbright108- I truly hope you weren't triggered too badly. This is a serious story that I'm going to do my best to tell truthfully. Harsh details and all. I so appreciate you reading!**

 **Guest- Thank you!**

 **sillystarshinee- The last chapter was very intense, thank you. I so appreciate you reading. More to come!**


	11. Chapter 11

Santana watched from the doorway as her mother spoke with a detective down the hall from Quinn's room. They had attempted to speak to her sister first, but she had refused. Eventually, they gave into her and agreed to speak to her mother instead. Even from the distance Santana could see the stress evident on her mother's face and in her eyes from the creases on her forehead. She sat in the wheelchair with her head in her hands telling the detective things Santana only wished she could hear. She wasn't sure what she thought of God anymore since her recent discovery earlier in the day that he was indeed a sick fuck, but if he was there, she prayed her mother took the side of her children and not her husband.

Quinn coughed and it reminded Santana that she was actually in the presence of others. She turned to look at her sister, who had refused to leave more than six inches between them since showering, and offered a small smile. She had so many questions for Quinn but wasn't sure when to ask them. Or how. Or if she even should at all. This entire situation was above Santana's head. She was drowning.

Before she could ask Quinn if she was alright, Deb slowly approached Santana. "Sweetheart, I have a question. Would you mind stepping just outside with me?"

The woman was kind, but Santana couldn't hide her eye roll. She wanted this day to be over. She didn't want to talk to the cops and she really didn't feel talking to the nurse. At Deb's question, Quinn's eyes locked with Santana's in a plea not to go.

"Sorry, but can it wait? Everyone apparently has all these questions and I really don't want to leave Quinn." She shuffled away from the doorway and into the chair next to Quinn's bed.

"Then perhaps I should just ask it to both of you.." Deb trailed off. Santana was getting frustrated.

"Look, either ask the question or get out!"

"Santana.." Quinn warned quietly from the bed.

"What it is like at home?"

The question left Deb's mouth probably louder than intended, Santana figured, and it hung in the air unanswered. Both sisters remained quiet. Quinn sunk further into her bed, and Santana froze in shock. She knew the question would be asked by the police. Mr Schue had even alluded to it earlier in the day, but to hear it so bluntly asked by a stranger with no basis, shook her. Defense kicked in.

"What are you talking about? Home is fucking great. Upper West Side, nice silverware, a place to sleep. I can't complain. What is it like at home for you, Deb?" Santana spat. Was this woman serious right now?

The nurse quietly continued. "Santana, maybe it was heat of the moment, but you said some things to your mother earlier. Accused of her things that would be very concerning if they were true. The police.. they're going to ask me things too since I was there when we found your father. I just want to look out for you girls. I hope you'll be honest about whatever your situation is when you speak to the detectives," she said. Without leaving time for an answer, she left the room and returned to the nurses station.

Santana absentmindedly began flipping her phone over in her hands. She hadn't even been aware that Deb was standing two feet away when she screamed at her mother about her behavior earlier. The facade she had worked nearly her entire life to keep had just about fallen away in mere seconds in front of stranger because she couldn't keep her anger in check. When had she lost that much control?

"Fuck," she said aloud. Quinn stayed quiet and Santana didn't attempt to engage her in conversation. She didn't know what to say and her mind couldn't fit another single thought inside it without exploding. She was trying to stay focused on the present issues- Quinn, the police, her mother- but focusing on those things instantly made her focus on the future- court, hearings, college- and those were things she couldn't bear to think about. As someone who grew up finding the control in her life, losing control over the important things was unfathomable.

Quinn and Rachel were always supposed to be things she could control. Not in the bad way of course, but she could keep them safe. Now, not only had she not kept them safe, but Rachel had been exposed to some ridiculously mature issues and Quinn... Quinn would probably never be the same again.

"I can hear you thinking," her blonde sister said, sitting up slightly.

"Are you okay?" Santana asked for what felt like the millionth time. Or maybe that was just the amount of times she wondered in her head. Regardless, she knew the answer was a hard no.

Quinn answered with a silence and played with her hands before speaking up.

"Do you have my phone?"

This caught Santana off guard. Who was she about to text and tell about this? Surely she wouldn't want anyone to know. Then it hit her.

"Yes, I have it, but no way in hell are texting Puck about what's going on!"

Quinn looked at her with a hurt look on her face and Santana instantly regretted yelling at her. "I'm sorry. I just saw he texted you and I don't think-"

"I just want my music, Santana," Quinn whispered, her eyes welling with tears. "Please."

The feeling of guilt instantly intensified in the older girl. She handed over her sister's phone, who didn't even bother checking the multiple texts she had. She played some Beethoven on low volume and the sound still managed to fill the room. Santana had no idea when Quinn took a liking to classical music. It may have worked to calm her, but it only made Santana antsy. It reminded her only of terrible memories caused by their father. Her heart sunk when she realized just how many memories of classical music she had. Maybe she hadn't done as good a job protecting her sisters as she always thought she had..

They sat in silence as the soft sounds of Beethoven continued to put Quinn at ease and Santana on edge. After a few minutes, their mother was wheeled back into the room by a nurse with the two detectives behind them. Santana took a proper look at them. One was older and rounder with streaks of grey in his hair, the other was younger, maybe in his mid 30's with brown hair and a serious face. They asked to speak to Quinn who reluctantly agreed. Everyone else was asked to leave the room. Santana had expected Quinn to fight for her to stay, but she was silent. Shelby ensured they kept the door to Quinn's room open the entire time.

"I don't like the idea of two men interviewing her," she said. The crazed look she held in her eyes earlier was no longer there. She would, in this moment, appear to outsiders as a good and genuine mother. Normal.

Santana didn't like it either and agreed with her mother. She made sure to hover as close to the door as possible without getting too close that someone would yell at her. She felt now was as good a time as ever to get on the same page as her mother, before she once again clicked into depression mode and was unable to think for herself.

"Before," she began abruptly. "Before we found Quinn and Rachel and I went into your room. You started to say 'it was never supposed to be this way.' What did you mean?" She watched as her mother looked at her, and as if Santana's gaze burned her, deflected her eyes away.

"You always were so blunt and direct weren't you?" The woman was trying to diffuse the tension, but Santana's eyes continued to bore into her mother demanding answers. Sensing this, Shelby met her daughters eyes. "I... your father wasn't always like this," she said. Santana snorted. Shelby continued, "The first time he hit me was when I was pregnant with you, Santana, and I just.. I don't know. I never thought it was one of those situations you hear about. You watch movies and read books and you think 'why would that woman stay with that man? If someone hit me once, I'd leave him!' But it isn't that black and white. I know you think that it is.. but there were good memories too, Santana."

Santana couldn't remember the last time she had a serious conversation with her mother while she lucid. It had been years. The last big conversations she could remember having were when her mother had to explain to her that Quinn had a different father, and how to help take care of a baby when she was pregnant with Rachel. And now, she could add the true history of her father's abuse to the list. It was sad that in some aspects, Santana felt like she was talking to a stranger.

"It should be black and white when he starts hitting your kids, Mom," she said.

Her mother's voice sounded full and deep, like she was trying to keep from crying. "No... he.. it was only me. He couldn't have.."

The rage roller coaster Santana had been on all day was coming to it's highest peak, she could feel it. She knew she couldn't lash out at her mother without causing a scene. She bent down toward her mother in the wheelchair and very lowly whispered, "I don't care if you're in denial or shock. You knew what he was doing in that apartment. You heard it. And now, he rapes your own daughter and you still can't admit what he's done? Are you-"

"Santana, stop!" Shelby quietly cried back. Tears were now falling from her eyes. "I saw exactly what you did today! She's your sister, but she's my baby! I want to rip that bastard limb from limb for what he did to her, but I'll never be able to. Don't you see? I can't control him. Every time I would fight him, he'd threaten me with one of you girls. I could never risk that."

"Don't _you_ see, Mom?! He did it anyway. He's been doing it for years! Jesus Christ, I was seven the first time he hit me. I was in first grade and was scared someone would ask me about the marks on my arms from his belt. I... I asked you, begged you, so many times to leave. Why didn't you ever listen?"

"I was trying the other day," she whispered.

"What?" Santana asked, partially because she couldn't hear her mother, and partially because she was in shock if what she thought she heard was true.

"He wasn't home and so.. I.. packed just a few things of mine. Some shirts from each of your dressers. And your school photos from over the years. Everything else I just figured we could pick up." Santana listened to her mother. She was hanging on every word. "The only good thing life ever gave me, was you girls. So naturally, with my awful luck, your father came home. It took him seconds to realize what I was doing since a bag was half packed. I tried to trick him and say I was cleaning.. it was stupid and made no sense, but I was scared. So he.. did what he does best and tried to hurt me. Next thing I can tell you I'm waking up here. Fast forward, what? A day? And he's got my daughter.. he.." the woman took a deep breath to steady herself. "Did he ever do this to you?"

Santana shook her head immediately. "No."

"And Rachel?"

She shook her head again. "No." She refrained from telling her mother the small piece of information Rachel had revealed to her earlier about their father touching her for a fleeting second 'down there'.

Shelby nodded gratefully. "Oh God. What did she see?"

"She saw everything. She's confused and scared. I'm trying my best, but it's getting really hard."

"I am an awful mother," Shelby said.

Santana didn't answer or tell her she was wrong. Frankly, she was absolutely correct, but there was nothing else Santana could say. Her mother deserved to sit in that reality for awhile. If she had stepped up years ago, her daughters wouldn't be subjected to abuse, that now included forced sex. That sick fucker up in the sky was really testing her.

It wasn't long before the two detectives emerged from Quinn's room looking slightly discouraged. Quinn had chosen not to give them much information aside from a nod yes or no to their questions. While they were happy to have gotten some answers from her which would suffice, they informed Shelby that Quinn should definitely see a therapist to get her through the trauma, and that opening up would only help her in the future. Shelby nodded grateful for the advice, and before Santana knew it, she was back in the waiting area she had been a few hours ago with her sisters. Only this time she was sitting across from two detectives.

"I'm sorry for what happened today," the older, rounder officer said. "I know that had to have been incredibly difficult."

Santana snorted and shook her head in disbelief. The older officer, whose name tag read O'Malley shared a glance with Shields, the younger officer. O'Malley continued. "You're not gonna give us the same silent treatment your sister did, are you?" He was trying to make her smile and show that they were on her side, but Santana didn't take the bait.

"My sister wasn't giving you the silent treatment. My father raped her and she's scared out of her damn mind," she said with narrowed eyes. "Maybe instead of accusing us of being difficult, you could take a second to understand what we've been through the last few hours."

O'Malley shifted in his seat and leaned forward toward Santana with a genuine look on his face. "We didn't mean to accuse anybody of being difficult. Unfortunately, we deal with cases like this on a regular basis. Your sister was helpful and did a great job. We just have a few questions for you that will help us move forward."

"Santana, what's your family dynamic? Is your Dad in charge? Mom? How does everyone get along?"

Santana gave a sarcastic laugh under her breath. When the officers looked at her expectantly, she took a steadying breath. This was the moment she'd been trying to avoid forever. She knew she had to be careful, otherwise she and her sisters would for sure be separated, she knew it. Not to mention her family's dirty laundry would be aired out to the entire school and Upper West Side of New York City.

"I wouldn't say my Mom was ever in charge."

"So, it was your Dad who set the rules then?"

"Yep," she said, popping the 'p'.

Shields continued. "How would you describe your relationship with your father?"

This made Santana pause and think. So many words came rushing into her head. Hateful. Toxic. Sad. Anxious. Cruel.

When they received no response, O'Malley and Shields both made notes in their little books. Santana wanted to burn them.

"We don't get along," she said.

"Any reason? Did he ever show signs of anger or abuse before today?"

She remained quiet and slowly nodded her head yes.

"Was he ever violent toward Quinn before today?"

Another nod.

"You have another sister, was he ever violent towards her?"

She shook her head no.

"What about to you?"

Her chest felt heavy and the space suddenly felt hot. She was back in Quinn's exam all over again. She closed her eyes to steady herself, but the heat kept rising in her face.

 _"SHELBY!"_

 _The door to the apartment hadn't even opened, yet fourteen-year-old Santana could hear her father from the hall. She couldn't remember anything going wrong today. Everyone had come home from school and Quinn and Rachel playing in the bedroom. Her mother had complained of a headache earlier and went to lie down. She asked Santana to make dinner, and Santana happily agreed. She liked to cook and she knew her father would be happy to come home to a warm meal waiting for him. Everyone was home on time and she couldn't think of a reason her father would be angry. She gripped the oven mit in her hand._

 _Leroy barged through the apartment door, tossing his briefcase aside and made a beeline for the kitchen. "Shelby- what the fuck are you making? I can smell it from the elevator! This is a classy neighborhood, they don't need my family stinking up the place," he spat._

 _He laid eyes on Santana and confusion settled onto his face._

 _"Where is your mother?"_

 _"She didn't feel well. She's laying down."_

 _"And who said you could use the oven?"_

 _Santana met his gaze, unafraid and confident. She didn't notice the thing layer of smoke wafting out of the oven._

 _"Mom did. She asked if I could make dinner since she felt sick. I know how to make meatloaf and this way we don't have to get takeout," she said._

 _Without a word, Leroy grabbed Santana's unprotected hand, opened the oven, placed it on the 425 degree rack, and held it there. Santana screamed in pain. It was unlike anything she had ever felt before. She'd accidentally burned her hand on a curling iron, but nothing compared to this. She felt the heat flare up throughout her whole body. Tears left her eyes like waterfalls. Once Leroy had enough, he pulled her to an upright position and smacked her across the face._

 _"Shut up! This is what you get for cooking unsupervised. You could've set the house on fire and no one would've been here to save you. Is that what you want, Santana? To burn the apartment down?"_

 _Tears were streaming down her face. Unbeknownst to her, the noise had brought 10-year-old Quinn and 4-year-old Rachel out of their room and to the kitchen. Leroy noticed them first and made an example out of Santana. He gripped her brown her tight and pulled her head down._

 _"Now, see girls?" he said to the younger ones. "If Mommy can't cook and Daddy isn't around to watch, you could set the building on fire. That deserves punishment. Do you promise to never use the kitchen without Daddy around?" He tried to sound kind and caring, but he still held Santana's hair in a death grip. She could see Quinn push Rachel behind her and nod her head in agreement with her father. "Good. Now go back to your room and let me punish your sister."_

 _Rachel's little body ran from the kitchen back to the bedroom. Quinn followed her slowly, her eyes staying on Santana's until she was forced to break contact. Santana let out a breath, happy her sisters were gone. Her father squeezed her upper arm tightly. "Clean this place up and go get your mother. We're going out to eat."_

"Santana?"

Shields' sharp voice broke her out of the memory. "Was he ever violent toward you?" he repeated.

She cleared her throat and took a breath. "Yeah, he was. Sometimes."

"Sometimes?" O'Malley questioned.

As the heat in her face cooled down, defensive Santana returned. "Yes, sometimes. It's nothing compared to what he did to Quinn today. Are we done here?"

"Almost," O'Malley said. "Santana, your mother told us your father could be violent towards her, but she wasn't aware of any violence toward your or her sisters. How did he act in front of your mother?"

She thought she had reached the peak of her rage roller coaster earlier when she confronted her mother, but surely this had to be it. Their mother lied to the police.

"He was terrible to her too. But now, I'm pretty positive she deserved whatever shitty deck of cards she got dealt."

Without room for argument, she stood up and made her way back to Quinn's room, where an unfamiliar woman now stood at the foot of her bed, their mother beside her. Santana couldn't bring herself to look at her mother. The rage and hatred she held inside of her was too much. If this unknown woman wasn't here, she was sure she'd lose it. She just wanted to go home. It was getting late and she wasn't sure head legs, head, or heart could take any more.

She caught the tail end of what the woman was saying. Apparently, this was the shrink Quinn would be seeing for the foreseeable future. Her sister didn't seem to care, in fact, she looked entirely check out. She noticed her mother holding Quinn's cell phone.

"Santana," Shelby began, "Quinn's discharge paperwork is being filed. She's okay to go. I have to stay here, but we need to find a place for you both to stay."

Santana ignored what she was saying. "Why do you have Quinn's phone?"

Shelby looked down at the phone in her hands and back at Santana. "Ms. Taylor was trying to speak to your sister and she wouldn't turn off her music. Santana, if she's going to get on the road to recovery, she can't tune out the people here to help her."

"That music _does_ help her, Mom! Jesus Christ, you are the absolute worst. You were right. You are an awful mother. Quinn and I will stay at Brittany's. You remember her right? Her mom works at the elementary school? Dad's a lawyer? Her parents are fucking normal and care more about us than you're ever going to be capable of! Fuck you. You will always defend him won't you? I thought you could change, but you can't. You're always going to be sad and pathetic," she said passionately. She tightened her pony and made her way over to Quinn.

"Come on, Q. Let's get you out of here."

"I don't want to go to Brittany's," she whispered just loud enough for Santana to hear. Her eyes stared into space.

Santana didn't want to argue, but she didn't want to lose Quinn altogether either.

"It's okay, we'll talk in the car, okay? Let's go."

She placed her arm gingerly around Quinn's waist to help steady her. Santana snatched her sister's phone from her mother's hands and without another word, the sister's made their way to the exit. She half registered the detectives talking to Deb and the small group of nurses who uncovered the disgusting scene just hours before. She pushed the thought out of her mind. If she could just get to Brittany's everything would be okay.

She flagged down a cab and the two girls got in. She gave the cab driver instructions to drop them on the corner of Brittany's apartment. Quinn instantly scooted over to Santana's side and nuzzled into her. Santana kissed the top of her sister's head, an action she gave to Rachel quite often, but never to Quinn. In this moment though, it felt natural. Quinn was so young and had just endured the worst type of abuse. She deserved love and comfort and support.

"I don't want to go to Brittany's" Quinn whispered again. Her eyes still seemed to be in a faraway place.

"Q..." Santana began. She wanted Quinn's attention. "Quinn look at me," she said. When her blonde sister did nothing but continue to stare, not even blinking, Santana sighed. She gently stroked her sister's hair. "I know you don't want to Quinn, but it's the only option we have. We can't.. we can't go home. I don't know what you told the cops, but chances are things will be weird for awhile. I want.. We can trust the Pierces. We always wanted to tell someone right? We can tell them." She felt Quinn's body begin to shake. "Sshh, it's okay. It's going to be okay." She continued to stroke Quinn's hair and comfort her shaking body until they arrived at Brittany's corner.

She paid the cab and supported Quinn's barely functioning legs to lobby. She continued on the familiar route to her girlfriend's door and knocked. Mrs. Pierce answered the door a few moments later and it wasn't until that moment that Santana realized she never called or texted Brittany with a heads up that she was coming.

"Mrs. Pierce.. hi. Um.. "

She saw the kind older woman take in the sight in front of her. She wasn't sure what Brittany had said to her mother earlier, but one look at Quinn basically said it all.

"Oh, girls," she said sadly. "Come inside."

Still supporting a shaking Quinn, Santana made her way inside, standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room. She spotted Rachel's coat and hat hanging on the coat hook near the front door. Mr. Pierce came over with an extremely concerned look on his face. He looked at Quinn, his wife, then Santana.

"Brittany and Rachel are in her room talking over some homework. Quinn, honey, would you like some water?" Mr. Pierce placed a supportive hand on the girl's waist, opposite Santana's, and all hell broke loose.

Quinn began screaming like a banshee and thrashing in Santana's arms. Mr. Pierce put his hands up in surrender and backed away to show her he meant no harm. Quinn was crying and thrashing so hard, that Santana couldn't hold her up anymore. The girl fell to her knees, and then onto her side in the fetal position at Santana's feet. Santana knelt down onto the floor next to Quinn and cradled her head in her lap. "Sshh, Quinn, it's okay! It's okay!" she said loudly. "It's just Mr. Pierce. It's okay!"

The blonde continued to sob inconsolably, oblivious to the world around her. Santana rushed to get the cell phone in Quinn's pocket and played the first classical piece she could find. Quinn showed no signs of calming down, despite Santana and Mrs. Pierce's comforting words.

Santana saw Brittany emerge from her bedroom, holding Rachel on her hip as if she was three. While her sister was certainly tiny enough to hold, she knew Brittany was only holding her because the girl was scared. The tiny brunette had tears in her eyes, but couldn't look away from her big sister on the floor. Santana looked into Brittany's eyes and tried to convey how sorry she was for bringing their hardships to her front door. She'd never forgive herself. She turned back to Quinn who was slowly calming down. Mrs. Pierce could feel the heat from her skin and gave Santana a cool washcloth to place on her sister's head, afraid to do it herself and upset her further.

She placed the cool cloth on Quinn's head and resumed stroking her hair as she had done earlier. Santana did her best to tune out the world around her and focus on her broken sister.

 _"Ssh, Quinnie it's okay," said seven-year-old Santana. Their father had just struck four-year-old Quinn with a ruler multiple times for not being able to tell time. He then proceeded to duck Santana's head underwater for the same thing. When she returned to the room she shared with her sister, she saw Quinn in the closet pressing the paw of her stuffed animal to fill the air with music. Santana had changed into pajamas and crawled into the closet with Quinn._

 _Quinn continued to press the paw of the puppy. The little girl's hazel eyes were wet with unshed tears. "The music sounds happy," she said._

 _Santana smiled, brushing her own wet hair out of her face. "Yeah, it does sound happy," she agreed. "Daddy hit you hard, are you okay?"_

 _"I'm okay," said Quinn. "You saved me, and Mr. Puppy is making me happy again"_

 _Santana giggled despite the situation and the mark on Quinn's face. "Me and Mr. Puppy will always save Quinnie! You're the princess in the tower, and every time you get stuck, me and Mr. Puppy will come to the rescue!"_

 _Quinn turned in the closet and looked at her sister with bright eyes and a smile. "Yeah! Daddy's the big bad wolf and you, me, and Mr. Puppy are the piggies! And the piggies always win!"_

She was snapped back to the present by a particularly harsh shudder. Quinn's teeth were chattering. "Sshh, it's okay Quinn. It's all going to be okay. Remember the three little pigs?" She whispered into her sister's ear. "The pigs always won right? We're still the pigs, and Dad is still the wolf. And right now, the Pierce's built the big brick house that the wolf can't get to. Sshh. You're okay," she said whispered.

She rocked Quinn until she calmed and stopped shaking about 15 minutes later, to the point where Santana thought she had fallen asleep. She was still awake, and Santana thought calm enough to bring her to the Pierce's guest bedroom where Rachel was going to sleep that night. Santana helped her off the floor, and led her to the room, Mrs. Pierce in tow. She got her sister settled and the blonde instantly fell asleep. She exited the room, and Mrs. Pierce pulled the girl into a hug.

"It's going to be okay, Santana," said the older woman. "You should rest, but we're going to have a talk tomorrow, okay?"

Santana nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat as to not cry. "Okay. Thank you. And please.. tell Mr. Pierce I'm sorry for.. what happened," she said apologetically.

Mrs. Pierce smiled sympathetically. "Honey, please don't be sorry. It's perfectly alright. You've been through a lot. He understands," she said kindly. The woman made her way back to the living room to her husband, and Santana opened the door to Brittany's room.

Brittany was sitting on her bed next to Rachel who was lying down awake. When she saw Santana enter the room, the jumped up and climbed up Santana's body so her sister was holding her in a hug, much like Brittany had a few minutes earlier. "What's going on?!" she cried.

Santana gently put her sister down and sat next to her girlfriend on the bed. "I have to tell Brittany's family everything tomorrow. I want you to be there so you can hear everything the way you deserve to, okay?"

Rachel nodded. "Is Quinn okay?"

Santana met Brittany's sad blue eyes. It was evident that after seeing Quinn, Brittany had figured out to an extent what had happened. "Not right now. She won't be for a little bit I don't think. Are you okay, Rachel?" Santana brushed the girl's bangs out of her face.

"Do you think I can sleep with Quinn? That bed is big enough..." she trailed off, hopeful.

Santana and Brittany both smiled at the younger girl. "Yeah, you can try. Just be careful okay? She's sleeping, but she's not herself."

Rachel hugged both girls and exited Brittany's room in favor of the guest room. Brittany got up, closed her door and turned back to Santana, who finally let the tears that had wanted to fall all day, fall.

"I-I'm so sor-"

"Ssshhh," Brittany said. She kissed Santana on the mouth and pulled back so they were forehead to forehead. "I love you. I love them. Whatever happened, it's going to be okay, alright?"

Santana nodded, and Brittany continued. "Are you okay?"

She brunette shook her head and cried openly. Brittany wrapped her arms around her, and for the first time all day, Santana felt comforted. No one was hounding her for questions, or accusing of her things. Brittany was safe. Brittany was home. And that thought alone, made her cry harder.

 **There's the latest chapter! I hope you all enjoyed! Please, please review and let me know what you think - it means the world!**

 **bproofmgmt- Thank you so much! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

 **Guest- Thank you very much!**

 **MaudeLebowski- So glad to hear you're emotionally invested. It's heavy content, but the story is an important one I want to tell. I'm so happy you love these girls as much as I do.**

 **KStoryteller- I'm so grateful the girls have each other and Brittany as well. The road ahead is quite long. Shelby is in a league of her own and we'll head down that path shortly.**

 **clj7- Thank you so much!**

 **beaner008- Here's some more for you! THanks for reading!**

 **Nelly- Thank you, as always for your detailed review! I love Quinn too- canon Quinn and this one. We'll hear more of what's going on in Quinn's head soon. These sisters and their relationship are so, so special.**


	12. Chapter 12

After a minor breakdown in Brittany's arms, Santana found herself as the little spoon under the covers on her girlfriend's bed. She felt Brittany's breathing even out and knew the girl had drifted to sleep about an hour ago. She owed so much to Brittany. She had tried to hide her family's demons from the tall blonde for years and was successful until now. Showing up at her door unannounced with her zombie-like little sister who then proceeded to have an episode in front of her parents was not how she envisioned telling Brittany about her issues, but it was reality. She wasn't sure what planet her girlfriend was from that she was able to remain calm and not ask the millions of questions she surely had swirling in her head. Santana shifted her hips closer to Brittany's and the blonde woke up.

"Sorry," Santana said. "Didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep."

"I wasn't sleeping," Brittany said stretching out.

Santana smirked. "Yeah, whatever you say, mouth breather."

She felt more than saw Brittany smile, and the blonde rested her head atop Santana's.

"I think I should go check on Quinn..."

Brittany adjusted so that she was sitting up with her head propped on her elbow, looking down at Santana.

"Let her rest, San. You should to."

Santana felt the all too familiar lump of tears rise in her throat, and did her best to swallow it.

Brittany continued, "Can I ask you something about what happened?"

Santana whispered a soft 'yeah' and Brittany sat all the way up. The blonde took a steadying breath in.

"You said she was assaulted but... was she.. raped?"

The last word was uttered so quietly, as if the word itself was disgusting and taboo. She could tell Brittany didn't want to believe what she already knew was true.

"Yeah," she answered.

Tears sprung to Brittany's eyes for the first time that night. "Oh my God..." Despite what she had suspected, hearing something so horrible confirmed made it actually real.

"I know," Santana said sitting up to be even with Brittany. "That's not even the worst part," she muttered under her breath.

"What do you mean?" asked the blonde. Santana answered her with a shake of her head. "Santana, tell me. I haven't pried because I know you weren't ready to talk, but this is serious. Do your parents know? Did they get who did it?"

This time, when the sob rose up in Santana's throat, she couldn't stop it. "My parents are garbage, Britt. Literal trash."

Brittany's eyebrows furrowed together. "What do you mean?" she asked again.

"I mean my fucking Dad did this to her!" she shouted. "Quinn ditched Glee to visit my Mom in the hospital and he must've been there too and we just.. we got there and he had her in the bathroom and..." she couldn't finish. She refused to meet Brittany's eyes. She was sure the other girl would want nothing to do with her now that she knew the type of person her father was. Who would ever want to even be friends with someone who came from such filth, let alone date them?

"Your... Dad..?"

Santana threw the covers off of her and paced around Brittany's room. "Fuck, there was semen and-and blood on her legs, Brittany! There was- th- I saw it! I saw him doing it. And I was too late. We knew something was going on, but we didn't know it was Quinn and we waited for help and.. FUCK. Why didn't I just open the door? I could've gotten her out!"

She was aware she was now yelling at full voice somewhere around midnight, but she couldn't control herself. Brittany attempted to pull her into an embrace but Santana shrugged her off. The tall blonde eventually won, and grabbed Santana's arms. "Listen to me, Santana. You couldn't have done anything, okay? This is NOT your fault."

"I'm supposed to protect them," Santana answered defeated.

Brittany shook her head. "But not from your dad. Things like this aren't supposed to happen. It's not your job."

"Then whose is it?!" she yelled. At that moment, the door opened and Mr. and Mrs. Pierce appeared. "I'm sorry," she said immediately quieter.

"I don't think anyone is getting much sleep tonight," said Mrs. Pierce with kind eyes. Brittany had the same ones, and Santana loved them. "Santana, I'm sorry, but maybe we should have that talk now."

Santana didn't have any fight left in her. She didn't want to deny Mrs. Pierce what she knew would come out eventually. The older woman took a seat on her daughter's bed and motioned for Santana to join her. Brittany took Santana's other side and Mr. Pierce stood near the door to keep an ear out in case Rachel or Quinn stirred.

"Honey," the blonde woman began. "We just want to help you. We aren't going to judge you or do anything drastic. I have a feeling there's slightly more than what's on the surface.."

Santana could've scoffed with sarcasm if she had the energy. There was clearly way more than what was on the surface. Taking Brittany's hand for comfort and saying a silent prayer that it wouldn't come back to bite her in the ass, she told the Pierces everything. From her father's abuse since childhood, to her mother's ignorance despite claiming to defy her husband the other day, to finding Quinn broken in the bathroom with their father inside her. It was completely silent after she finished and Santana was sure it was because nobody knew how to kick the three filthy Lopez girls out of their home politely. Or maybe it was pure shock because no normal parent could possibly fathom hitting their child. Or raping them. Whichever it was, she surprisingly enjoyed the silence.

She felt Mrs. Pierce's arm around her tighten. The other arm rose up her body and she gently held the back of Santana's head and brought it to her chest. Santana's ear was right over the woman's heart. She could hear and feel it beating. The woman felt warm and safe. She smelled like lilac, and Santana wondered if that's what mothers usually smelled like. Her mother often smelled of wine or liquor, and she couldn't remember the last time she was lovingly embraced. Had she ever been genuinely held? She let herself sink into the embrace and between the steady beat of Mrs. Pierce's heart, the soft smell, the silence, and warmth, her eyelids drooped and she nearly fell asleep. She was jolted from her peace when she heard Mr. Pierce exit the room.

"Where's he going? Is Quinn okay? Rachel?" She made to get up and leave the room, but both of the Pierce women gently held her back.

"They're okay, sweetie. No one's up. Take it easy," Mrs. Pierce said.

"San," Brittany began. "How come - why didn't you tell me? You could've. We would've figured something out."

"I couldn't. You don't understand. No one understands the power he has," Santana said. She turned to Brittany's mother. "Please, don't tell anyone. He'll - he'll find out people know and go crazy. Even if he's in custody. Please-"

Mrs. Pierce held up a hand and cut her off. "Santana, darling, a crowd of people saw what he was doing to Quinn. I'm sorry, but people are going to know for legal reasons alone. You don't need to hide anymore, sweetheart. We will not let him hurt you, any of you, again." She brushed some of Santana's stray hairs away from her face. "God, I should've known."

Mrs. Pierce made it sound so simple. If telling someone and getting protection was the answer, she would've done so long ago. Her fourth grade teacher had gotten suspicious of her father at one point when Santana had missed multiple days of school and returned with fading bruises. The teacher, Mr. Williams, had approached her father after school one day. Santana was told to go fetch her books so she wouldn't hear the conversation. The very next day, her class was given a permanent substitute and she had seen on the news that a local New York City schoolteacher, Tucker Williams, was arrested for assaulting a parent. Santana of course knew that her father had framed the concerned teacher, and she hadn't seen the man since.

"It's not that easy," Santana said aloud to herself.

Their attention was drawn to the door when they heard a floorboard creak. Quinn poked her head in the room.

Santana felt like she could hear Mrs. Pierce and Brittany's hearts break at the sight of Quinn after hearing the full story. She despised it. She knew Quinn did too. Her sister hated pity.

"Hey Q," she said. "You okay?"

Quinn didn't enter the room and instead stayed in the doorway. She motioned for Santana to come to her. The brunette made quick work of meeting her sister where she stood.

"What's up?" she asked.

"I woke up and Rachel was there," she whispered. "I want you."

Santana sighed at the sight of Quinn. Her hands disappeared into the over-sized sleeves of the hospital sweats she still wore. Her hair was a knotty mess that had dried into kinks after her shower.

"Quinn, if she's sleeping I'm not going to wake her up. I won't trade. I'm sure Brittany doesn't want to sleep with her," she told her sister gently. "Rachel really wanted to be with you and keep you company. She's scared."

Tears filled Quinn's weary eyes. "But I'm scared too. I want you." She could tell her sister wasn't fully present. She could see Quinn was getting upset and despite being born hard to read, Santana knew she'd have another freak out if she didn't sleep with her.

"Okay, calm down. It's alright," she said. "Britt, Mrs. Pierce, I'm gonna stay the rest of the night with Quinn and Rach."

She knew she should have offered them a 'thank you' or heard more of what they thought after telling her story, but instead she made her way down the hall with Quinn, the younger girl holding her sister's hand with a death grip. Her blonde sister crawled back into bed next to Rachel, who remained asleep, and Santana followed. Luckily, Rachel was tiny and Santana and Quinn were both small enough so their three bodies fit on the queen size bed with ease. Quinn was sandwiched between her two sisters and Santana knew it was the place she felt safest for the time being. She could feel Quinn shaking slightly, though not nearly as bad as she had been earlier. She had seemed alright when Santana held her earlier, but she was still hesitant to put an arm around her sister to calm her. Sensing this, Quinn gave Santana her hand to hold. Santana took it and squeezed it slightly, silently encouraging her sister it was okay to sleep. Though her mind was racing, she couldn't fight her mental and physical exhaustion from the draining day and soon drifted to sleep herself.

Quinn awoke to muffled voices the following morning. Her eyelids felt heavy as the sun poured over her face through the blinds on the window. She stretched out in bed and was confused when she opened her eyes to a ceiling that was not her own. After five seconds of morning brain, her reality came crashing down on her. Yesterday was real. The hum between between her legs was real. She slept at the Pierces because going home was too much. She fell asleep between Rachel and Santana and now neither of them were there. Her stomach flipped over and she ran into the attached bathroom to empty its contents. She hugged the bowl and let herself cry. Her mind was swimming with thoughts of sex education which had only briefly been touched upon in health class last year. Why did older kids obsess over sex? Why was it what people in movies always wanted? It was horrible! It was painful, sticky, and messy. The thought made her heave into the toilet again.

"Quinn?" called a voice.

The blonde quickly pressed the lock on the bathroom door so the intruder couldn't enter.

"I was just coming to see if you were awake and wanted some lunch. It's almost 1 and Mrs. Pierce made sandwiches. There's a turkey one waiting for you," said the voice she now recognized as Santana.

Quinn couldn't believe it was so late in the day already. What day even was it? Did she have school?

When Santana didn't receive an answer, she knocked on the bathroom door. "Quinn? Are you okay?" she asked. "Do you need help?"

"No!" she snapped from inside the bathroom. She wasn't sure which question she was responding to, but figured the answer could suffice for both.

"Quinn," said a new voice. It was Mrs. Pierce. "Sweetheart, why don't you come out for a little something to eat. I think it'll help."

She wanted to throw up all over again. Did the Pierces know? Did she say anything to them last night? Did Santana? Rachel? Where was her mom? Why was her memory such a blur? Unsurprisingly, the bile rose again and she vomited into the toilet.

Santana knocked on the door harder. "Quinn, you're not okay. Please unlock the door." When Quinn did nothing but flush the toilet she banged on the door again. "Now, Quinn!"

The blonde heard Mrs. Pierce quietly berate her sister and tell her to relax and be gentle. It was the older woman who spoke to her next. "Honey, we'll leave you be. I'm going to leave you a sandwich and some ginger ale on the bedside table. When you're ready come on out. We love you, sweetie."

She heard Santana's angry, heavy footsteps leave the room, followed by Mrs. Pierce. She took a sigh of relief that they were gone. She hadn't purposefully tried not to answer them, she just didn't have anything to say. The voices in her head were too loud.

She pulled out her phone and was reminded of the texts from her friends that she still hadn't answered. She ignored them again and googled "sex". Once she had determined that she already knew the basics of what the Internet had to offer, she added "with father" to the word. Instantly words like "incest", "rape", news headlines and filthy images were displayed on her phone. Reading about how wrong it was, and the slew of medical conditions that could follow were all too much for Quinn to wrap her head around.

"Santana!" she called quietly. She knew her sister wouldn't be able to hear her. Her voice was sore and suddenly she felt like she had no energy. Instead, she called her sister's cell phone. Santana answered confusedly and Quinn begged. "Come get me," the blonde cried quietly into the phone.

In a flash she found herself unlocking the bathroom door and letting Santana in. She buried her face in the crook between Santana's shoulder and neck and wailed, bringing her sister down to the floor with her. "H-He...W-we had s-sex," she cried.

"Sshhh," Santana soothed. "It's okay."

"It's not okay!" she cried louder. "I-I'm pregnant, and the baby is going to h-h-have p-problems. A-and I don't have any m-money and w-will probably die!"

Santana would have laughed at her sister if the situation wasn't so serious. She forgot that at fourteen, she too once thought she knew everything and thought the world's issues were black and white. "Ssh, Quinn you're not pregnant."

Though frankly, Santana realized she couldn't confidently say that. Shivers ran down her back. "I know you're scared. I'm scared too, but I promise it's everything is going to be okay."

"How do you know?" she mumbled softly into Santana's neck. The soothing effect of Santana's hand rubbing her back was almost enough to lull her back to sleep despite sleeping until 1 in the afternoon.

Santana sighed. "Cause you're you. Nobody ever knocks the Almighty Quinn down. Hell, there are people my age - seniors - that are intimidated by you."

Quinn stayed silent. Santana could try and pep talk her all she wanted, making her feel good wasn't going to work. She needed facts. The older girl seemed to sense this.

"That, combined with the fact that Mr. Pierce is a lawyer and can whoop Dad's ass is huge. He spent all night and this morning calling in favors. I swear, Quinn, everything will be okay. You didn't have sex. He raped you. There's a huge difference."

Quinn nodded. She knew Santana felt helpless, so she wanted her to feel like she was making a difference despite her sister's words only putting her more on edge. What if Mr. Pierce was sick too? What if Mr. Schuester was? What if all men were?

"What are you thinking?" Santana asked, rolling up the over-sized sleeve of Quinn's sweatshirt.

"Nothing," Quinn said. It couldn't be further from the truth.

 _"You're a good girl, Quinn. Oh, yeah so fucking good. Don't ever say I didn't give you the most - oh yeah - love in your life!"_

"I'm fine."

Rachel sat with Mr. and Mrs. Pierce at their kitchen table. She was currently nibbling on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich - cold cuts were not her thing. The Pierces felt the Lopez girls should stay home from school, but somehow managed to convince their own daughter to go. Mrs. Pierce had taken a personal day off from the elementary school herself.

"Is Quinn going to come eat her sandwich?" she asked after Mrs. Pierce had taken a seat opposite her.

"I'm not sure, Rachel, but I really hope so. I left it in her room for her when she's feeling up to it," said the blonde woman with a smile.

Rachel nodded. "Don't worry," she said. "Santana will take care of her and she'll come eat."

"I bet Santana's a really good big sister, huh?" asked Brittany's father.

Rachel turned her attention to Mr. Pierce. She had never met him before but he had the same welcoming face as Brittany. Rachel nodded as she continued eating her sandwich and Mr. Pierce spoke again.

"So Rachel, did your Dad ever make you feel scared? Or sad?"

The question caught Rachel off guard. All morning the Pierces had been having hushed discussions and making phone calls, but they made her feel at ease among all the confusion. They made her morning comfortable and not frightening in the least. Without Santana in the room, she didn't know how to answer. She knew Santana would get mad if she said the wrong thing, but she was also told it's okay to tell the truth now. Clearly, she had taken too long to answer because Mr. Pierce was calling her name.

"Rachel?"

"No," she replied. "My dad loves me. I never felt scared," she said.

"What about your Mom? Would you feel alright if you went back to live with her?"

"Why do you ask?" Santana asked as she sauntered into the room. Rachel had hoped Quinn would follow behind her, but her hopes were dashed when Quinn never appeared.

"Jim," Mrs. Pierce said with a hand on her husband's shoulder, "maybe right now isn't the best time."

"Best time for what?" Rachel and Santana asked in unison. Susan Pierce sighed.

"Santana I wanted to have this discussion with you privately, but we might as well talk about it now," she said hesitantly. "Jim has been up all night to make sure you girls are taken care of and to see what steps are being taken. Since the police were called and a report was filed, Child Protection Services will be investigating your family."

Rachel watched with wide eyes as Santana opened her mouth to argue, but Mrs. Pierce held up a hand to silence her. "Let me finish. When somebody does what your father did to Quinn, CPS is always going to be called. They need to ensure that you girls are living in a home in which you are cared for and safe."

"Well, we're not!" Santana cried. "But the second CPS steps in, they're gonna separate us. That cannot happen," Santana said passionately.

"WHAT?!" Rachel cried. She felt the tears well up in her eyes out of pure shock and fear. "We won't be together? Santana?"

Mrs. Pierce quickly made her way to Rachel's side and put her arms around the young girl with a pointed look at Santana.

"No, sweetheart. Don't you worry about that, okay?" she told Rachel, wiping tears from the girl's eyes. "Santana, the plan of action is that you girls will stay here until your mother is released from the hospital in another day or two. You'll go home and live in her custody while CPS does their job to make sure she's able to care for you all mentally, physically, monetarily, and emotionally. Understand?"

Rachel saw Santana's eyes glistening with unshed tears. That didn't sound so bad to her. In fact, it made Rachel feel much better. She couldn't understand why Santana was so upset.

"She doesn't..." Santana looked at Rachel. "I'm 18. I can have custody of them can't I? I can go to community college and get my degree. We don't need her," she said. Rachel's eyes continued to follow her sister as she was pacing around the room.

"Santana," Mr. Pierce said firmly. "You're getting ahead of yourself. Just focus on what's right in front of you. You'll get back to school and head back home with your mother. I know you don't think it's the best option, and if it isn't, I swear we will get you out of there. But," he said and Rachel could tell he was about to make his point, "try and find some forgiveness in your mother and give her a chance. She might surprise you now that your Dad won't be around. It's a team effort."

Tears still glistened in Santana's eyes, but she wouldn't let them fall. The older brunette shook her head and stormed out of the kitchen.

"I'll talk to her," said Rachel. She left the Pierces standing in their kitchen and chased after Santana, who had gone back to the room Quinn occupied. Her sister had only been back to Quinn's room for five seconds, but when she peeked through the ajar door, she saw Santana was already arguing with Quinn.

"Eat this damn sandwich, Quinn! It's rude not to eat it!"

Rachel strained her neck to see Quinn sitting on the floor on the far side of the room.

"I'm not hungry. You eat it if you don't want to be rude."

Santana threw a pillow down on the bed hard causing Rachel to jump. She knew it was her time to intervene.

"Sanny, stop!"

Both of her older sisters stopped and looked at her. Happy that she had their attention, she continued. "Quinn, you should eat food because you haven't eaten in practically a whole day. And Santana, you need to be nicer. You're just mad because the Pierces are making us go back to Mom," she said.

Quinn looked at her little sister hard. "What? What do you mean?"

Santana interrupted. "The Pierces aren't making us do anything, Rachel. It's the fucking government and the way things work."

"Don't curse in front of her.." Quinn mumbled. "And what do you mean?"

Santana re-explained the conversation that had just taken place in the kitchen and Rachel was grateful she explained it in a way she could understand more. Still, she didn't see the problem. She wanted to live at home with their mother and thought she deserved a chance. She wasn't sure why she needed to be given a chance, but Rachel was more than willing to do it.

"Okay, whatever," Quinn said. She got up and walked into the attached bathroom. Rachel heard the door click and lock.

From inside the bathroom, Quinn silently willed her sisters to vanish. She wanted the world to vanish. She turned on the shower in the bathroom and figured the Pierces wouldn't mind if she got in a quick wash. She couldn't bear to be in the over-sized borrowed clothes from the place of her nightmares. She stepped into the shower and allowed the scalding hot water to hit skin. The hotter the water, the more Quinn felt like she could burn away the remnants of her father's touches. She kept her eyes closed so she wouldn't have to look at the marks on her body. She wasn't sure how long she stood under the water for, but was grateful nobody had tried to interrupt her.

As she left the shower stall and grabbed a towel, her phone began to ring. She turned it over prepared to yell at Santana to give her an hour of peace, but instead her lips curled into the smallest smile at the name that appeared.

"Hi," she whispered.

 **So this chapter was a bit shorter and more of a filler than I had hoped and wrote itself in a completely different direction than I had intended, but I'm excited to get it posted so I can give you the chapter that follows. I also tried to break up the story and POV a bit more, but we'll be back to largely Santana's POV next chapter.**

 **Thank you so much for reading, as always! And please review!**

 **MaudeLebowski - Thanks for reviewing! Shelby will resurface in the next chapter or two and we'll see what ends up happening. Regardless, her relationship with each of her girls will be strained! The road to recovery is certainly a long one, you're right.**

 **Sarah11650 - I was a fan of the last chapter as well! Thanks for reviewing it! While it's obvious Quinn has a long way to go, Santana does as well in a very different way. Hope you enjoy this one!**

 **clj7- Here is the next chapter! I hope you enjoy!**

 **Guest - Thank you very much. I'm glad you're enjoying it. Hope you like this chapter as well!**

 **beaner008- Thank you! Here's the next one!**

 **playitcool - Brittany is and will continue to be such a rock for Santana and the other girls as well. She is amazing!**

 **anunleashedmind- Thanks for the reviews! Hopefully now you'll read further :)**

 **rainbowbright108- THe Pierces are wonderful. They seem to be willing to give Shelby a chance.. hopefully they're right. Shelby will be back soon and it'll be quite a ride.**

 **bproofmgmt- Thank you for always reviewing! Enjoy!**

 **Nelly- Thank you so much for the detailed review! I always love reading what you think. Your heart is in such the right place for each of these girls. Glad you love them as much as I do!**


	13. Chapter 13

Three days had passed since Santana and her sisters had taken up temporary residence at the Pierce home and though she was more exhausted than she could ever remember being, Santana hadn't slept peacefully for more than four hours each night. Her mother had been officially discharged from the hospital and she and her sisters were set to have a supervised visit with her today before heading back home tomorrow and out of the Pierce residence. Rachel was excited, Santana was dreading it, and Quinn had been absolutely indifferent to everything.

As she shut her locker in a trance, she saw Brittany approaching her from further down the hallway. Mrs. Pierce had taken Rachel to and from school and Santana went back with Brittany after her mental health day off. After dropping off Rachel, Mrs. Pierce came back to stay with Quinn at home while a temp secretary filled in for the rest of the week at the elementary school. Santana let a small smile grace her lips as Brittany arrived to her locker.

"How're you holding up?" Brittany asked.

"You asked me that 50 times yesterday. Please don't start today," she said calmly. "But I'm surviving."

Brittany leaned her shoulder against the lockers. "Sorry," she said. "What do you want me to say when people ask about Quinn? Like the girls on the squad and stuff?"

Santana sighed. "Word travels fast. One kid has a nurse for a mom in that hospital and that's all it takes. People are finding out she was attacked, they just don't know by who. Tell them you don't really know the details," she said hoping to end the subject.

"That works if I say it San, but what are you saying? You're her sister. People will know you actually have the details."

"I've been handling it, okay?! Just let it be, God. I need you to make me happy, not give me fucking anxiety."

Brittany was silent and Santana ignored the tiny bit of guilt she felt for being harsh.

"See you in Glee," her girlfriend said sharply. Santana watched her walk away as quickly as she had come and kicked the wall in anger.

"Santana? You okay?"

She turned and saw Mr. Schuester's kind face. Though he was addicted to vests and the only straight man she knew with an affinity for musicals, he was the epitome of a good man. She didn't understand how there could be men like Mr. Schue and men like her father, the polar opposite, in the same universe.

"Yeah, sorry. The rage place," she said indicating to the now scuffed wall.

Mr. Schue chuckled. "Yes, I'm all too familiar with the rage of Santana Lopez," he said. "Have a minute to chat? Haven't had a chance to talk to you since the other day."

Santana held back her eye roll. She was tired of talking and had done quite enough of it over the past few days. "Sorry Schue, I have a free period and need to... study." It wasn't exactly a lie. She did have a free period, but she wasn't going to use it to study. She'd probably text Quinn for 10th time that day and wait for an answer that would never come because one hadn't yet.

"Right," said Mr. Schue, totally onto her lie. "I think you have a minute to spare. Come on," he said with a nod toward his office.

She sighed and begrudgingly followed her teacher to his office. She had a ton of witty excuses on the tip of her tongue to get out of her, but she respected her teacher too damn much to use any of them.

They made it to his office and Santana flopped down in one of seats opposite his desk. She watched as Mr. Schue took off his messenger bag and instead of sitting his desk, sat in the chair directly next to hers.

"How's Quinn?"

Santana gave him a look that said 'how do you think she is?' and he nodded.

"I wish you would have told me what was going on."

Santana furrowed her brows in confusion and felt her hands get clammy. "What do you mean? How was I supposed to know some lunatic was going to attack her?" she said defensively.

Mr. Schue's eyes bore into hers. Somehow he knew more, she could tell. He shifted his body more directly toward hers.

"Santana, for some time now I've been a little.. suspicious about your home life. Frankly, I've always been concerned, but I felt it wasn't my place to say anything unless you or Quinn came to me first. It is by far, the biggest regret of my teaching career by not acting on that feeling I had."

She did her best to keep her wall of intimidation up and refuse to break eye contact with him and show weakness.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said firmly.

"Your mother called me," he said simply. Santana's eyes nearly bugged out of her head.

"What? Why? She has NO right!" she yelled getting to her feet.

"Calm down -"

"No! I won't calm down! What did she say? She can't just go around telling people personal things!" she continued. "Oh, and I wouldn't believe whatever she told you. She's a liar who lives in some alternate fucking universe." She had somehow ended up behind Mr. Schue's desk sitting in his chair angrily pressing staples out of his stapler.

"Listen to me, Santana," he said gently. "Obviously, I've never met your mother, but apparently she's heard a lot about me from you and Quinn, and even Rachel, the few times she'd come here and sing with us after school." Santana blushed. She hadn't realized just how much she and Quinn spoke about Glee club at home. "She explained to me that something unimaginable happened. She said she blames herself and wants to make peace, but she's worried about you and didn't know who else to call. She thanked me for having a club that makes you so happy and she also asked me if I could keep an eye on you."

Santana scoffed. "I'm 18. I don't need to be kept an eye on, I'm practically in college. And not for nothing, Mr. Schue, no one has kept an eye on me in years," she said choosing to focus on the latter part of his explanation. "It's out of character for her to pick up the phone and call someone she doesn't know and pour her guts out. She's just trying to cover her own ass."

Mr. Schue sighed. "I'm not disagreeing with you, but let me play devil's advocate for a second. What if recent events spurred your mother to take action? Isn't it worth a shot at a better relationship? Over the four years that I've known you, you yourself have said you don't get along with her. Why not try and mend that?"

She snapped again. "Why does everyone keep saying I should give her a chance? The Pierces, Rachel, and now you! Maybe I know what's best for myself. She can't take care of herself, there's no way she can take care of us. Please, Mr. Schue, just butt out!" She made to leave the room before turning back to him threateningly.

"And if you tell anyone, ANYONE, about Quinn or my mom or my pathetic dad, I will burn your sheet music to the ground and then burn the hair off your brillo pad head." When she went to turn again, she was stopped in her tracks by the sound of Mr. Schue's uncharacteristically booming voice.

"HEY!" he yelled. "You might be done, but I'm not. Sit down for two more seconds."

Too stunned to leave the room, she again, sat down on one of the chairs. She subconsciously wondered when her backbone had started to disappear so easily.

"I should've started this conversation by asking how you're doing. How are YOU doing?"

"Peachy," she said flatly.

Mr. Schue let out a soft chuckle. "Right," he said. "Listen, your like one of my own Santana. All of the Glee kids are, you know that. We are family. I won't utter a word to anyone, but I want you to know that I plan to fight this all right alongside you. If you, Quinn, or Rachel need anything - even if it's to empty my stapler because your pissed off - you can do it. Okay?"

She nodded and willed the unshed tears in her eyes not to fall. "Thank you," she said. He muttered that she was welcome and Santana took it as permission to leave the room if she wanted. Still she found herself glued to the seat. "What did you say to my mom?"

He gave her a sad smile and ran a hand through his hair. "I told her that I cared about her daughters very much and that I'd be there for them however I could."

"And she really told you.. about.. my dad and..?"

"Quinn, yes. And Santana, my blood boiled when I heard. It's still boiling. I'm all about giving your mom that chance, but the second it goes wrong, I will personally yank you three out of there, okay?"

The emotion in his voice cut through her like a knife. For some reason, though she loved the Pierces, she believed Mr. Schue more when he said he'd watch out for them. "Promise?"

"I promise."

She rose from seat and gave him a hug, causing him to laugh.

"What's so funny?" she asked

"What's so funny is that Santana Lopez does not hug."

"Shut up," she said with a wry smile. "And.. thank you."

He nodded in acknowledgement and quickly jotted down his cell phone number in case there was ever an emergency. She thanked him again and left the office right as the bell rang signalling the end of her free period. Though she didn't have a chance to text Quinn due to her impromptu meeting with Mr. Schuester, she was happy to see she finally got a text in return.

 _"I'm good,_ " it read. It wasn't much, but it was something and Santana was grateful.

Quinn sat on the bed in her guest room at the Pierces. Mrs. Pierce had stayed home with her and done her best to engage, but Quinn wasn't having it. She didn't have energy to fake polite conversations. The voices in her head were far too loud, distracting her from the real world. Had she been in her right mind, she would have felt embarrassed for essentially ignoring Brittany's mother who had offered so much to her, but instead she had become obsessed with sex and replayed the horror over and over in her head.

She was vaguely aware that she and her sisters would be seeing their mother today. She supposed she should feel some type of way about it, have an opinion, but she didn't. She wanted to feel excitement or even fear or anger, but as the days went by, she grew more numb. Her phone had blown up with texts from concerned friends, and of course Santana. She knew Santana deserved an answer and had managed to text her that she was alright, but even that was exerting too much energy.

She was jealous that Santana and Rachel were strong enough to return to school. She wanted to go back so badly if for nothing else but a change of scenery, but the thought of facing her peers and teachers and answering questions sent her into a near panic attack every time. She felt ashamed. She had always felt she was strong for surviving what she and her sisters had survived. People at school were intimidated by her, she was a straight A student, and even as a freshman she was Sue Sylvester's star. She had fallen so hard so quickly and she knew she'd never get it back.

A gentle knock on the door caused her to look in that direction.

"Hi honey. I'm going to go pick up Rachel from school. I'd love if you came with me," Mrs. Pierce said kindly as she entered the room. "Figured we could jump on the subway for a change of scenery?"

A change of scenery was all Quinn wanted, but leaving the house meant she'd see other people. They'd be able to see how appalling she was just by looking at her.

"Is it okay if I stay here?" she asked.

Mrs. Pierce sat on the side of her bed. "I'd really love if you came with me, honey. We'll get Rachel and then Santana and Brittany should be finished with Glee and on their way home by that time, and then we'll freshen up and head over to see your mom," she said gently.

Quinn could tell Mrs. Pierce expected her to react poorly to the mention of their mother, but instead there was no reaction at all.

"Quinn? Sound like a plan?"

After a few seconds the young blonde nodded her head. She put her shoes on and would have walked right out of the Pierce apartment had Mrs. Pierce not reminded her to put on her jacket and scarf. The two blondes made their way in silence to the subway on the corner. Quinn was grateful to be wearing gloves while riding the train. Despite being born and raised in New York, the germs of the subway always skeeved her and Rachel out. Santana always told them to get a grip.

Before she knew it she was back on the train with Rachel in tow. Her sister had been ecstatic to see Quinn at the school with Mrs. Pierce. Rachel had asked if she could hug her hello and Quinn hated that she had to ask. She hated even more that she had to think about the answer. Her arms had wrapped around her sister, but it didn't feel like a hug. It felt simply like going through the motions. Her body was there and her brain registered what was happening, but she felt like she was somewhere else.

"Quinn, are you ready to see Mom? I am, I think it will be good for her to see us. And I missed her anyways," Rachel said animatedly. Luckily, she had caught on to Mrs. Pierce's cue to let Quinn be silent if she didn't want to speak.

The rest of the journey home was uneventful. Anytime Quinn made eye contact with a stranger she assumed they could sense how filthy she was - that she probably had all of these diseases now that she had sex with her father. There was a pregnant woman on the train home and Quinn wanted to gag. Why would someone want a baby so bad that they'd suffer through sex? She never would.

"Hello? Quinn! You should take your coat off. It's warm in here and that's how you'll get sick!" Rachel's voice called to her from the Pierce kitchen. They had arrived home and Quinn found herself sitting on the sofa still fully bundled up from the winter weather. She blinked and regained her surroundings. As she went to hang her coat back up on the hook near the door, she heard Santana's voice in the kitchen. Had she really not noticed her sister arrive?

"I really don't think she should go, I'm sorry," Santana's soft voice said.

"I think you're hesitant to go and you're using Quinn as a scapegoat," said Brittany's father kindly, but sternly.

When had Mr. Pierce gotten home? What time was it? She pulled out her phone and saw it was already 5:30pm. She had lost track of about 45 minutes of time and they were supposed to arrive back at their home at 6:00pm. She answered one quick text before putting her phone away and eavesdropping again. Unfortunately, the conversation seemed to have ceased. Santana walked out of the kitchen and bumped right into Quinn.

"Whoa, hey. You okay?"

Quinn found her focus and her voice. "Yeah, I'm ready to go actually."

"Me too!" came Rachel's voice from kitchen. She met her older sister's near the door, her winter clothes already on. "Majority rules, Sanny! Let's go. Bye Brittany!"

Quinn had entirely forgotten about Brittany's existence. Her stomach churned at what Brittany must know, have seen, and heard.

"Bye guys. Good luck. Remember, my dad will be waiting there and someone from CPS will be there. You have nothing to worry about if it goes weird."

Quinn hated that this was a real conversation, so she knew Santana must want to die. Quinn was with it enough to realize that she should give the two girlfriends a second alone.

She put the jacket she had just taken off back on and waited for her sisters and Mr. Pierce out in the hall. She wanted to feel nervous, but she didn't, and that made her feel uneasy. Something must be wrong with her. Her emotions had gone from extreme to nothing in a matter of days. Her designated therapist, Ms. Taylor was supposed to make a visit to her one of these days and Santana said that would help, but Quinn doubted it.

The door opened and Santana, Rachel, and Mr. Pierce joined her in the hall as they made their way to the Lopez home.

Rachel nearly ran into Joe's arms when she saw him.

"Rachy baby! How you doin' short stuff? Man oh man did I miss you guys these past few days!"

"I'm good! I missed you too!"

The little brunette turned and grabbed Mr. Pierce's hand. Though the youngest Lopez daughter had never met Jim Pierce before, she had a way with people, and those people were always taken with Rachel Lopez.

"Joe, this is Mr. Pierce, he's our friend Brittany's dad. Mr. Pierce, this is our doorman, Joe," she said. Excitement was laced in her voice. The two men shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. Rachel looked around the lobby for anyone that looked professional. She knew they couldn't see their mother without the presence of someone who made sure it was safe. Though she wasn't exactly sure why she needed to be kept safe from her mother when her father had done the bad things, she never had a problem with following the rules.

Rachel looked at her sisters. Santana and Quinn were standing side by side in silence. Santana looked on edge and Quinn almost looked bored. She was going to ask again if they were finally excited now that they were back in their apartment building, when someone undeniably professional walked in. She wore a charcoal colored pencil skirt and matching blazer with a white blouse underneath. She looked about Mrs. Pierce's age and had her hair slicked back into a bun. She reminded Rachel of a cranky librarian.

The introductions were awkward. Rachel felt her sister's were incredibly rude to Claire Rosen. Santana shook the woman's hand and was very short. Quinn shook her hand and avoided eye contact. Despite looking like a cranky librarian, Rachel found Claire to be very nice and trustworthy in the thirty seconds they had known each other. She volunteered to lead the way to her apartment while Mr. Pierce waited downstairs.

"So girls," Claire said attempting to break the tension of the older girls in the elevator, "Before we go in and see your Mom, I want you to know that no matter what happens, I'm on your side. I'm here to make sure that you three are taken care of in a safe and healthy environment. I know that the past few days have been a whirlwind and that anything I say probably won't seem significant right now, but it's important that you know I'm not the enemy. And I'm not making your mother the enemy either unless she proves to me that she's a danger."

"That shouldn't take more than three minutes," Santana bit.

"Maybe you're right, Santana. We'll have to see. For now, we're just going to see how your Mom is doing before she takes the three of you back in tomorrow, alright?"

Rachel watched as Santana nodded her head, so she did the same.

Claire knocked on the door and to Rachel it felt like a year had gone by before the door opened to reveal her mother. Rachel couldn't recall ever seeing her mother look so beautiful. She had on jeans and a sweater, her hair was down, and she had even put on make up. Rachel couldn't remember ever seeing her mother make-up on. She moved slow, probably due to her injuries, but her smile was so bright, Rachel couldn't resist running into her arms.

"Oh, my little love, it is so good to see you!" Shelby bent down to Rachel's level to give her a kiss. "I have missed you so much, you don't even know."

"Not more than me!" she said.

"Quinn, baby. Come here," Shelby said with her arms extended for a hug.

"She's not ready for that, Mom," Santana said defensively. Shelby looked from her middle child to her oldest with a slight look of confusion.

"Yes, alright. Okay," she stammered. "Are you, how are you both?"

Santana let herself into the house and said "We're doing as well as you could imagine we're doing. Which isn't great, in case you weren't aware."

"Quinn?" Shelby asked hopeful.

Rachel saw Quinn lock eyes with her mom and give her a small smile. Rachel knew Quinn would sometimes be angry at their mother like Santana, but she loved her and still liked to please her. Santana was the angry one.

"You must be Claire," Shelby said addressing the case worker. "Please, come in. It's lovely to meet you in person, though I wish I didn't have to meet you at all."

Claire smiled. "Thank you so much, Shelby. It's great to meet you as well. I've only just gotten acquainted with your daughters, but they're certainly full of personality."

Shelby chuckled awkwardly and Rachel could tell she was uncomfortable with someone from the government in the house.

"Oh, yes they do. I can tell you loads of stories," Shelby said.

Santana snorted and Rachel shot her a glance. How could she be eight years old and still more mature than her 18 year old sister?

"Well," Claire continued, "I'm really just an invisible presence here tonight. I told the girls, but I'll reiterate this to you too, Shelby - my job here is to make sure this is a safe environment for your daughters. I'm not the enemy, I just need to know your children are cared for."

Rachel could tell this must have struck a nerve her mother. She watched her jaw clench and her eyes close briefly before nodding in agreement.

"Then, we're on the same team," Shelby said.

The evening had past uneventfully. Rachel had seen Claire wandering about the apartment, so she decided to give her a tour. She showed Claire the bedroom she shared with her sisters, the bathroom, kitchen, living area, and even her parents room. Rachel was shocked to find the refrigerator fully stocked when she opened it for a drink.

"Wow! Mom, it looks like a Thanksgiving dinner in here!"

"Well, I wanted you girls to have whatever you craved," Shelby called from the living room where she sat with her two older daughters.

Claire smiled at Rachel in the kitchen. "Is your fridge not normally so full?"

"No way!" Rachel said. "Normally Sanny will bring home ingredients for dinner and she'll make something. Sometimes Quinn will make something. Or sometimes we get take out. Chinese is my favorite when we do that, but this is awesome! There's so many snacks!"

The young brunette was unaware of the hesitant nod Claire gave her. She helped herself to a cup of orange juice and made her way back to the living room with Claire. She was happy to see Santana speaking in as civil a manner she could muster to their mother. Quinn sat so close to Santana that their thighs were touching on the sofa. She had been near silent since she'd gotten here.

"Now, Rachel, tell me all about auditions for your show. We'll get you in tip-top shape before opening night," her mom said with a friendly wink, trying to keep things light-hearted before directing her gaze to her blonde daughter. She was instantly distracted.

Rachel deflated. "No- I- I'm the Butterfly. I told you, remember?"

Shelby was staring at Quinn and half listening to Rachel.

"Quinn, I -"

"Please don't talk to her, Mom," snapped Santana. "She hasn't recovered yet and she doesn't need you grilling her."

Shelby rolled her eyes. "Santana, please, baby. You don't know what I've been dealing with. Between ending up in the hospital and then.. and then what happened there, all I can think about - "

Santana took a quick glace at Claire as a final attempt to restrain herself, but Rachel braced for the implosion of her sister.

"No! You don't get to be sad! You. Took. His. Side. You denied everything he ever did in this house!"

"I didn't -"

Rachel was about to run to the safety of her bedroom when a new voice spoke up.

"Stop," came Quinn's quiet voice. It was silent yet everyone in the room heard it and was immediately silenced. Rachel saw Quinn's body begin to shake, much like it had at the Pierces the first night they arrived. She saw Santana jump into action, forgetting her fight with their mother immediately.

"Hey, shh, it's okay. What's wrong?"

Quinn started blinking rapidly and Rachel's breath started to pick up. She was terrified to the core watching her sister spin out on the Pierces floor, she didn't want to see it again.

"The orange juice.."

It didn't make sense to anyone in the room that orange juice would frighten Quinn, but Rachel wanted to help. She needed to help. She wanted to prove to Claire that she could take care of his sister and they most certainly didn't need to be separately if Quinn was cared of. Rachel picked up her cup and stepped closer to Quinn offering her a sip. She almost didn't register that her face and hair were wet until three seconds after the impact. Quinn had immediately pushed the offending drink away from her and backed herself into a corner.

Rachel stood rooted to her spot in tears, Santana had not even looked at her and jumped to help Quinn, her mother had ignored all three of her daughters and went to the bathroom, and Claire put a hand on Rachel's back, assured her it was okay, and attempted to help Santana calm Quinn.

She remained standing in place lost in her head. Quinn was right all those times over the years when she had said Rachel ruined everything. She did. She had tried to help Quinn and only made it worse. Now, she was covered in sticky orange juice, her mother ran away, and there was no way Child Services was going to keep them together now.

Suddenly, Quinn bolted from the corner and wrapped Rachel in a bear hug. "

"I love you," the older girl said. "I love you so much. He won't hurt you, I swear."

Rachel was confused. Her tears had mixed with the orange juice and dried into stains on her face as she hugged Quinn back. Santana came over and stood behind Rachel so she could make eye contact with Quinn. It seemed to have dawned on the 18-year-old what was going on.

"Quinn," she said gently. "That was the other night. Dad didn't... he didn't touch Rachel."

Quinn sniffled and her green eyes looked broken.

"But- but she spilled the drink and.." she blubbered.

Rachel hugged her sister tighter. "Quinnie, he didn't! He just helped clean it up."

This was, again, apparently the wrong thing to say as Quinn began to pace. "No! You're so young, he probably.. he probably got off on it. Oh my God, oh my God.."

Her sister's shaking had started again and Rachel swore Quinn's eyes were so withdrawn they were looking int two different directions. She left the living room and headed for the bathroom where there mother was, hoping to rinse off the orange juice and the feeling that she made every situation worse. Her mother sat on top of the closed toilet with the door open. She wasn't crying, but she sat with her head in her hands.

"Mama?" Rachel asked. She always had a soft spot for their mother. She felt they had a bond that Santana and Quinn simply didn't understand. Without a word, Shelby took her youngest daughter in her arms and rocked her as she cried. The older woman whispered 'I'm sorry' repeatedly as she continued to rock her. After a few minutes, Shelby began to rinse Rachel's face with a washcloth. Both mother and daughter were silent, simply taking in the moment as an escape from the chaos in the next room that each of them felt responsible for. That' show Claire found them suggesting it was time to leave.

 **There you have it! I apologize for the wait on this chapter, but hope it was worth it. The story will explore the guilt, anxiety, and recovery of each of these girls. It will be a long road, but I hope you'll stick with me. It's such a truthful and important story for me to tell. Also: I am no doctor, lawyer, or social worker, so take everything I say with a grain of salt in the real world : )**

 **Please don't forget to review! They give me so much motivation. I LOVE hearing your thoughts!**

 **anunleashedmind- Thanks for catching up! Life at the Pierces would be amazing, and they will continue to be support pillars for the girls, but we shall see! As far as Puck.. it's a possibility. Keep reading!**

 **MaudeLebowski- Thank you for consisting reviewing! Means the world. I hope this chapter lived up to expectations! CPS will be diving into this case, and like Claire said, she's not the enemy, she just wants them safe, so we'll see where that leads.**

 **beaner008- Hope you enjoy this update! It's an honor to have my favorite fanfiction author review my story!**

 **bproofmgmt- Thank you! Enjoy!**


	14. Chapter 14

Santana sat with Quinn cuddled into her side on the younger girl's bed at the Pierces. Quinn hadn't stopped shaking since the orange juice incident and Santana wanted to get her straight to sleep, afraid she may be inches from having another episode. She left Claire and Mr. Pierce talking downstairs and Rachel had immediately taken a shower and gone to bed. Santana made a mental note to check on her in the morning.

She felt a vibration different than the shutters of her sister and realized it was a cell phone. She checked her own and saw there were no updates, so it had to be Quinn's. The blonde made no movement to look at her phone or even acknowledged that she felt the vibration at all. Instead, her eyes stared blankly ahead of her, scaring Santana more with each minute.

"That's your phone if you want it," Santana offered.

Nothing. It continued to vibrate and Quinn continued to be still.

"Do you want me to see who it is?"

Silence. It was as if Quinn didn't even register that Santana was there. She reached down by Quinn's knee where the phone lay and picked it up. She noticed new texts from some of the girls on the Cheerios and nearly every member of the Glee club, all of which were unread. The most recent texts causing the never ending vibrations though, made Santana turn to question her sister again.

"Why is Puck texting you non stop?"

This time, Quinn's eyes shifted from the wall in front of her, to Santana, and then to her phone.

"What?" came Quinn's faraway voice.

Santana turned so that she faced Quinn full on. "I said why is Puck texting you non stop?"

"He's not," said Quinn staring at the wall once more.

"Quinn, you have nine text messages from him in the last 20 minutes," she said flatly. While she wanted an answer from Quinn, she was also just happy to have her sister engaged in something. "Well?" she pushed again.

Brittany chose that moment to gently enter the room and Quinn was catatonic once more.

"Hey, do you have a minute?" Brittany asked looking at Santana.

Santana continued looking at Quinn, as if her stare could will her sister to speak. When nothing happened, Santana spoke again. "Alright," she said defeated to Quinn. "Can I go with Brittany for a minute?"

It was as if Quinn hadn't heard her at all. She continued to be lost in her head. Santana slowly made her way off the bed and over to Brittany. She didn't take her eyes off Quinn for fear that she would start to tremble and beg Santana to stay. When nothing happened, she left the room with Brittany.

Santana closed the door and let out a deep breath.

"What happened?" asked Brittany. "She seemed kind of okay before you all left. My dad wouldn't really say anything when I asked."

"Nothing. This whole thing is just a giant clusterfuck," Santana said leaning against the wall.

Brittany shifted her weight. "Rachel seemed pretty upset for nothing to have happened."

Santana felt her face get hot. "Why are you acting like some experienced, know-it-all? Don't worry about Rachel, I'll handle it."

This time, it was Brittany's face that got hot with anger. "Stop snapping at me when I'm just trying to help."

Santana all but bit Brittany's head off. "Well maybe you should've thought about all the baggage and consequences you were bound to face when you pushed me and pushed me to tell you about everything!"

"This is what girlfriends do, Santana! Let me help."

"Well, maybe I don't want a girlfriend then!" The words left Santana's mouth before she had a chance to even hold them in.

Brittany's ice blue eyes stared at Santana. "You're angry and upset. I don't blame you. I know you don't mean that."

"And what if I do?" She couldn't believe her ears at her own words. Why was her mouth starting a war with words she didn't want to have?

"If you do," Brittany said with a cracked voice, "then I'll be happier when you guys go back home."

Santana's eyes narrowed. The fury she felt within her was never once directed at, or caused by, Brittany, but there is a first time for everything.

"Go to hell," she muttered under her breath. She turned and went back into Quinn's guest bedroom slamming the door behind her. Quinn still sat on the bed just as she had been a few minutes earlier.

"We're such fuck-ups Quinn," she said aloud though she knew it was unlikely her sister was even listening. "Me, you, Rachel. Three fuck-ups. And the worst part is, it's not even our fault. We're probably normal people underneath, but we were raised in a zoo. We were raised by animals and now we are animals. Or at least I am," she said with a pause. She wasn't looking at Quinn. She was instead pacing the room slowly. "I think I just broke up with Brittany, and I don't even know why. But fuck it, right? I mean, I'm probably sparing her. She's too normal for us. I think I need someone just as messed up as me."

She made her way to the bed and sat next to Quinn. She was surprised neither of Brittany's parents had come to check on them since the obnoxiously loud fight, but then realized her parents were smart people who would certainly give the girls time to cool off before intervening.

"We need to go home," came Quinn's soft voice. Santana turned, giving her a look that was a mix of relief for speaking and confusion for what she had said. Her sister continued, "I heard Claire tell Mr. Pierce that there was no active reason to keep us from Mom. The house was spotless, she got herself together, she's trying. Plus, Claire will be checking in all the time or something."

Santana didn't respond. She wished she could make everyone see that their mother betrayed them all. She couldn't be trusted to continue raising them, that much was clear as day.

"Being here isn't good for you and Brittany," Quinn added.

"This has nothing to do with me and Brittany, Quinn. We're eighteen, it's not like we were gonna get married anyway. This is about going back to live in a place we called home but that never actually was one."

Quinn was silent and continued to stare. Santana changed the subject.

"You need help, Q. Like, from someone that's not me. That Ms. Taylor woman or whoever spoke to you in the hospital."

Santana braced herself for Quinn's quick defense tactic, but it never came.

"What woman that spoke to me in the hospital?"

Santana's brow furrowed. "Before we left. You were with Mom and I came in and she was talking to you guys."

Quinn shook her head. "No..."

Santana could tell her sister was trying to wrack her brain, but was coming up empty. There was a gentle knock on the door and Mrs. Pierce came in. Santana mentally gave her credit for waiting this long.

"Knock, knock," she said as she entered. "Everything okay in here? I know it was a long evening..."

Not wanting to get into it with her maybe-still-girlfriend's mother, Santana was short. "Yeah, we're just tired, right Quinn?"

Quinn did not answer. Mrs. Pierce nodded her head and Santana could tell she felt awkward. She probably couldn't wait to get them out of her home.

"Girls, we spoke to your caseworker - God, I hate even saying that word, but we spoke to Claire and she believes that it's in your best interest to return home." Santana opened her mouth to argue, but Mrs. Pierce held up a hand to silence her. "Now, Santana, I know you have a lot to say on the subject, but hear me out. These people are cut throat. They will be on your mother like a hawk. There will be scheduled visits, surprise visits, your mother has agreed to work with a therapist and the police and will be consistently tested for alcohol. She's even agreed to some AA. I think..." she paused and looked at the two young girls in front of her. "As a mother, I know she will do her best to get justice for you girls. I'm not saying she's an angel, hell knows she's got a long way to go, but I think she was broken long before you girls were even born. This is the second chance she's needed. I hope you'll give it to her. You have an army of people on your side and looking out for you. No one will keep you someplace that isn't safe."

The woman ended her monologue in a heavy, emotional voice. "I know... I know you don't want to hear it, Santana. And I'll never forgive myself if I send you back to a place where harm can be done, but.. as a mother, your children are your everything no matter how upside down life can get. You girls aren't the only ones free of your father, she is too. I think you all deserve a fresh start."

Santana stared at Mrs. Pierce and Quinn stared at the wall. This would be another sleepless night.

* * *

The next day was a whirlwind. The girls were to go to school and meet Claire at the Pierces afterward so she could escort them home. Quinn had remained home from school and Mrs. Pierce felt the girl slipping further into herself whenever Santana wasn't around. As the blonde showered she waited just outside the unlocked door in case she needed any assistance. Quinn reluctantly accompanied Mrs. Pierce on the subway to pick Rachel up at school. The youngest girl was a bit more cheery than she was last night, but still not her full self. Quinn blamed herself for that and kept her distance. Rachel, though still happy to see Quinn, kept her distance as well for fear of being the cause of what set her off yet again.

Santana and Brittany arrived home separately. Sue Sylvester had always and probably would always have a soft spot for the Lopez girls. If anyone had third eye, it was Sue, and she knew anyone and everyone's business. Santana was let off the hook for attending Cheerios practice while Brittany stayed behind. The two hadn't spoken or merely looked at each other all day.

Santana and Rachel each gave Mr. and Mrs. Pierce hugs goodbye. Quinn uttered her own thank you's and her fierce eye contact assured the Pierces that she meant it. Rachel and Quinn climbed into the backseat of a black sedan while Santana took the front passenger seat and Claire began the short drive home.

"So is this yours or does your job just let you take it out for the kids with shit lives?" Santana asked.

"Santana don't be rude!" scolded Rachel from the backseat. She would never understand her sister's lack of manners in certain situations when she knew very well her sister could be perfectly polite and mature.

Claire smirked. "I have to agree with Rachel here, Santana. I know you're feeling a lot of things at the moment, but please don't talk to me that way. And don't curse in front of your sisters."

"I was just wondering, geez," she said. "Besides, I always heard social workers make no money, but this is a pretty nice car for someone who isn't bringing in much."

Again, a smirk from Claire. "It is not my own car. Come on, you've been born and raised in New York City, nobody that lives here owns a car."

Santana smiled a genuine smile, happy that she was able to uncover the human side of someone whose job it was to seem robotic.

"So you really think we're gonna be happy here?" she asked with traces of sarcasm.

Claire glanced from the road to Santana before looking in the rearview mirror to the backseat where a set of hazel eyes and a set of brown met her own.

"I think that happiness isn't impossible. Listen girls, you're not going to walk in the door to a different life. It's going to be work for all four of you, but I do believe happiness is on the horizon or else I wouldn't be driving you right now, we'd have found a court appointed place for you to stay. As of now, that is not necessary," she said.

Rachel eyes bulged in the backseat. "What do you mean 'as of now'? Are they going to take us away?"

"No, Rachel. We have no reason for that. There's no reason to worry unless there's an incident and I have faith there won't be one," she said with a reassuring smile to the small girl in the backseat. "How're you feeling, Quinn?"

The fourteen-year-old gave a tight lipped smile in the Claire's direction, and Santana was again thankful for some sign of life. They lucked out with a spot in front of their apartment building. Before they got out of the car Claire reminded them she's always just a phone call away if they need anything or even just want to talk. As they got out of the car Quinn wasn't paying attention and a car speeding down the street nearly hit her as she swung her door shut. Rachel screamed and Claire instinctively held the blonde back with her arm.

"Oh my God," Claire said. "Are you alright?"

Quinn's eyes were large, but she nodded her head and made a beeline to Santana's side. The older girl asked her if she was okay and instead of answering, Quinn took hold of Santana's hand. Rachel, not wanting to cause an issue, asked Claire if she could hold her hand. The woman smiled and said "of course."

They made their way through the lobby, past Joe, and up to their infamous apartment which had scene a bit more action in the last week than was normal for a lifetime. Shelby was waiting in the doorway with a smile on her face. Still sore and unsteady on her feet, she seemed relaxed despite the incident the night before.

"Hi girls," she said. "Welcome home."

Rachel let go of Claire's hand and embraced her mother tightly. Aside from the night prior, Rachel rarely saw her mother in clothing other than pajamas or sweatpants and loungewear. She loved how glamorous her mother looked in a simple black t-shirt and jeans.

"You look like a star leaving the stage door, Mom," the little girl smiled.

Her large, toothy smile caused Shelby to smile larger. "Well, once upon a time that was reality, my love."

Santana was happy Rachel was happy, but she still hadn't had a chance to really talk with her youngest sister after her fiasco with Brittany and worrying about Quinn. She wanted to warn her sister not to get her hopes up and become too attached to this new image of their mother, but she also didn't want to pop the girl's bubble of happiness.

The group made their way into the apartment. Claire reminded them about a few ground rules and how she'd see them soon. After a few minutes she was gone, and for the first time since their mother had been found bleeding heavily in the bathtub, the four Lopez women were alone in their home.

Santana could sense her mother's happiness mixed her nerves. She assumed her mother was nervous because she couldn't confidently remember the last time she had a lucid conversation with all three of her kids at the same time.

"Do you girls want anything special for dinner? I could make something, or we can order in, whatever you want."

"Let Quinn pick," Rachel said. "She should get what she's craving!"

"Quinn?" Shelby asked her middle child hopefully. "How are you doing, baby?" Santana felt it was like two strangers meeting for the first time.

Quinn had discarded her coat and taken a seat at the kitchen island, but hadn't answered her mother. Shelby tried again with a different approach.

"Breakfast for dinner? Scrambled eggs and a pickle?" she said with a knowing wink to her blonde daughter.

 _Leroy was away on business for twelve days and six-year-old Quinn felt like this was what visiting Disney World must feel like. The past few days her mother had taken herself and her sisters for ice cream, to the movies, mini golfing, and even Coney Island. She was heavily pregnant and wanted to spend some quality time with her two favorite girls before they were joined by a third - and before her time was once again consumed by Leroy's needs._

 _They had returned from a day running through the sprinklers in Central Park and she and ten-year-old Santana were on the couch in the living room, watching Mulan. Quinn had wanted to watch Cinderella, but Santana wanted something with more action. They compromised with Mulan since she was still a princess and it had plenty of action._

 _About 30 minutes into the movie Shelby had finished straightening up the house and had just situated herself at the kitchen island with a bottle of water, happy the girls were occupied. Small footsteps hit the tile floor and Shelby looked up to see a disheveled looking Quinn enter the kitchen._

 _"Hey, my pretty girl, I thought you were watching a movie."_

 _The six-year-old rubbed her eyes. "I was, but Mulan is boring. I want Cinderella. Or Lady and the Tramp. Can we have spaghetti and meatballs for dinner?"_

 _Shelby laughed. "I don't think we have all the ingredients. Find me ingredients for something we have in the house and we can make it together while Sanny watches her movie."_

 _Quinn instantly lit up and dug through all the cabinets, the refrigerator, and the freezer. "A-ha!" she exclaimed. "Eggs!"_

 _"Eggs?" Shelby said with raised eyebrows. "Everything we have in this house and you want eggs?"_

 _"Yes! But they have to go with a pickle too!"_

 _"Why's that?" The smell of pickles was not something Shelby's pregnant body could tolerate._

 _"Because that's how Noah says his mom makes his scrambled eggs and I want to try!"_

 _Shelby chuckled unable to deny her adorable daughter. "Remind me to thank Mrs. Puckerman next time we see her for your newly requested dish of scrambled eggs and pickles."_

 _"I will," Quinn said with a smile. Shelby kissed her head and they got started._

Quinn remembered her father's business trip eight years ago vividly. She had several happy memories with mother, but the more she thought about it, most of them came from that twelve day stretch. The memories made her happy, then angry, then sad, then confused at once.

"You remember that?" the blonde asked her mother.

Santana could see relief hit Shelby's face.

"Of course, I do. You still eat that, I can smell it from the bedroom sometimes..."

Then, as a surprise to all four women in the room, Quinn herself included, the blonde stepped forward and hugged her mother. Shelby returned the hug and silently began to cry. Tears fell quietly from the older woman's eyes and into Quinn's blonde hair. Rachel joined the hug after a few seconds and Santana kept her distance. She was not comfortable. Quinn and Rachel were fourteen and eight. Their minds could be easily manipulated. She was not about to be made a fool just ten minutes after returning home. She wasn't relieved or hopeful, she was angry.

Shelby made enough scrambled eggs for the four of them, adding a pickle to Quinn's plate. The ate in semi-awkward silence. Santana couldn't remember a time they ate dinner as a family. Rachel, always acting, played the part of a waitress and happily cleaned up everyone's plates and deposited them into the dishwasher.

Shortly after dinner, they sat in the living room watching television and making small talk about the weather and school. No one dared to bring up Shelby's accident or Quinn's rape. They were clearly the elephants in the room that everyone ignored. Quinn had announced she was going to bed and Shelby held her arms out hoping for another hug. Instead, Quinn gave her a soft smile and continued on to the bedroom.

Eventually, Rachel had gone to bed as well. Santana promised to be there soon and they could listen to "Les Miserables" as they fell asleep once they knew Quinn was definitely sleeping.

Santana was left sitting in the living room with just her mother. The air was suddenly heavy and she felt it difficult to breathe. There was so much she wanted to say, but she had said it already, and Shelby betrayed her. Everyone else might fall for Shelby's good act, but Santana just didn't buy it.

"You're great to her, you always know just what she needs," Shelby said.

"Yeah well, she's an open book. You should listen to her sometime."

Shelby nodded. "I know I've been slacking, but Rachel and I are closer than you give me credit for, I think. I can tell how much she's missed me while you've been away."

"Why did you let Quinn and me suffer?" she asked spontaneously. "You always made a conscious effort to try and be your definition of normal for her. Not us. Why?"

Her mother was caught off guard by the interrogation, but was calm in her response. "She's so young, Santana. By the time she came along Daddy was-"

"Do not call him that. Don't even talk about him to me," she spat. "He is not my father."

Shelby changed gears. "She's different, Santana. When you and Quinn were toddlers I had control, but you both had such strong personalities at young ages. Rachel is.. she's soft. You're always so angry, Quinn is always so sad. I failed you. I couldn't fail the one innocent thing I had left." She said in a whisper.

Santana felt her stomach tie in knots. "So what? Me and Quinn weren't innocent enough for you? Quinn wasn't innocent before he raped her? How can you... how can you say that?"

"Now, Santana you know that is not what I mean!"

Santana stood. "Whatever, Mom. I'm going to bed. Talk tomorrow."

Shelby continued to talk and call after her, but Santana drowned her out and retreated to her room with her sisters. She was surprised to feel somewhat excited at the thought of sleeping in her own bed. She was still waiting for that one perfect night of sleep that hadn't come in nearly a week. Rachel was already sound asleep, so Les Miz would have to wait until tomorrow night. Just as she was about to doze off, Quinn's voice broke through the darkness of the room.

"San?"

"Yeah? You okay?"

Quinn didn't answer and Santana wondered if maybe that still wasn't the best thing to say, but it was a genuine concern.

"Quinn?"

There was silence again and Santana wondered if maybe Quinn just need reassurance that she was in the room safely. She waited for Quinn to reply, but the exhaustion from the day and the guilt she felt towards Brittany, and the resentment she had towards her mother all hit her too quickly, and she was asleep before she heard the answer.

"I hate myself."

 **TA-DA! Sorry for the wait on this one! It's worth noting that I do not have a beta and all mistakes and typos are totally my own because I'm a lazy proofreader. Hope you enjoyed this latest update! As always, more to come. It's going to be a push-pull journey for sure.**

 **rainbowbright108- Quinn is going through a TON. It's a ton for anyone at any age, but at 14 we are already so vulnerable and working through things, that adding trauma to it is just unfathomable. I feel for her so, so much. Shelby will try. We'll see how it goes.**

 **Guest- Shelby is a very complex character. She is guilty of a lot and it will NOT be an easy road. The next few chapters will have much more Shelby and we'll be able to see what her true colors might be.**

 **clj7- So glad you love it! Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **beaner008- I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Will will be back and we may see him and Shelby interact shortly. Will's a great guy, and he's certainly not a Shelby fan. It will be interesting to see.**

 **anunleashedmind- Schue will always be in the girls corner, that much I can promise you. He made an appearance in this chapter until I decided to go back and edit nearly the entire thing. We'll see him again soon!**

 **MaudeLebowski- Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're such a fan and I hope this chapter was also worth the wait. Shelby is still a mystery. She has a ton of flaws, so despite what she may want or feel, her flaws may get seriously in the way. Time will tell...**

 **KalenCaelli- Thank you for all of your reviews and catching up! I love seeing what you're thinking each chapter. Hope you enjoy!**


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